How to be true to yourself and live the life you want

How to be true to yourself and live the life you want

How to be true to yourself and live the life you want

Here’s what pops into my head when I think about being true to yourself — integrity, beliefs, personal values, honesty, sincerity, unwavering principles, being complete, authentic, living by what is and what is not acceptable to you, morals, ethics, right and wrong, honor, not being false, truth.

The words feel good to me — positive, healthy, strong, peaceful and happy.

So — it seems being true to yourself is a good thing.

Here’s how 2 B U

    Being true to yourself starts with knowing who you are and accepting yourself; knowing your strengths, passions, limitations and purpose in life and then living that way all the time. You come to know yourself only by living life. Finding what works for you. What defines you and makes you whole.

Being true to yourself is a personal choice for truth; making choices about how you want to live. You have the total power to live your life any way you want and to be faithful and factual to the truth about you.

Being true to yourself means you don’t worry about pleasing other people; living by someone else’s standards or rules. You don’t care what people think of you. You live as your natural self. Without compromise. No one can tell you how to be true to yourself except you.

  • Being true to yourself is this simple — either you live in integrity or you live out of integrity. That’s it. In or out. Moment to moment. No other choices. No other way to live other than being true to who you are. You choose one course of action. One way to be.
  • 1. I love how author and spiritualist Don Miguel Ruiz describes it:

    “Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean.
    Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.
    Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”


    Can you really live one way?

    Start examining your life and see if every single situation you’re involved with is healthy for you in your mind and heart. Ask: Am I being true to myself here? If not, find out why and then change it. Go ahead and tell the truth about yourself to everyone.

    Yup. That’s right. Tell the whole truth. You’ll probably shake things up and disrupt some people but when the ‘fall out’ settles you’ll be saying — “This is who I am. This is how I intend to live my life. This is the real me!”

    In the process of speaking your truth you’ll garner something wonderful — authenticity — living your values and your beliefs.

    2. Gandhi gives us three wise and basic guide lines to live your values:

    “Be congruent. Be authentic. Be your true self.”

    I’m not saying be any way you want. Jails are full of people who do that and don’t care at all about the effect they have on others or the world. It means being responsible; holding yourself accountable for your thoughts and actions.

    We’re all born with instincts about how to live. If you go away from those innate feelings you may feel bad; you’ll hurt, be ashamed and even get angry.

    When I look back on my life I sometimes cringe thinking about some of the things I said and did. Wishing I could change it. Well you can. That’s the gift. The bad feelings are your internal, ethical GPS letting you know that the direction you went in was unjust to someone or something or yourself. It’s an opportunity because you can always change how you see it, grow and be different. Never do it again.

    In life there are no mistakes. Everything is a learning experience which helps you know how you can be true to yourself.

    3. Joan of Arc was passionate about living your beliefs:

    “One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it.
    But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief,
    that is a fate more terrible than dying.”

    When you’re true to yourself you’re also true to other people. And in being true to others you’re being true right back at yourself. It’s an inseparable dance of ethics.

    Sure you’ll be finding your way. Sometimes you’ll slip, falter, fall down and completely fail but that is perfectly OK because it’s these life lessons that make you the person you are; they build and hone the essence of you and help you choose the real YOU.

    To be true to yourself means never to lessen the meaning of who you are. Never to be partial. Never living two different ways.

    Often I say to my coaching clients — find out what you want. Because when you know exactly what you want in life then you’ll be able to go after it full force and that means being true to yourself, living in integrity and trusting in a self-purpose that sets you free, guides and leads you to be your true self and live your heart felt dreams, even while you’re in process and working to change.

    Give yourself permission to be your true self

    I’m still becoming Michael. Still discovering who I am and working at being true to myself. It’s an exhilarating way to live and I’ve discovered one mighty and liberating fact — it’s OK to be me and to want to be true to myself!

    Remember — you’re the game changer – you’re in charge — you’re the boss of you — you set the ground rules and boundaries — no one else has that superb power or pleasure. No one else ever should. Live your truth.

    4. You’ll know this truth by Shakespeare:

    “This above all: to thine own self be true,
    And it must follow, as the night the day,
    Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

    How to be true to yourself and live the life you want

    We all struggle with getting pulled in different directions in life.

    With all the distractions that surround us on a daily basis, we may also struggle with staying true to ourselves.

    By becoming self-aware of your feelings, emotions, environment, and life, in general, is an essential way of being true to yourself and overcoming those distractions.

    Understanding your feelings and how to express them accurately and positively is paramount to being self-aware and honest with yourself.

    Social peer pressures of popular demand can influence you to do what you think others want you to do rather than what you truly want to do.

    But despite all of this, it’s essential to be true to yourself. Do not live for others…live your life for you. Do what makes you happiest.

    Eat the whole cake if you want to, listen to the music you want to listen to, and be exactly the person you want to be…Do not be influenced by the masses.

    Be an independent thinker, not a minion.

    The Importance of Being True to Yourself

    Being true to yourself is true happiness. Living an honest life is better than living a lie. Lies weight them that will only bring you down.

    Letting go of the things that do not have a positive impact on your life is necessary in order to be true to yourself.

    Doing the things that you love makes for a happy and healthy life.

    Whether it is having hobbies such as hiking and camping for the always positive nature therapy, or simply making time to read your favorite book, it is important to be true to yourself by doing what you love.

    Not to mention, being true to one’s self is beneficial to one’s mental health, which is important to maintain that happy lifestyle.

    The importance of being true to yourself are countless.

    10 Simple Ways to Be True to Yourself

    1.Be Real with Yourself.

    Be Honest. Get real with yourself. If you do not know who you are yet, start searching.

    Find yourself and hold on to that person.

    Don’t lose who you are in this world that is full of influencers trying to sway you from the path you are meant for, but holdfast and remain true to yourself.

    2.Be self-aware

    Environmentally conscious. Be aware of your feelings and how to express yourself in a positive, honest way.

    Remain grounded in a world full of vanity, greed, and fame-seeking. Focus on positive hobbies and causes.

    3.Learn to say NO

    To best serve your interests. For so many of us, the ability to say no can be such a challenge.

    Learning to say no is a valuable life lesson.

    Do not shy away from standing up for what you want out of life! Say no to whatever you want!

    But say yes to things too! This will help you be true to yourself.

    4.Find your TRIBE! Get a good group of friends and cherish them.

    Your friends should be there to help keep you grounded and living your best life.

    5.Stop trying to please others

    Please yourself! It is a natural human instinct to want to please others.

    Humans often seek the approval of their fellow species to validate their life and or actions.

    Do not seek the approval of others! Live for yourself and do whatever is best for your soul.

    6.DO YOU! You know what is best for you…so do it.

    Ignore society’s peer pressure and do what is best for yourself.

    With the constant bombardment of society and the media, it can be hard to know what to believe.

    7. Trust YOUR Intuition.

    That feeling in your gut, trust it.

    Your intuition is a natural feeling that will help you make good decisions for yourself. In addition to helping keep yourself honest and true.

    Nobody knows you better than yourself (if you are self-aware!) and trusting your intuition is key to getting what you want out of life.

    Navigating this life can be troublesome at times. Trust yourself. You know what to do.

    8.Let go of what does not have a positive impact on your life.

    In order to be true to yourself, let go of the emotional baggage.

    If something no longer has a positive impact on your life, let it go.

    9.Accept that you as a human make mistakes…Learn the lessons and move on.

    Admitting you are wrong is never fun, but it is important to learn how to accept that we all make mistakes.

    It is how we learn from our mistakes that define us as humans.

    The mistakes of life are lessons, learn the lessons, and move on with your life.

    10.Be open and express yourself

    Remain open-minded to learn new things, but do not compromise yourself and your beliefs.

    Another life hack…learn how to express your feelings for optimal communication.

    How to Know if You are Being True to Yourself

    Ask yourself if you are happy with your life? Are you living the way you want to live?

    If the answers are yes, then it is a guarantee that you are being true to yourself.

    In general, the human species becomes quite unhappy when they aren’t being true to themselves.

    Feelings of anxiety and stress are also ways of telling whether or not you are being true to yourself.

    If you are not being true to yourself, you will know.

    While knowing if you are being true to yourself can be tricky, but if you are truly self-aware, then it should be easy to realize whether you are being true to yourself or not.

    Final Thoughts

    The importance of being true to one’s self is apparent and a real issue for people throughout the world.

    Mental health is vital to a desirable, happy lifestyle.

    Do not live a life of lies, live your best life.

    Whatever is best for your soul, do that!

    Be true to yourself about what you need and what you want.

    Being honest with yourself is the first step to becoming self-aware and understanding your feelings, needs, and how to handle all of them.

    Life is like a wave that ebbs and flows with positive and negative periods.

    Being true to yourself will help you to ride the wave and prepare you to make it through the hard times and enjoy the good times.

    Hi, I wish you a very good day today!

    I want to start by taking the time to tell you that you are beautiful on the inside and on the outside. I also want to remind you that nobody is like you, that you are unique. Own it. It’s a good time to remind you of this because it is today’s talk that we are going to have. So let’s start.

    Can we agree that one of the things that make this world so beautiful is the diversity? Not only between humans but between animals, plants, colors, … it’s just so beautiful. Today though, we’re going to talk about us, humans. How different we are. The different skin, eye, hair colors. The different bodies, languages, and personalities. There are so many differences and we should embrace them, love them.

    I don’t know and I don’t understand why people always made and still make such a bad point on differences. Now children grow up with this. They are already comparing themselves to others. It is an issue. I think especially when you are in your teens. It’s the time when you get confronted with new situations, you get confronted with reality and it’s not always pretty.
    You doubt yourself a lot, you compare yourself to others, you think you’re not pretty enough, talented enough or whatever it might be. You notice the things that make you different from others, and instead of embracing them you try to change them.

    « Differences make each and every one of us unique. »

    I don’t even want to let you imagine how this world would look like if we would all be the same. It would be really boring. Thank God, it’s not. So I want to remind you to stay true to yourself. Be yourself. Stand to your beliefs, speak up for what you think is right and wrong. Keep doing what you love to do, wear what you want. Show your personality, who you are. People are going to love you!

    Now, if you already have people around you, they love you. They love you for who you are. I want to remind you of this because sometimes we can feel like we are not pretty enough, funny enough, smart enough. That we are just not enough anymore. Sometimes we feel like we have to change something about us. But really, we don’t. You wouldn’t be yourself anymore. And you know, yourself looks so good on you! So forget about trying to be someone else.

    The greatest gift you can give somebody is to be yourself. It is also the greatest gift you can receive, having someone by your side just the way they are and loving them for that.

    But maybe you are in this kind of situations where you don’t feel like you belong. And a lot of the time when we don’t feel like we belong, we feel like we don’t have the right people by our side. We feel like nobody understands us. We wonder if we will ever meet someone that will understand and that will love us for who we are. Because if you are in this situation, I’m pretty sure you thought to yourself a couple times that maybe the reason why you haven’t met anybody yet is that you have to change yourself and that maybe if you stay that way nobody will ever want you. I know I have had thoughts like these. But I was so wrong to let myself think about such things. So now that I am aware that it is definitely not the good way to think, I am here to tell you.

    I want to share with you something that I try to keep in mind:

    « Don’t go looking for love but go looking for life, because life is going to bring you love. »

    Love does not only mean a romantic relationship, but it can also mean a friendship for example. And these people are going to come to meet you. I will say though, that you have to do one thing to meet these people:
    Be yourself.
    That’s it. If you are not yourself you might meet the wrong people all along, but if you are who you truly are, you are going to meet your people. You know, you are going to meet so many people in your life. Some people will just pass by but it doesn’t mean that they were the “wrong people” they are just not meant to stay. And then you will meet people that will stay and change your life forever.

    Until you meet them, just be you. Do what you love to do, what matters to you. Do all the things that define you. Be entirely you. And you’ll be ready when someone will cross your way. Ready to welcome them into your world. By the way, they will be ready too. Ready to introduce you to their world. I know I just talked about how different we all are, but at the same time, we are very similar. Especially when it comes to life experiences and feelings.

    I feel like I could talk forever about this, but I’m going to leave it here for today. I will definitely talk more about it, in upcoming posts. I hope this was helpful to you and that you’ll stay true to yourself today!

    How to be true to yourself and live the life you want

    Have the courage to be true to yourself, have the courage to walk in your own footsteps and not let the world define who you become. It is so easy to just let the world define who you become and how you live, it doesn’t require much effort to be like the masses, it is so easy to give up on the entrepreneurial journey, but you must not give up, you must keep pushing, keep working hard and continue to persist until you get to where you want to be.

    Are you living life on your own terms, are you being true to who you really want to be and how you want to live. Your work is an expression of who you are, what is your life work going to be, are you just going to cower away and be timid in the pursuit of greatness.

    Are you really living life true to your values, ambitions, goals, and dreams, or have you just become accustomed to the mediocre life. No dreams, no ambition, no goals, no plans, no determination, no drive and no hunger to succeed. Are you really pushing your limits and living life at your full potential, or have you become like the weak minded sheep who do nothing with days and have let their dreams disintegrate into dust.

    If you want this entrepreneurial life you have to put in the work every single day no matter what, successful people always make time for success, that is is why they become successful. Look deep within yourself, what ignites the fire within you, don’t just waste your time living someone else’s life, you are the one who is charge so stand up today and rise to the challenge that is ahead of you and push yourself toward greatness.

    Don’t be timid in the pursuit of a better life, do you even know how powerful you are, do not define yourself by your past, people define themselves by where they are and what they have done. It doesn’t matter what you haven’t become or accomplished in life so far, what matters most is who you want to be and what you want to achieve.

    The moments in front of you are those moments that will define how you live in the future, so get up and put in the work every single day, and keep moving in the direction of your dreams, as hard work does pay off for those who are persistent.

    Don’t try to be like someone else, be who you want to be from the depths of your heart. Feel the greatness within you and have the courage to become the person you have always wanted to be. If you don’t shape your world it will be shaped for you, and you will end up being like the majority of people living a mediocre life who have resigned themselves to mediocrity. People are born, get brainwashed into becoming an employee through the education system, lead an average life and then die having never truly lived.

    The majority of your life will be spent at work building someone else’s dreams, why not strike out and mould your life and yourself the way you want it to be, you are the director of your life so write a new story filled with fearlessness and adventure where you play the hero who is destined for greatness.

    Don’t be afraid to take the path that you want to take, create the grandest vision of yourself in your mind, believe in yourself with conviction that you have what it takes to become the person you want to be and live the life you want to live.

    “This above all: To thine own self be true.”

    To follow your path, you have to stay true to yourself. Staying true to yourself is the only way how to navigate your life and your choices. When you live from the center of your being, and your mind-heart-soul are aligned, you live in your highest potential. But to stay true to yourself, you have to know who you are at the core of your being. You know the deepest motives of your actions, and you’re on bouncing between the polarities in your life. Between masculine and feminine, between dark and light. You come to your center. To that still point within your being where only pure knowingness exists.

    The Importance of Staying True to Yourself

    As we’re collectively awakening, there are many layers of consciousness present. Even in the online world, you can find advice originating in different stages of personal transformation.

    Likewise, when you ask your friends for advice, some of it may likely be contradictory to each other. You can receive any advice based on what you want to hear based on your resonance and inner conflict around the topic. Although it doesn’t have to mean that what your friends (or anyone else) tell you is the right advice for you. It may even distract you from following your path.

    In my memoir, I’ve shared that when I was younger, I desperately wanted a spiritual teacher. But this dream didn’t come true. At least not in the physical form. (I’ve been trained in non-physical levels).

    This had taught me at an early age that all the guidance I need is within me. I don’t need to look up to anyone or read channeled messages.

    In ourselves, we already have every piece of guidance we’ll ever need.

    But I also know that had I not have this experience of not meeting a teacher or a book that would be it, I could get easily distracted by the opinions of others.

    I see people talking to their friends about their problems and then energetically aligning with that opinion and creating the same experience for themselves.

    When you’re not true to yourself and get too focused on the outer world, your energy will get dispersed too many directions.

    In reality, it doesn’t matter what your friends or family think about your life. It’s equally irrelevant what you read online or in books. At best, other people’s opinions can guide you. At worst, it can make you feel stuck and unmotivated because it’s not aligned with your inner guidance. But eventually, you have to take the steps that honor your truest self because you’ll be the one walking your path – not others.

    Therefore, the only way to follow your path is by staying true to yourself.

    How to Stay True to Yourself

    When you stay true to yourself, you don’t get stuck with the opinions of others. You honor your inner truth and act in alignment with it. It’s good to be open to receiving help and uplifting energy from others, but there is a whole universe of difference between giving your power away to others and staying true to yourself.

    1. Honor What Works For You

    To follow your path, you only need to do what works for you and what supports you. That something doesn’t have to be perfect or even spiritual.

    Don’t walk someone else’s path. What I sometimes see people doing is getting too motivated by someone else. They unconsciously tap into that person’s energy field and feel their excitement and believe that it’s their own.

    When the excitement wears off, they start to doubt themselves because it seems like they can’t achieve the same result as their idol. Well, you can’t ever achieve the same results if you follow the path of someone else.

    2. Heart’s Resonance

    To follow your path, you have to tap into your heart’s resonance. The spiritual heart has a higher consciousness than our minds. Therefore it can safely guide to taking the right steps.

    Attune to the frequency of your higher heart and let its vibratory field guide you.

    When you stay true to yourself, you ask yourself:

    Is this in resonance with my inner truth?

    What do I want to express?

    Which people’s guidance in my life is potentially misguiding me?

    Is this aligned with what I truly want?

    What do I need to know or do to follow my path with more ease?

    3. Stay True to Yourself

    When staying true to yourself, you always need to come back to your center. You don’t always need to know the next step just yet. Allow yourself time to find inner clarity.

    How staying true to yourself may look:

    • Being firm in your boundaries.As you consciously follow your path, you’ll realize that there are no real shoulds. There are only choices. Is this person or situation really needed in your life?
    • Open up uncomfortable conversations. Sometimes you have to have that unpleasant conversation or explain to someone why you can’t be there for them every time they want.
    • Stop taking in energies that aren’t beneficial to you. Maybe you realize that a friend you love has become a way too often negative, and it impacts you. In this case, you either learn not to take it in or reduce the contacts with them.
    • Following your path of purpose. Staying true to yourself also means that you allow yourself to commit to what is meaningful to you fully.

    How to be true to yourself and live the life you want

    How to be true to yourself and live the life you want

    Here’s what pops into my head when I think about being true to yourself — integrity, beliefs, personal values, honesty, sincerity, unwavering principles, being complete, authentic, living by what is and what is not acceptable to you, morals, ethics, right and wrong, honor, not being false, truth.

    The words feel good to me — positive, healthy, strong, peaceful and happy.

    So — it seems being true to yourself is a good thing.

    Here’s how 2 B U

      Being true to yourself starts with knowing who you are and accepting yourself; knowing your strengths, passions, limitations and purpose in life and then living that way all the time. You come to know yourself only by living life. Finding what works for you. What defines you and makes you whole.

    Being true to yourself is a personal choice for truth; making choices about how you want to live. You have the total power to live your life any way you want and to be faithful and factual to the truth about you.

    Being true to yourself means you don’t worry about pleasing other people; living by someone else’s standards or rules. You don’t care what people think of you. You live as your natural self. Without compromise. No one can tell you how to be true to yourself except you.

  • Being true to yourself is this simple — either you live in integrity or you live out of integrity. That’s it. In or out. Moment to moment. No other choices. No other way to live other than being true to who you are. You choose one course of action. One way to be.
  • 1. I love how author and spiritualist Don Miguel Ruiz describes it:

    “Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean.
    Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.
    Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”


    Can you really live one way?

    Start examining your life and see if every single situation you’re involved with is healthy for you in your mind and heart. Ask: Am I being true to myself here? If not, find out why and then change it. Go ahead and tell the truth about yourself to everyone.

    Yup. That’s right. Tell the whole truth. You’ll probably shake things up and disrupt some people but when the ‘fall out’ settles you’ll be saying — “This is who I am. This is how I intend to live my life. This is the real me!”

    In the process of speaking your truth you’ll garner something wonderful — authenticity — living your values and your beliefs.

    2. Gandhi gives us three wise and basic guide lines to live your values:

    “Be congruent. Be authentic. Be your true self.”

    I’m not saying be any way you want. Jails are full of people who do that and don’t care at all about the effect they have on others or the world. It means being responsible; holding yourself accountable for your thoughts and actions.

    We’re all born with instincts about how to live. If you go away from those innate feelings you may feel bad; you’ll hurt, be ashamed and even get angry.

    When I look back on my life I sometimes cringe thinking about some of the things I said and did. Wishing I could change it. Well you can. That’s the gift. The bad feelings are your internal, ethical GPS letting you know that the direction you went in was unjust to someone or something or yourself. It’s an opportunity because you can always change how you see it, grow and be different. Never do it again.

    In life there are no mistakes. Everything is a learning experience which helps you know how you can be true to yourself.

    3. Joan of Arc was passionate about living your beliefs:

    “One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it.
    But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief,
    that is a fate more terrible than dying.”

    When you’re true to yourself you’re also true to other people. And in being true to others you’re being true right back at yourself. It’s an inseparable dance of ethics.

    Sure you’ll be finding your way. Sometimes you’ll slip, falter, fall down and completely fail but that is perfectly OK because it’s these life lessons that make you the person you are; they build and hone the essence of you and help you choose the real YOU.

    To be true to yourself means never to lessen the meaning of who you are. Never to be partial. Never living two different ways.

    Often I say to my coaching clients — find out what you want. Because when you know exactly what you want in life then you’ll be able to go after it full force and that means being true to yourself, living in integrity and trusting in a self-purpose that sets you free, guides and leads you to be your true self and live your heart felt dreams, even while you’re in process and working to change.

    Give yourself permission to be your true self

    I’m still becoming Michael. Still discovering who I am and working at being true to myself. It’s an exhilarating way to live and I’ve discovered one mighty and liberating fact — it’s OK to be me and to want to be true to myself!

    Remember — you’re the game changer – you’re in charge — you’re the boss of you — you set the ground rules and boundaries — no one else has that superb power or pleasure. No one else ever should. Live your truth.

    4. You’ll know this truth by Shakespeare:

    “This above all: to thine own self be true,
    And it must follow, as the night the day,
    Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

    How to be true to yourself and live the life you want

    How important is it to be true to yourself?

    People tell me that I think differently than most other people. For example, with rain, I notice that most people have a particular reaction to it.

    Some get annoyed, some want to dance in it, some are grateful, some become worried, and some want to stay home and play “house.”

    However, people’s reaction to the rain isn’t what’s fascinating — the fact that the rain doesn’t stop for any reason other than completing its job is the fascinating part.

    The rain doesn’t care about your situation, feelings, opinions, desires, plans, or anything else about you or me. It just rains. It has a job to do and it does it well.

    Here’s where I think differently than most others: Human beings are designed to operate exactly the same as the rain does.

    When you’re truly authentic, all you can be is yourself.

    Think about it. Babies don’t care about anyone’s feelings when they want something. They just cry and scream and yet we love them to pieces.

    You could say they can’t talk, so that’s all they can do. You would be correct, but you’d be missing the point.

    Look at toddlers. They love you, hug you, kiss you, and all that stuff. However, the minute they want something, they let you know about it and they don’t care how you feel or what you’re doing. You need to get it for them — now!

    Adolescents pretty much do what they want, too, just not quite as much. Why? Because they’ve been “domesticated” by parents, teachers, religious folk, and pretty much all grown-ups to follow instructions, do as they’re told, etc.

    They begin to take on the characteristics of grown-ups.

    Interestingly, while I was in the middle of writing this, I came across a quote from an anonymous teen who once described adults this way: “They shouldn’t be called ‘grown-ups.’ They should be called ‘given-ups’!”

    There’s a pattern here.

    Occasionally, we meet people who could care less what we think of them.

    They just live their life. Many of us admire them. Some of us don’t like them very much. Some don’t notice either way.

    What’s fascinating about people who don’t care whether you like them or not is that, generally, most people actually do like them.

    They’re just doing what they’re doing — just like the rain.

    In other words, the best way to have people like you is to not care whether people like you or not. It’s counterintuitive but true.

    Here are 3 reasons why authenticity and remaining true to yourself are important.

    1. No one knows what’s best for you better than you do.

    Even your parents, teachers, or coaches don’t know what’s best for you, really. You can get their help in identifying what that may be but that job is ultimately yours alone to decide, declare, and live.

    Succumbing to what others want you to do robs you of your power, robs the world of your greatest contributions, and unless stopped, will be the biggest regret of your life.

    By “being the rain,” you cause others to have to deal with and make adjustments to you, rather than the other way around.

    People will respect and admire you for being true to yourself. When you live your truth as authentically, kindly, and straightforwardly as you possibly can, everyone benefits.

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    2. If you like yourself, you won’t need the approval of others.

    And you won’t seek it, either, because you approve of yourself. Others won’t feel manipulated into having to like you or else you’ll break down and cry.

    People don’t realize how much pressure they put on others to like them. Those on the receiving end of that pressure feel trapped, like they have no choice. They end up resenting us for it.

    Also, we don’t realize how much pressure we put on ourselves to have others like us. We end up resenting ourselves because we’ll do things that aren’t something we really want to do.

    We end up sacrificing our own sense of integrity and sell out our values to be liked. That doesn’t work.

    3. No one can like or love you more than you like or love yourself.

    Put another way, you won’t let them like you or love you more than you like or love yourself.

    If they do, then you basically will be calling them a liar because you’ll be thinking, “If they really knew me, they wouldn’t like me,” or something like this.

    Conquer social pressure, or it will conquer you.

    How to be true to yourself and live the life you want

    Do you sometimes feel like you don’t love your life? Like, deep inside, something is missing?

    That’s because we are living someone else’s life. We allowed other people to influence or determine our choices—we are trying to please their expectations.

    Social pressure is deceiving—we all become prey without noticing it. Before we realize we lost control of our lives, we end up envying how other people live. We can only see the greener grass—ours is never good enough.

    To regain that passion for the life you want, you must recover ownership of your choices.

    The Illusion of Others

    You are not alone. Expectations are hard to overcome. With my experience coaching executives and their teams, I’m used to dealing with expectations—everyone is susceptible to the illusion of others.

    Pleasing others is like chasing a moving target. People will have multiple hopes for you. Social pressure fluctuates—others’ expectations will continually change.

    By trying to please everyone, we end up pleasing no one—ourselves included. Expectations are an illusion. That’s why most people don’t live the life they want. They feel frustrated and disappointed.

    When we expect, we stop accepting reality. Anticipation is annoying—even when things go as expected, you can’t enjoy unsurprising events. Even when we get what we wished for, we can’t be happy either. That’s the problem with anticipation—we fall in love with the expectations. If what we anticipated doesn’t come true, life seems unfair. If it does, the lack of surprise makes the actual experience less exciting.

    The same thing happens with people. They get frustrated when you don’t behave as they expect. That’s key to understand—it’s their problem, not yours.

    Why People Expect You to Be Different

    “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

    Many people bear resentment when the outcome of an event is less than they imagined it would be, even if their expectation was based on unreasonable assumptions.

    Frustration is the gap between what people expect from you and who you are.

    To bridge that void, you must reframe your relationship with people’s expectations. Expectations create a social contract—it’s an implicit agreement between others and you. If you don’t push back, people will assume you are okay with it.

    Speak up. Or people will continue invading you. If you don’t resist, not only do you legitimize the agreement, it becomes a social practice. Soon, you’ll start doing the same to others—when you let other people define your life, you want to prescribe theirs, too.

    Not expecting things from others is the first step to preventing people from dictating how you live. Life is a two-way street—when you realize that no one owes you anything, you stop expecting people to owe you anything either.

    No one knows yourself better than you do. No one but yourself can choose how you live.

    Fall In Love With Your Life (Again)

    1. Put on your oxygen mask first.

    The first step to getting rid of expectations is to treat yourself kindly. To take care of others, you have to put on your oxygen mask first—you can’t truly love other people if you don’t love yourself first. Accepting ourselves fully (flaws included) is the foundation for a long-term friendship. When we accept who we are, there’s no room for other’s expectations.

    Being self-compassionate is like fresh oxygen to your mind.

    Research by Kristin Neff shows that compassionate acts towards ourselves release the “feel-good” hormones. Increased levels of oxytocin make us feel comforted, calm, and connected.

    2. Adjust the way you think.

    You cannot control what others think about you, but you can choose how you talk to yourself. Your inner-talk can help or harm you, as I wrote here. Learn to choose your words wisely. Your expectations can put you in a box—you are the only one who can set yourself free.

    You are the best person you can talk to.

    Pay attention to your inner-dialogue—are you being kind to yourself or adding more pressure? Does your conversation focus on who you are and what you want to be? Or is it full of expectations of who you should be? Your dialogue should be yours, not shaped by other people’s thoughts.

    3. Speak up.

    People need limits—some because they are acting without noticing, others because they tend to impose their desires. Speak up. Don’t let them dictate who you are and what you should do.

    People will assume the social contract is active unless you explicitly break it.

    Learn to draw a line. You don’t need to be harsh, though. Just let others know when they are out of bounds—not everyone realizes when they are trying to define how you live.

    4. Free yourself and free others.

    When you remove your own preconceptions and expectations, you can do the same for others. Living the life you love is liberating—you don’t feel the pressure to please others. Similarly, you won’t need to impose your will on others either.

    When you take ownership of your life, other people feel empowered to follow suit.

    Expectations are an illusion—they add useless pressure to everyone. Let’s recover the joy of living. Remember when you were a kid. You probably didn’t have time for expectations—you were busy enjoying life one minute at a time.

    5. Stop judging, stop expecting.

    Expectations derive from being judgmental—when someone can’t accept how you behave, they expect you to change. By learning to be more compassionate toward yourself, not only will you ease your own expectations, but you also won’t feel the need to judge others.

    Life is not perfect—removing expectations will let you appreciate your life as is.

    Judgment adds frustration and negativity—perfectionists are never happy. When you let go of expectations, you create space to enjoy the here and now. Your life is not what should happen, but what is actually happening as you read these words.

    Learning to accept reality is hard, but it’s a significant step towards finding calm and peace. Removing expectations doesn’t mean lowering your bar, but rather letting go of the unnecessary pressure. Only when we are relaxed can we give our best.

    Any moment is a turning point if you decide to make the most of it. You are in charge. Love your life. Accept the worst and hope for the best.

    You’re not unworthy or undeserving.

    How to be true to yourself and live the life you want

    How to be true to yourself and live the life you want

    Google a list of the top regrets people have on their deathbeds, and the results are nearly the same no matter which link you choose.

    At the end of life, people regret they didn’t live a life more true to themselves. They lived instead according to other people’s and society’s expectations.

    They regretted they weren’t more loving, more honest, more generous, more creative, and more adventurous.

    Instead, they feared judgment, and got caught up in traps of self doubt. Feeling unworthy and undeserving, most people don’t dare to live an authentic life.

    Feeling unworthy begins to steer your life.

    The seeds of feeling unworthy or undeserving get planted early. They take root and feel so familiar, you don’t realize those feelings are imposters. You don’t realize they aren’t your true nature, and you don’t realize your choices are being dictated by them.

    When we have self doubt, we don’t trust ourselves or others. We cut ourselves off from compassion, inner wisdom, and creativity. We act out from limited resources.

    Our actions and choices seem rational at the time because we don’t know those feelings of unworth and undeservedness are covering up our truth. The truth that we are lovable, and worthy right now, and we always have been.

    How to be true to yourself and live the life you want

    Eventually, unworthiness becomes a prison, locked in limiting beliefs, anxiety, shame, and even depression. A harsh inner judge lives in your head. Fear, indecision, and doubt hold you back..

    Eventually, the thought of being unworthy, insufficient, and not good enough become an identity.

    The identity of being unworthy lurks beneath the surface of every mood swing, anxious thought, addictive behavior, lonely moment, and depressed state.

    “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” — Buddha

    Face the pain of unworthiness with tenderness and kindness, and you can heal.

    Okay, you’ve felt how feeling unworthy or undeserving has stopped you from living your most authentic life, but what can you do about it?

    Non-judgmental awareness is what you can do about it.

    Bring your awareness to any feelings of unworthiness or undeservedness. While you’re aware of them, you’re not judging them. Regard it all with kindness.

    Invite these parts to come sit with you.

    Can you be with these parts with kindness? Do these parts need anything from you? Can you listen to them but not argue with them or tell them they’re wrong? Can you embrace them and give them the reassurances they didn’t get when they needed it?

    Unworthiness and undeservedness are nothing more than a fog that’s covered up your true nature. Spending time with your wounded parts, with the intention of self compassion, clears that fog and wakes you from the dream of unworthiness and undeservedness.

    How to be true to yourself and live the life you want

    You can live a life true to yourself, and you don’t have to wait until the end to do it.

    Starting right now, dare to make your choices from your authentic self. Get real about why you’re doing what you’re doing. Ask yourself:

    What value is this bringing? Is this coming from my authentic self or from seeds of self doubt? Am I making a choice that aligns with my purpose and my values?

    If a wounded part that feels unworthy or undeserving is trying to hijack the situation, listen to it with compassion. Then lovingly reassure it you’re in charge and everything will be okay.

    Little by little, your life will change to be more in line with what you really want and who you really are.

    Change happens one small step at a time. What single small step can you take today to make a change that steers yourself toward a more authentic life?