How to build self esteem (a guide to realize your hidden power)

How to Build Self Esteem: Your self-esteem is such an integral part of you that you need to know how to build your esteem if you don’t want to fall prey into the depressing emotions of low self-esteem, inferiority complex, and all such likes. These emotions and outlook can be detrimental to you in many ways than what you could think possible. So let’s go on with this and find out how to effectively develop our self-perception.

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How to build self-esteem is a tool everyone who wants to stand out must learn how to use. All leadership perspectives revolve around your self-esteem determines how you relate to others in respect to how you view your worth. Your view about yourself is important as it is a standpoint from which you view others too.

Learn from here how to build self-esteem, because this is one thing you need to do for yourself, as none can do it for you. Your self-esteem is a “you” thing that you alone can do, with others only acting as a guide to help you with it. So here we go, let’s find out how to build self-esteem.

Way to Build Self Esteem

  1. Develop Competence: You need to start the journey of building self-esteem by developing competence by gaining knowledge and expertise in certain basic areas of your life. The more you know, the more likely you will develop the right attitude about yourself as a solution to others.
  1. Affirm Positively Always: Positively affirmations will help you a whole lot in the quest of developing your self-esteem. Tell yourself those good things about you, remind yourself of your abilities, your skills, your worth and those things unique about you.
  2. Accept Compliments: Compliments are to be accepted as they are not a bad thing. Just keep an eye for flattery, and learn to differentiate the two. It is a sure way on how to build self-esteem by accepting genuine compliments and giving the same to deserving ones.
  3. Avoid Self Criticism :It is only unfair for you to criticize yourself and look down on yourself too. Avoid things that make you criticize or compare yourself in a negative light. This kills your self-esteem.
  4. Have Self Compassion: Yes, the most basic way on how to build self-esteem is to Love Yourself. It is a simple fact that if you do not love yourself, you won’t value or respect yourself and these are the nitty-gritty of self-esteem. So start by loving and cherishing yourself and do just those things that bring out the beauty in you.

I know you just learned the basic points on how to build self-esteem and self worth. Practice them and see the results for yourself.

How to build self esteem (a guide to realize your hidden power)

Hope you’re having a great week!

Did you know, research has shown that over 80% of people struggle with their self-esteem?

Maybe you can relate to experiencing feelings of low self-esteem now, or sometime in your life?

Self-esteem is a driving force behind our confidence, how we see and feel about ourselves, and encompasses our sense of value, significance, and self-worth.

Having a solid sense of self-esteem can positively impact and powerfully transform every area of your life – from your relationships to your career, from your health and well-being, to your fulfillment and levels of success.

That’s why I’m eager to share my latest article: How To Build Self Esteem – A Guide to Realize your Hidden Power. I hope you find it helpful and insightful!

And wherever you are on your self-esteem journey, please remember this:

You are awesome.
You are deserving of love, happiness and success.
You are worthy.
You are imperfectly perfect.
It’s not by chance that you have arrived here, on this planet, at this very time.
You are not a mistake.
Even if you feel inadequate, unlovable or unworthy, know that you are none of those things.
You are enough!
You may not be able to believe this just yet, but some part of you, deep down inside knows this to be true.

Here’s to loving yourself and living a life you love!

How to build self esteem (a guide to realize your hidden power)

Hope you’re having a great week!

Did you know, research has shown that over 80% of people struggle with their self-esteem?

Maybe you can relate to experiencing feelings of low self-esteem now, or sometime in your life?

Self-esteem is a driving force behind our confidence, how we see and feel about ourselves, and encompasses our sense of value, significance, and self-worth.

Having a solid sense of self-esteem can positively impact and powerfully transform every area of your life – from your relationships to your career, from your health and well-being, to your fulfillment and levels of success.

That’s why I’m eager to share my latest article: How To Build Self Esteem – A Guide to Realize your Hidden Power. I hope you find it helpful and insightful!

And wherever you are on your self-esteem journey, please remember this:

You are awesome.
You are deserving of love, happiness and success.
You are worthy.
You are imperfectly perfect.
It’s not by chance that you have arrived here, on this planet, at this very time.
You are not a mistake.
Even if you feel inadequate, unlovable or unworthy, know that you are none of those things.
You are enough!
You may not be able to believe this just yet, but some part of you, deep down inside knows this to be true.

Here’s to loving yourself and living a life you love!

We often hear of self-worth as necessary for forming a healthy sense of self-esteem and a solid self-identity. Self-worth is at the foundation for the concepts of self-acceptance and self-love. Without feeling a solid sense of worth or value it is difficult, if not impossible to feel worthy of love or acceptance from others.

The implications for a lack of self-worth are many. Those with limited self-worth are more vulnerable to experiencing toxic relationships and self-defeating behaviors which can include negative self-talk, avoidance of intimacy, comparing themselves to others or sabotaging relationships because of feeling undeserving of them. And, for anyone who has experienced an unhealthy or abusive relationship, they know all too well that the feelings of self-doubt that bubble up over time often get reinforced when staying in a toxic situation. Yet, because of their lack of self-worth or feelings of shame, they find themselves staying stuck in an unhealthy situation.

Adults with a history of childhood neglect or abuse often struggle with insecure attachments throughout life, including issues in forming and maintaining a healthy sense of self-worth. Enmeshed, anxious-ambivalent, angry-dismissive or avoidant attachment styles are at an increased risk for diagnoses like depression, anxiety, and in repeating cycles of unhealthy relationship dynamics which perpetuate feelings of worthlessness or in lacking value. Similarly, those who are raised to not recognize their competencies or skills often struggle with feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem throughout life.

10 Warning Signs that Self-Worth is Lacking

  • Feeling uncomfortable or self-conscious around others.
  • Avoidance of new places, relationships, or situations.
  • A history of abusive or neglectful relationships where basic needs are often unmet.
  • Seeking validation from others; a constant need for reassurance.
  • Settling for shallow or unfulfilling relationships.
  • Deep feelings of shame or not feeling “good enough”.
  • Discomfort with or inability to accept compliments from others.
  • People-pleasing behavior.
  • Sensitive to criticism or a fear of being judged by others.
  • Social anxiety or fear of being judged as unworthy.

Building Self-Worth

Building or rebuilding self-worth is a process and requires dedication, commitment and a desire to recognize that you are a worthwhile person.

Some tips in helping (re)establish a sense of worth include:

  • Aim for Improvement not Perfection. Shed the misconception that you or anyone has to be perfect. When self-worth is lacking, comparing yourself to others is common. What happens is you wind up shortchanging your attributes and qualities while focusing on your imperfections, which keeps you stuck in the loop of thinking you have no value. This type of mindset is toxic to self-love. Instead, recognize that no one is perfect and that imperfection does not mean a lack of worth or value.
  • Walk Away from Toxic Relationships. When you struggle with self-worth, you can be attracted to unhealthy relationships for many reasons — they fill a void, they distract you in the moment from having to think about your problems, your attention is shifted from your issues to focusing on their problems, or you may feel that a toxic relationship that lacks authenticity and depth is all you’re deserving of. These relationships are not limited to intimate partners but can also include friends, colleagues or family. Recognize whether your needs are being met or ignored, and how you feel when you are around certain people. If you are feeling unheard or invisible around them, or feel worse about yourself when you are with them, the relationship may not be a healthy one.
  • Acceptance. Recognize your inherent value and worth by accepting yourself completely while focusing on building your self-worth from there. Acceptance includes being kind to yourself, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and human and to treat yourself with compassion. If you have struggled with never feeling good enough throughout most of your life, be realistic in your expectations of personal growth and appreciate every step you master along the way. Remember that the journey is as important as the destination.
  • Positively Challenge Your Inner Critic. That little voice in your head wants to try and convince you that you are not good enough or worthy of happiness or love. And each time you sabotage your happiness, that little voice wins. If your inner critic is trying to convince you that you are not deserving of love or happiness, or only worth a toxic relationship, challenge those negative thoughts by becoming aware of when you are having them. Where are you when you hear negative self-talk? What are you doing? Try removing yourself from what you’re “being told” by challenging your misbeliefs as untrue.

Bilfulco, A., Moran, P. M., & Lillie, C. B. (2002). Adult attachment style: It’s relationship to psychosocial depressive-vulnerability. Soc. Psychiatry and Psych. Epidemiology, 37, 60 -67.

McCarthy, G., & Taylor, A. (1999). Avoidant/ambivalent attachment style as a mediator between abusive childhood experiences and adult relationship difficulties. Journal of Child Psychology & Psychiatry, 40( 3), 465 – 477.

Do you use your own inner tools or do you hand over that power to others?

Posted Feb 23, 2021

THE BASICS

  • What Is Self-Esteem?
  • Find counselling near me

How to build self esteem (a guide to realize your hidden power)

Years ago, I went on a reportedly gorgeous guided hike that was filled with killer views and exciting twists and turns. I set out with a great attitude. But for me (not a natural athlete by any means and scared of heights to boot) those twists and turns became far from exciting. They were terrifying.

I forced myself to breathe, as I channeled my inner mountain goat up and down the narrow, dusty trail, praying I wouldn’t fall to my death before sundown. I took no pictures — no smiling selfies with the mountains in the distance. I glanced up twice and briefly caught magnificence, but quickly directed my eyes back to that rocky path. Afterward, when questioned about the awesomeness of the experience, I could only laugh and mutter, “Literally, all I saw were my boots.”

I’ll never forget the experience of that day. It didn’t build my ego or act as an esteem booster. But I learned to ask a few more questions about the difficulty of my next trek.

Self-esteem is built on so many things; breadth of knowledge and seeing your place in the world as meaningful, challenging yourself and living out what you value, experiencing one’s self as making a difference, liking who you are, enjoying connection with others who are supportive and loving — and there are more.

Yet where is your sense of esteem or worth actually coming from?

Selfies might seem at first to indicate comfort with yourself. Taking selfies of what you ate, what you did, who you saw, where you were, what was funny or what was sad — they could easily appear as if you’re quite comfortable with yourself, enjoying the moment, and cataloging each one precisely.

But that’s not the way it often works. Multiple poses are sifted through until you get the “best” pic or video; filters and all kinds of add-ons are used to make it stand out. You’ve got to make it perfect. And then sadly, self-esteem doesn’t grow because you tried something, or you risked, or you challenged yourself. No. the source of your esteem can change from the experience itself to how much social media attention the post about the experience receives.

So, do you find your worth in the challenge of climbing the mountain or in savoring that others “like” the picture of you climbing the mountain? The first you have control over. The second — you don’t. With the first, you can be absorbed in the present. The second? Not only do you not have control over others’ reactions, but your heart and mind are focusing more on what may happen in the future — what others will have to say — rather than in the doing of it.

You may be willingly (but perhaps not intentionally) handing the tools you have to build your self-esteem over to others.

And that will backfire.

What’s the point?

Living in the present, for the present, and valuing what you’re creating builds true self-esteem.

Often, after someone’s divorced or a relationship has ended and they’re struggling with loneliness, I’ll ask them to watch a sunset. By themselves. Often, they’ll say, “Why would I want to do that?”

“Because it’s in the moment, when you’re seeing the colors, noting how relatively slowly or quickly the sun can seem to disappear, hearing how nature is responding to the end of daylight — all of that is your experience. And yours alone. And it’s through those unique experiences — that awareness that’s unique to you — that you build self-esteem.

“I watched a sunset. I thought it was beautiful. I enjoyed the time I spent doing that, by myself.”

All the “I’s” reflect feeling yourself very much in the present. Your present. Your hour and day.

Take a picture if you like. Post it wherever. No problem.

But don’t forget to notice you. And the importance of the moment because you lived it.

“Yeah, it was really interesting actually because growing up I was very shy. I dealt with having low self esteem. And then when I moved to Edmonton I started modeling and I remember my very first runway show. I secretly always wanted to model. Growing up, it was my secret heart of hearts that was something I wanted to do. So it had been on my mind for years. And then when an opportunity presented itself, I was terrified and I was so scared to audition. I was scared of rejection, mainly, and being judged. But I also knew that missing out, at that point I knew not trying and living with that regret, I knew that feeling. So I figured that being told no is better than that regret of never trying. So I just went for it and tried out.”

Self Esteem

Anna Lambe
Iqaluit, Nunavut

Anna shares her story about being bullied in school and learning how to overcome anxiety and build her self esteem.

Please note, this video contains talk about bullying and eating disorders. If you or anyone you know is dealing with issues discussed in this video, please know you are not alone and that there are people who are out there that are willing to listen and help.

Fireside Chat with Jesse Nobess

“I strongly encourage going, leaving the nest and going somewhere else to explore yourself and explore your surroundings, explore like your career choice or different ways to just learn the craft that you want to learn about. Because like when you’re in a different city, and it’s a very courageous move. It’s scary, but it teaches you a lot. Like to not be afraid and just to be fearless and go for it.”

Tips & Tricks

5 Ways to Build Lasting Self Esteem

4. Eliminate self-criticism and introduce self-compassion
Unfortunately, when our self-esteem is low, we are likely to damage it even further by being self-critical. Since our goal is to enhance our self-esteem, we need to substitute self-criticism (which is almost always entirely useless, even if it feels compelling) with self-compassion. Specifically, whenever your self-critical inner monologue kicks in, ask yourself what you would say to a dear friend if they were in your situation (we tend to be much more compassionate to friends than we are to ourselves) and direct those comments to yourself. Doing so will avoid damaging your self-esteem further with critical thoughts, and help build it up instead.
from: https://ideas.ted.com/5-ways-to-build-lasting-self-esteem/

Tools and Resources

Realizing Your Hidden Power

“Research has shown that over 80% of people struggle with varying levels of low self-esteem. Yet, having a solid sense of self-esteem has the chance to positively impact and powerfully transform every area of your life – from your relationships to your career, from your health and well-being, to your fulfillment and levels of success.
A deep feeling of self-esteem is something that needs to grow and be nurtured over time. The following will show you the things you can do right now to improve your self esteem. Then, you will realize your hidden potential and your self worth.”

Tips For Improving Your Self Esteem
  1. Be nice to yourself, stop your inner critic
  2. You do you, stop comparing yourself to others
  3. Get movin’
  4. Nobody’s perfect
  5. Remember that everyone makes mistakes
  6. Focus on what you can change
  7. Do what makes you happy
  8. Celebrate the small stuff
  9. Be a pal
  10. Surround yourself with a supportive squad
Examples of Affirmations

By definition, your affirmation will be personal to you, and specific to what you want to achieve or change, but the following examples may provide some inspiration:

  • I have plenty of creativity for this project.
  • My work will be recognized in a positive way by my boss and colleagues.
  • I can do this!
  • My team respects and values my opinion.
  • I am successful.
  • I am honest in my life, and my work.
  • I like completing tasks and projects on time.
  • I’m grateful for the job I have.
  • I enjoy working with my team.
  • I’m bringing a positive attitude to work every day.
  • I am excellent at what I do.
  • I am generous.
  • I am happy.
  • I will be a leader in my organization.
How to Build Your Self-Esteem

Try these steps:

  • Make a list of the stuff you’re good at. Can you draw or sing? Are you a good reader? Are you good at a sport? Do you tell a good joke? If you’re having trouble with your list, ask a parent or friend to help you with it.
  • Practice the things you do well. Think of ways you can do some of the things you’re good at every day.
  • Turn “I can’t” into “I can!” Does the little voice in your head tell you “I’m no good at this” or “I can’t do it”? Or “It’s too hard for me”? That’s you thinking badly about yourself. Decide to change your mind. Think, “I can give it a try,” “I can handle this.” Think, “I’ll give it my best.” Think, “I’ll ask someone to help me do this.”
  • Try your best. You can feel good about yourself when you give something a good try. When you try hard, your self-esteem will grow.
  • Spend time with people who love you. Do things you enjoy with your parent or family. It helps you know you belong. And that builds self-esteem.
  • Pitch in. Do nice things for parents. Help with meals, clean up, or feed the pet. When you do kind things, you feel good about yourself. You get to see that what you do means a lot.

How to build self esteem (a guide to realize your hidden power)

Future Pathways Navigator is a project of TakingITGlobal’s Connected North Program, with funding provided by RBC Foundation in support of RBC Future Launch.

Do you use your own inner tools or do you hand over that power to others?

Posted Feb 23, 2021

THE BASICS

  • What Is Self-Esteem?
  • Find counselling near me

How to build self esteem (a guide to realize your hidden power)

Years ago, I went on a reportedly gorgeous guided hike that was filled with killer views and exciting twists and turns. I set out with a great attitude. But for me (not a natural athlete by any means and scared of heights to boot) those twists and turns became far from exciting. They were terrifying.

I forced myself to breathe, as I channeled my inner mountain goat up and down the narrow, dusty trail, praying I wouldn’t fall to my death before sundown. I took no pictures — no smiling selfies with the mountains in the distance. I glanced up twice and briefly caught magnificence, but quickly directed my eyes back to that rocky path. Afterward, when questioned about the awesomeness of the experience, I could only laugh and mutter, “Literally, all I saw were my boots.”

I’ll never forget the experience of that day. It didn’t build my ego or act as an esteem booster. But I learned to ask a few more questions about the difficulty of my next trek.

Self-esteem is built on so many things; breadth of knowledge and seeing your place in the world as meaningful, challenging yourself and living out what you value, experiencing one’s self as making a difference, liking who you are, enjoying connection with others who are supportive and loving — and there are more.

Yet where is your sense of esteem or worth actually coming from?

Selfies might seem at first to indicate comfort with yourself. Taking selfies of what you ate, what you did, who you saw, where you were, what was funny or what was sad — they could easily appear as if you’re quite comfortable with yourself, enjoying the moment, and cataloging each one precisely.

But that’s not the way it often works. Multiple poses are sifted through until you get the “best” pic or video; filters and all kinds of add-ons are used to make it stand out. You’ve got to make it perfect. And then sadly, self-esteem doesn’t grow because you tried something, or you risked, or you challenged yourself. No. the source of your esteem can change from the experience itself to how much social media attention the post about the experience receives.

So, do you find your worth in the challenge of climbing the mountain or in savoring that others “like” the picture of you climbing the mountain? The first you have control over. The second — you don’t. With the first, you can be absorbed in the present. The second? Not only do you not have control over others’ reactions, but your heart and mind are focusing more on what may happen in the future — what others will have to say — rather than in the doing of it.

You may be willingly (but perhaps not intentionally) handing the tools you have to build your self-esteem over to others.

And that will backfire.

What’s the point?

Living in the present, for the present, and valuing what you’re creating builds true self-esteem.

Often, after someone’s divorced or a relationship has ended and they’re struggling with loneliness, I’ll ask them to watch a sunset. By themselves. Often, they’ll say, “Why would I want to do that?”

“Because it’s in the moment, when you’re seeing the colors, noting how relatively slowly or quickly the sun can seem to disappear, hearing how nature is responding to the end of daylight — all of that is your experience. And yours alone. And it’s through those unique experiences — that awareness that’s unique to you — that you build self-esteem.

“I watched a sunset. I thought it was beautiful. I enjoyed the time I spent doing that, by myself.”

All the “I’s” reflect feeling yourself very much in the present. Your present. Your hour and day.

Take a picture if you like. Post it wherever. No problem.

But don’t forget to notice you. And the importance of the moment because you lived it.

How to build self esteem (a guide to realize your hidden power)To some degree, most of us desire to improve our social status and self-esteem, but narcissists feel compelled to. A recent study concluded that it’s their constant concern. More than most people, they look to others for “self-definition and self-esteem regulation; inflated or deflated self-appraisal…,” according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Their self-esteem fluctuates between exaggerated inflation and deflation.

Narcissists are preoccupied with managing their self-esteem, image, appearance, and social rank. They see the world and themselves in terms of hierarchical status, where they’re superior and others are inferior. In their mind, their presumed superiority entitles them to special privileges that others don’t deserve. Their needs, opinions, and feelings count, while those of others don’t or only do to a lesser degree. They have grandiose fantasies extolling their greatness, wherein they’re the most attractive, talented, powerful, smartest, strongest, and wealthiest.

Narcissists’ Self-Esteem

Self-esteem reflects how we think about ourselves. In most tests, narcissists score high on self-esteem. Traditionally, the high self-esteem of a grandiose narcissist was considered a façade for underlying shame. Their insecurity was usually only revealed in therapeutic settings. Recent research challenges that theory. However, since grandiose narcissists have a distorted self-image, tests that rely on self-reporting cannot elicit beliefs and processes inferred from narcissistic attitudes and behaviors nor those observed in clinical settings.

For example, having grown up mocked and belittled by his father, according to Donald Trump’s niece speaking about him (and confirmed by his sister), lying was common. She claims it was “primarily a mode of self-aggrandizement meant to convince other people he was better than he actually was.” Narcissists have been shown to lie on tests. However, when researchers subjected them to a polygraph test where being found out would reflect poorly on them, they didn’t lie, and their self-esteem scores declined markedly.

People usually think of “high self-esteem” is optimal. However, esteem that relies on others’ opinion is not self-esteem, but “other-esteem.” I believe that unrealistic and other-dependent self-esteem is unhealthy and prefer to describe self-esteem as either healthy or impaired.

Ranking narcissists’ self-esteem high is misleading, due to the fact it’s generally inflated and unrelated to objective reality. Additionally, it’s fragile and easily deflated. Healthy self-esteem is stable and not so reactive to the environment. It’s non-hierarchical and not based on feeling superior to others. Nor is it associated with aggression and relationship problems, but the reverse. People with healthy self-esteem aren’t aggressive and have fewer relationship conflicts. They’re able to compromise and get along.

Tactics Narcissists Use to Maintain their Self-Image, Self-Esteem, and Power

The fact that narcissists brag, exaggerate, and lie about their greatness and self-esteem suggests that they’re trying to convince themselves to disguise hidden self-loathing and feelings of inferiority. Their hidden shame and insecurity drive their hypervigilance and behavior regarding their self-image, self-esteem, appearance, and power. They use a variety of tactics:

Hypervigilance

Narcissists are extremely sensitive to threats to their image and vigilantly attend to cues that could affect it in the eyes of others. They struggle to regulate their self-image through their thinking and behavior. This strategy requires constant effort.

Moment-to-moment, they scan other people and their surroundings to assess and elevate their rank.

  1. Selective environments and relationships

They select situations that will raise rather than lower their esteem. Thus, they seek public, hi-status, competitive, and hierarchical environments over intimate and egalitarian settings because they offer greater opportunities to gain status. They prefer acquiring multiple contacts, friends, and partners over developing existing relationships.

  1. Status evaluation

They perpetually evaluate their influence and the attention and praise they’re receiving relative to how their competitors are doing. They watch for any impediments to their aims.

Narcissists’ Self-Esteem Regulation

Once narcissists have assessed the environment and who they’re dealing with, they determine the best way to achieve status by either raising theirs or lowering that of other people. To regulate their self-esteem, they primarily utilize internal self-inflation and interpersonal skills.

Impression Management

Impression management is designed to influence others to gain both internal and external status and benefits, such as romantic partners, power, and money. They employ charm, using their wit, resources, talent, conversational skills, and self-promotion through boasting, embellishing, and lying to manage their impression. These strategies boost their self-image and raise their status with others.

These are most effective in the initial stages of a relationship or short-term interactions. Some researchers propose that the main difference between vulnerable and grandiose narcissists is that vulnerable or covert narcissists employ threat-oriented defenses and internal negative dialogues that don’t satisfy their needs for esteem and validation. In contrast, grandiose narcissists employ more mature reward-seeking strategies in pursuing acceptance and admiration.

Dominance

When self-promotion doesn’t work, grandiose narcissists’ resort to dominance. They’re excellent manipulators and use covert tactics as well as overt power tactics and narcissistic abuse, such as belittling, lying, bullying, attacking, criticizing, or raging at the person they’re trying to influence as well as derogating their competitors. They put down others to elevate themselves and also reate conflict that can lead to violence.

Grandiose narcissists sacrifice getting along to get ahead, while partners of narcissists sacrifice themselves to get along. They forego their status, rights, feelings, and needs to make the narcissist happy at their own expense, but the narcissist’s demands are never-ending. Their self-worth suffers as a result of this bargain and the narcissistic verbal abuse continues nonetheless. Find out about “Changing the Dynamics in Abusive Relationships.”

© Darlene Lancer 2020

Grapsas, S., Brummelman, E., Back, M.D., & Denissen, J. J. A. (2020). “The ‘Why’ and ‘How’ of Narcissism: A Process Model of Narcissistic Status Pursuit.” Perspectives on Psychological Science, Vol. 15(1) 150 –172. DOI: 0.1177/1745691619873350.

Trump, Mary (2020). Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man. (NY: Simon & Schuster).

3 IDEAS FROM ME

“Just have one good day. Then repeat.”

“Things that keep talented people from fulfilling their potential:

– Trying to please everyone
– Imitating the desires of others
– Chasing status without questioning why
– Playing superhero and trying to do it all alone
– Dividing your attention between too many projects”

“When I notice myself worrying about “what other people will think” I find I’m usually not worried about any single person’s opinion.

If I pick a specific person, I‘m rarely concerned about what they will think.

What I fear is the collective opinion in my head. It’s imaginary.”

2 QUOTES FROM OTHERS

Investor and entrepreneur Naval Ravikant on self-esteem:

“Self-esteem is just the reputation that you have with yourself. You’ll always know.”

Historian Barbara Tuchman on the power of books:

“Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill. Without books, the development of civilization would have been impossible. They are engines of change (as the poet said), windows on the world and lighthouses erected in the sea of time. They are companions, teachers, magicians, bankers of the treasures of the mind. Books are humanity in print.”

Source: The Book, Bulletin of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, Vol. 34, No. 2 (Nov. 1980)

1 QUESTION FOR YOU

Has the most important thing changed? Am I chasing an outdated target?

Until next week,

James Clear
Author of the million-copy bestseller, Atomic Habits
Creator of the Habit Journal

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