How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tactics

How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tactics

We’ve shared many articles dealing with the topic of dealing with a manipulator because we know that they can be amongst our midst any day, at any time.

Manipulators are easy to spot by how they make you feel. When you are in tune with your emotional state, you feel that tight-gut feeling that tells you to pay attention to the words and actions of the manipulative person you are dealing with.

As you read in a related article these are some classic signs that you’re dealing with a manipulator:

* Manipulators put their needs before yours

* Manipulators put their feelings before yours

* Manipulators tell you what you need to do

* Manipulators thrive on drama and high-emotions

* Manipulators want you to feel bad about yourself
Here are some concrete comebacks to use for the next time you feel yourself being manipulated.

How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tactics

9 Comebacks for Dealing With A Manipulator

1. ‘I need you to ___.’

‘I need you to stop insulting me and speak with kindness.’

‘I need you to speak to me calmly.’

‘I need you to take care of that yourself.’

When you begin by saying ‘I need’ to a manipulator, it is a powerful rejection of their tactics. You are simultaneously saying ‘No’ to whatever the manipulator wants and you are replacing it with something that you want instead.

‘No’ is a powerful word if you are able to use it alone. The problem is that ‘No’ is often followed by the reason that you are saying ‘No.’ You do not need to justify your ‘No’ to a manipulator.

3. ‘What is best for me right now is ___.’

This is another way to say what your needs are and reject the manipulator. When dealing with a manipulator, the best comeback is to focus on your own needs. You reject what the manipulator needs and replace it with your own needs.

4. ‘I reject your assessment of my emotional state.’

A manipulator will usually try to tell you how you feel. Do not allow them to dictate your emotions. You are in control of your emotional response.

The tactic of telling you how you feel is used by a manipulator to get you to respond defensively with anger, fear or sadness. You always have a choice to be positive, happy and joyful, even when you are dealing with a manipulative person.

5. ‘I am a valuable person.’

Manipulators feed on people with low self-esteem. The problem is that a manipulator also has low self-esteem so they will seek out others who they can control by attempting to reduce their self-worth with insults.

If you are able to stay strong in the face of a manipulator by validating your own self-worth, you show them that you cannot be controlled.

6. ‘You need to calm your emotional state before I will talk with you.’

Another good statement is ‘Let’s take some time so that our emotions can cool down before we try to solve this.’ Your goal is to reduce the anger/fear/sadness that is coming from the manipulator before you engage with them.

As we mentioned in 8 Signs Your Partner is Trying to Control You, someone who thrives on drama will start a confrontation with an extreme emotional state. Control the desire to respond to an attack with an attack and your manipulator will be deflated by your comeback.

7. ‘Your behavior is unacceptable.’

This statement is the truth. If you feel manipulated, then someone is violating your boundaries. That kind of behavior is unacceptable. You may recall that we talked about How to Spot a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing in a previous article. Manipulators are like predators feeding on easy prey.

8. ‘You must be feeling pretty low to lash out at me that way. Do you want to talk about your emotions?”

This is one of the most supportive things you can say to a manipulator. The statement demonstrates your recognition of their anger/sadness/fear and the question demonstrates your openness to helping them.

Low self-esteem is a classic sign of a narcissistic personality. Read our article 5 Signs You’re in a Relationship With a Narcissist for more information on handling these people.

9. Say nothing at all.

Manipulators thrive on drama. If they can get you worked up and angry/fearful/sad, they think they have won. Stay calm, manage your breathing, and focus on your body. Feel the sensation of tightness in your chest, shoulders, neck and stomach. Try to relax those muscles as you make eye contact with your manipulator.

This can be very difficult for some people. Facing an angry person with calmness is infuriating for the manipulator. They may lash out with even more anger. Resist the urge to engage with them. Your manipulator will quickly learn that they are not able to change your emotions and they will move on to another target that is easier.

Research finds that rejection affects intelligence, reason, and more.

How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tactics

We know that rejection really hurts, but it can also inflict damage to our psychological well-being that goes beyond emotional pain. Here are 10 lesser known facts that describe the effects rejection has on our emotions, thinking, and behavior.

Let’s begin by examining why rejection hurts as much as it does:

1. Rejection piggybacks on physical pain pathways in the brain. fMRI studies show that the same areas of the brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. This is why rejection hurts so much (neurologically speaking). In fact our brains respond so similarly to rejection and physical pain that…

2. Tylenol reduces the emotional pain rejection elicits. In a study testing the hypothesis that rejection mimics physical pain, researchers gave some participants acetaminophen (Tylenol) before asking them to recall a painful rejection experience. The people who received Tylenol reported significantly less emotional pain than subjects who took a sugar pill. Psychologists assume that the reason for the strong link between rejection and physical pain is that…

3. Rejection served a vital function in our evolutionary past. In our hunter/gatherer past, being ostracized from our tribes was akin to a death sentence, as we were unlikely to survive for long alone. Evolutionary psychologists assume the brain developed an early warning system to alert us when we were at risk for ostracism. Because it was so important to get our attention, those who experienced rejection as more painful (i.e., because rejection mimicked physical pain in their brain) gained an evolutionary advantage—they were more likely to correct their behavior and consequently, more likely to remain in the tribe. Which probably also explains why…

4. We can relive and re-experience social pain more vividly than we can physical pain. Try recalling an experience in which you felt significant physical pain and your brain pathways will respond, “Meh.” In other words, that memory alone won’t elicit physical pain. But try reliving a painful rejection (actually, don’t—just take my word for it), and you will be flooded with many of the same feelings you had at the time (and your brain will respond much as it did at the time, too). Our brain prioritizes rejection experiences because we are social animals who live in “tribes.” This leads to an aspect about rejection we often overlook…

5. Rejection destabilizes our “Need to Belong.” We all have a fundamental need to belong to a group. When we get rejected, this need becomes destabilized and the disconnection we feel adds to our emotional pain. Reconnecting with those who love us, or reaching out to members of groups to which we feel strong affinity and who value and accept us, has been found to soothe emotional pain after a rejection. Feeling alone and disconnected after a rejection, however, has an often overlooked impact on our behavior…

6. Rejection creates surges of anger and aggression. In 2001, the Surgeon General of the U.S. issued a report stating that rejection was a greater risk for adolescent violence than drugs, poverty, or gang membership. Countless studies have demonstrated that even mild rejections lead people to take out their aggression on innocent bystanders. School shootings, violence against women, and fired workers going “postal” are other examples of the strong link between rejection and aggression. However, much of that aggression elicited by rejection is also turned inward…

7. Rejections send us on a mission to seek and destroy our self-esteem. We often respond to romantic rejections by finding fault in ourselves, bemoaning all our inadequacies, kicking ourselves when we’re already down, and smacking our self-esteem into a pulp. Most romantic rejections are a matter of poor fit and a lack of chemistry, incompatible lifestyles, wanting different things at different times, or other such issues of mutual dynamics. Blaming ourselves and attacking our self-worth only deepens the emotional pain we feel and makes it harder for us to recover emotionally. But before you rush to blame yourself for. blaming yourself, keep in mind the fact that…

8. Rejection temporarily lowers our IQ. Being asked to recall a recent rejection experience and relive the experience was enough to cause people to score significantly lower on subsequent IQ tests, tests of short-term memory, and tests of decision making. Indeed, when we are reeling from a painful rejection, thinking clearly is just not that easy. This explains why…

9. Rejection does not respond to reason. Participants were put through an experiment in which they were rejected by strangers. The experiment was rigged—the “strangers” were confederates of the researchers. Surprisingly, though, even being told that the “strangers” who had “rejected” them did not actually reject them did little to ease the emotional pain participants felt. Even being told that the strangers belonged to a group they despised such as the KKK did little to soothe people’s hurt feelings. Still, the news is not all bad, because…

10. There are ways to treat the psychological wounds rejection inflicts. It is possible to treat the emotional pain rejection elicits and to prevent the psychological, emotional, cognitive, and relationship fallouts that occur in its aftermath. To do so effectively we must address each of our psychological wounds (i.e., soothe our emotional pain, reduce our anger and aggression, protect our self-esteem, and stabilize our need to belong).

For more about treating the psychological wounds rejection inflicts, see Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts.

See also:

Follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch

Research finds that rejection affects intelligence, reason, and more.

How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tactics

We know that rejection really hurts, but it can also inflict damage to our psychological well-being that goes beyond emotional pain. Here are 10 lesser known facts that describe the effects rejection has on our emotions, thinking, and behavior.

Let’s begin by examining why rejection hurts as much as it does:

1. Rejection piggybacks on physical pain pathways in the brain. fMRI studies show that the same areas of the brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. This is why rejection hurts so much (neurologically speaking). In fact our brains respond so similarly to rejection and physical pain that…

2. Tylenol reduces the emotional pain rejection elicits. In a study testing the hypothesis that rejection mimics physical pain, researchers gave some participants acetaminophen (Tylenol) before asking them to recall a painful rejection experience. The people who received Tylenol reported significantly less emotional pain than subjects who took a sugar pill. Psychologists assume that the reason for the strong link between rejection and physical pain is that…

3. Rejection served a vital function in our evolutionary past. In our hunter/gatherer past, being ostracized from our tribes was akin to a death sentence, as we were unlikely to survive for long alone. Evolutionary psychologists assume the brain developed an early warning system to alert us when we were at risk for ostracism. Because it was so important to get our attention, those who experienced rejection as more painful (i.e., because rejection mimicked physical pain in their brain) gained an evolutionary advantage—they were more likely to correct their behavior and consequently, more likely to remain in the tribe. Which probably also explains why…

4. We can relive and re-experience social pain more vividly than we can physical pain. Try recalling an experience in which you felt significant physical pain and your brain pathways will respond, “Meh.” In other words, that memory alone won’t elicit physical pain. But try reliving a painful rejection (actually, don’t—just take my word for it), and you will be flooded with many of the same feelings you had at the time (and your brain will respond much as it did at the time, too). Our brain prioritizes rejection experiences because we are social animals who live in “tribes.” This leads to an aspect about rejection we often overlook…

5. Rejection destabilizes our “Need to Belong.” We all have a fundamental need to belong to a group. When we get rejected, this need becomes destabilized and the disconnection we feel adds to our emotional pain. Reconnecting with those who love us, or reaching out to members of groups to which we feel strong affinity and who value and accept us, has been found to soothe emotional pain after a rejection. Feeling alone and disconnected after a rejection, however, has an often overlooked impact on our behavior…

6. Rejection creates surges of anger and aggression. In 2001, the Surgeon General of the U.S. issued a report stating that rejection was a greater risk for adolescent violence than drugs, poverty, or gang membership. Countless studies have demonstrated that even mild rejections lead people to take out their aggression on innocent bystanders. School shootings, violence against women, and fired workers going “postal” are other examples of the strong link between rejection and aggression. However, much of that aggression elicited by rejection is also turned inward…

7. Rejections send us on a mission to seek and destroy our self-esteem. We often respond to romantic rejections by finding fault in ourselves, bemoaning all our inadequacies, kicking ourselves when we’re already down, and smacking our self-esteem into a pulp. Most romantic rejections are a matter of poor fit and a lack of chemistry, incompatible lifestyles, wanting different things at different times, or other such issues of mutual dynamics. Blaming ourselves and attacking our self-worth only deepens the emotional pain we feel and makes it harder for us to recover emotionally. But before you rush to blame yourself for. blaming yourself, keep in mind the fact that…

8. Rejection temporarily lowers our IQ. Being asked to recall a recent rejection experience and relive the experience was enough to cause people to score significantly lower on subsequent IQ tests, tests of short-term memory, and tests of decision making. Indeed, when we are reeling from a painful rejection, thinking clearly is just not that easy. This explains why…

9. Rejection does not respond to reason. Participants were put through an experiment in which they were rejected by strangers. The experiment was rigged—the “strangers” were confederates of the researchers. Surprisingly, though, even being told that the “strangers” who had “rejected” them did not actually reject them did little to ease the emotional pain participants felt. Even being told that the strangers belonged to a group they despised such as the KKK did little to soothe people’s hurt feelings. Still, the news is not all bad, because…

10. There are ways to treat the psychological wounds rejection inflicts. It is possible to treat the emotional pain rejection elicits and to prevent the psychological, emotional, cognitive, and relationship fallouts that occur in its aftermath. To do so effectively we must address each of our psychological wounds (i.e., soothe our emotional pain, reduce our anger and aggression, protect our self-esteem, and stabilize our need to belong).

For more about treating the psychological wounds rejection inflicts, see Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts.

See also:

Follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch

As most of us already know, a bad boss is a headache and can be the source of misery and frustration at work. But what’s worse than a bad boss? A boss who doesn’t support you.

Here’s why: Bad bosses are blatantly terrible. Whether it’s their lack of constructive feedback, their condescending attitude, or their micromanaging tactics, it’s fairly obvious when you’re working with a bad manager.

But, it’s a lot harder to recognize a boss who doesn’t support your career growth or professional development because those types of conversations typically happen when you’re not in the room.

A boss who doesn’t support you could deny you the chance to work on innovative or high-profile projects and recommend someone else instead. She could exclude you from important client meetings you need to attend to perform your job better. She could, rather than advocate for why you deserve a raise or promotion, give reasons as to why you’re not ready for such change.

A boss who doesn’t support you could also be the reason why you’re still doing the same type of work you were doing three years ago when you started the position, while your colleagues continue to advance.

In the end, an unsupportive boss halts your growth and hinders your potential. So how do you deal with a boss of this caliber? Here are 4 steps to take to navigate the situation, while still maintaining your sanity and peace of mind.

STEP 1: Check yourself.

It could be that your boss isn’t advocating for you or helping you get to the next level because you’re truly not ready yet. It may have nothing to do with your boss secretly hating you and may have everything to do with you. So, before you conclude that your boss is out to stunt your growth, take an in-depth inventory of your work ethic.

What do you bring to the table at work? What contributions have you made as a member of your team and company? What areas have you constantly been told you need to improve, and what steps have you taken to make such improvements? Do you have a clear understanding of your manager’s expectations of you and, more importantly, are you meeting them?

Once you take a clear honest look at your performance at work and can confidently say that you’re killing it and doing everything you can to meet and exceed expectations, then it’s safe to say your boss is the culprit and it’s time to move to the next step.

STEP 2: Exude excellence consistently.

Excellence cannot be denied, and brilliant work is incredibly hard to ignore. So, you must continue to do good work and set a standard for yourself to always exceed expectations.

If you’re not already, become known as the person who always gets things done and who’s ready to tackle new challenges.

When possible, be proactive about identifying new trends, methods, opportunities and processes that will help you do your job better. Even if you’re stuck with mundane menial tasks, how can you make those tasks better? How can you add value to your team, clients, products and even your manager?

At this stage, it’s not about doing good work to gain approval from your manager, it’s about creating a reputation for yourself that speaks for you. When you make it your mantra to exude excellence, you’ll build a track record that others will start to notice.

STEP 3: Find a new support system.

There’s no sense of crying over spilled milk; you cannot convince people to love you, and you shouldn’t have to convince others to support you or advocate for you. So rather than exert anymore energy trying to please your boss, look around your organization and find new allies.

Allies can come in all shapes and forms at work, but the most powerful allies you need in this situation are those who have a voice and influence at the company. When I had a boss who didn’t support me at work, I took it upon myself to build relationships with other executives and senior leaders who could support me and who were willing to bring up my name when it mattered.

Set up lunch meetings to get to know your colleagues better and regularly raise your hand to help other teams and managers tackle problems you know you can solve. When you’re dealing with a boss who doesn’t support you, it’s not enough to just do good work, you must also make sure that there are other people in your corner who can vouch for the good work you do.

STEP 4: Prepare your exit.

Exuding excellence and cultivating a new support system at work are both great ways to deal with a boss who doesn’t support you. They may be the only strategies you need to overcome the dynamics between you and your boss, especially when you love what you do and where you work.

However, if your situation with your boss is keeping you stagnant in your career or affecting other areas of your life, including your self-esteem, health or happiness, it’s not worth it. At the end of the day, you don’t have to settle for working with a boss who doesn’t want to see you progress or succeed.

There are many more companies and bosses who would be happy to have you on their team, and it’s in your best interest to find them sooner, rather than later.

Adunola Adeshola coaches high-achievers on how to take their careers to the next level and secure the positions they’ve been chasing. Grab her free guide.

If you have clients who are intentionally exploited by their spouses; endure regular insults and rejection, alternating with affirmation; and feel manipulated into doing or saying something out of character, then they might be experiencing abuse.

Abuse is not just physical. There are many other forms of abuse, such as sexual, financial, emotional, mental, and verbal. While some of the other forms of abuse are obvious, mental abuse by a narcissist can be difficult to spot.

It starts simply with a casual comment about anything: color of the wall, dishes in the sink, or the car needing maintenance. The remark is taken out of context by the narcissist to mean that their spouse disapproves of them in some way. She tries to explain that wasnt her intention, but they are off on a tirade, which ends in your client feeling like she is losing her mind.

How did this happen? Here are several favorite narcissistic mental abuse tactics:

  1. Rage This is a fit of intense, furious anger that comes out of nowhere, usually over nothing (remember the wire hanger scene from the movie Mommie Dearest). It startles and shocks the victim into compliance or silence.
  2. GaslightingNarcissistic mental abusers lie about the past, making their victim doubt her memory, perception, and sanity. They claim and give evidence of her past wrong behavior further causing doubt. She might even begin to question what she said a minute ago.
  3. The Stare This is an intense stare with no feeling behind it. It is designed to scare a victim into submission and is frequently mixed with the silent treatment.
  4. Silent Treatment Narcissists punish by ignoring. Then they let their victim off the hook by demanding an apology even though she isnt to blame. This is to modify her behavior. They also have a history of cutting others out of their life permanently over small things.
  5. Projection They dump their issues onto their victim as if she were the one doing it. For instance, narcissistic mental abusers may accuse their spouse of lying when they have lied. Or they make her feel guilty when he is really guilty. This creates confusion.
  6. Twisting When narcissistic spouses are confronted, they will twist it around to blame their victims for their actions. They will not accept responsibility for their behavior and insist that their victim apologizes to them.
  7. Manipulation A favorite manipulation tactic is for the narcissist to make their spouse fear the worst, such as abandonment, infidelity, or rejection. Then they refute it and ask her for something she normally would reply with No. This is a control tactic to get her to agree to do something she wouldnt.
  8. Victim Card When all else fails, the narcissist resorts to playing the victim card. This is designed to gain sympathy and further control behavior.

You can teach your clients to memorize these maneuvers, remain silent when they are being used, and end the conversation as soon as possible. This will keep them from being a victim of mental abuse.

Rejection should not discourage you, nor should it end your dreams. If you pay attention, you can actually succeed in spite of rejection.

Rejection is a difficult pill to swallow. For entrepreneurs, it can make or break you. A business plan, a loan, a partnership rejection – you name it.

If you’re in the business of being a business, you’re sure to face it. Yet, how you react to a rebuff, though, is the key to becoming a successful entrepreneur.

As an entrepreneur myself, I’ve dealt with plenty of rejection over 10 years in business. I have heard a lot more noes than yeses, especially early on. While I was humiliated at the time, I now see that each rejection actually helped shape my success today.

Here are four tips to help you better handle rejection as an entrepreneur.

1. Don’t take it personally

Entrepreneurs often make the mistake of taking rejection personally. We all have feelings, after all. However, just because your idea was shot down or a partnership was rejected, it isn’t a reflection of you.

How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tacticsPhoto: © Boggy, YFS Magazine

Don’t let rejections get to you. Instead, look at the rejection for purely what it is: Was it a bad business plan, the wrong partnership terms, or wrong timing? Rather than blame yourself, assess what the real reasons for rejection, objectively.

Many of my early rejections would have put me out of business. Thankfully, I didn’t let it get to me. I was able to overcome minor setbacks with even better outcomes.

2. Learn from rejection

Chalk it up to an overwhelming sense of pride, but entrepreneurs can often sit down in a meeting and think everyone else is wrong. While there may be some truth to that, it’s important to learn from every rejection. If your product was rejected for a particular reason, take a second look and see if you can improve upon your idea.

I’ve made many pivots thanks to rejection. As we pay attention to feedback about what people really want, we’ve been able to tailor our solutions to meet customers needs. It’s a win-win situation.

3. Use it to educate customers

Oftentimes when you face market rejection it is because you haven’t thoroughly educated your audience. Take feedback and use it as a means to educate the public or customers about your business.

How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tacticsPhoto: © Boggy, YFS Magazine

For instance, we compile every rebuff and use them to educate ourselves. We create a variety of content to address common points and use it to explain to potential prospects why we’re a good partner.

4. Let it guide next steps

If you constantly hear “no” from the same crowd, it’s possible that you’re trying to sell to the wrong people. Take a second look at who has rejected you. Chances are you might be targeting the wrong audience.

When I first started my business, I thought my customers would be designers and creatives. I soon realized the people who really needed my help were business owners with a lack of resources to create an impactful brand.

Rejection is hard. When you’re running a business and an entire team is dependent on your success, it’s even more stressful. As entrepreneurs we carry a heavy load. Rejection should not discourage you, nor should it end your dreams. If you pay attention, you can actually succeed in spite of rejection.

This article has been edited.

As the founder and CEO of OneIMS and Clickx, Solomon Thimothy has built his career around his passion for helping other businesses grow an online presence and thrive in the digital world. Solomon works with clients big and small to develop uniquely customized and highly-effective marketing strategies that meet every company’s individual goals. Connect with @sthimothy on Twitter.

How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tactics

6 Powerful Tactics That Will Help You Delegate More Effectively

“I don’t delegate, because it takes longer to delegate the task than just do it myself.”

“If I want it done right, I’d better do it myself.”

Have you ever had these thoughts? Haven’t we all? I’ve had them, too. They’re valid thoughts.

How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tactics

The first couple of times you trust someone else to do something they’ve never done, of course, it’ll take them longer…and it probably won’t be done as well as if you had done it yourself.

But to move ahead in your career and to make the most of your time, you need to know how to delegate successfully.

This will help you free up your time to move onto new, more important things. That’s how you move up the ranks.

The ironic thing is that if you can’t delegate, you could potentially be roadblocking yourself. You know that saying “Get out of your own way?” I think that quote was written for someone who couldn’t delegate.

Here are 6 powerful delegation lessons I’ve learned that will save you lots of time and frustration.
1) Try to ditch any perfectionist or micromanaging genes you have.

There are two types of delegators. The first type might say, “You’re free to get to the end result we’ve discussed. As long as you get there on time and within budget, I’m happy.”

These are the kind of delegators people like.

The other type will hold your hand and walk you step by step through everything that needs to be done. They’ll be thinking, “I want it done my specific way, because my way is the best way, and I am helping you by teaching you my way.”

These are the kind of delegates people hate.

Which one do you want to be?

How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tactics

2) Ask yourself what you want the outcome to look like (before delegating).

Be as clear and as specific as possible with describing the end result you want.

What does successful completion of the project mean to you?

How will you know that this project has been completed successfully? That’s the ticket.

If you can describe the outcome or end goal so that there is no mistake about it, the HOW comes a lot easier.

3) Don’t be that person.

You know anyone who’s an information hogger? The person who feels good when only they know all the things? No one likes that person.

Share as much information as you can freely, especially the WHY.

Why is the project important?

Communicating the why has a huge impact on how the project gets done and saves you a lot of time answering questions later down the line.

How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tactics

4) Who needs to know?

Take a moment to consider who it is that the delegatee can go to for help, questions, information, or resources. Make sure to talk to these people and give them a heads up.

For example, “Bill is working on x project and he may need x, y, or z.”

How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tactics

5) Once you’ve passed on a task, you’re not quite done.

A lot of people think that they’re done once they’ve handed something off and slapped on a deadline.

They expect a perfect finished product on their desk, and when they don’t get what they expected, they get angry.

You will probably bypass that frustration because you’re reading this post, and by now, you know that delegation isn’t just a one-and-done thing.

However, one last suggestion is to schedule check-in points along the way. This is a foolproof way to make sure everything is on track and crystal clear throughout the whole delegation process.

6) What to do when you’re actually done:

This is perhaps the most important one of all. If a delegatee does a good job, recognize them!

How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tactics

Give them credit in front of coworkers, senior managers, etc. – even though we both know you’re the one who made it all happen by being a kick-ass delegator.

You deserve a pat on the back, too.

If the whole thing went well, make sure they know you’re pleased. After all, how will you know you delegated well?

A good unit of measure for you will be whether that person wants to do more work for you.

Feeling overwhelmed sucks, particularly when there’s no end in sight. Delegation is the cure to overwhelm. Delegating like a rock star will have a dramatic affect on your entire life. Just imagine everything progressing on track like a well-oiled machine.

Imagine waking up tomorrow morning looking forward to seeing what your minions have gotten done.

You’ll start to delegate with confidence and clarity, and before you know it, it’ll be second nature!

How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tactics

Putting yourself out there can be intimidating. After all, what will people say? No one likes to be told they’ve done something wrong, but in order to grow, it’s important to push past the fear of negative feedback and take action anyway. Criticism is something that comes along with the job…and it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You have the power to do something great with it, and inspire those around you to do the same.

I have clients that come to me with self-imposed limiting beliefs all the time. They’re afraid to take action, to take on more responsibility, to start their own business, to make a career switch . Oftentimes they’re worried that they aren’t good enough , and that they will be perceived in a negative light. As a career coach, I help them see that these fears are only holding them back from pursuing greatness. It’s OK for someone to give feedback – positive or negative; you may be all the better for it.

Here are four tips for handling criticism at work. Implement these the next time someone comes to you with feedback, and start to chip away at those fears inside your head.

1. Listen and keep an open mind. Actively listen to the feedback and check your ego at the door. Assume the intentions of the other person are good, and hear them out. Take a deep breath if you need to; it’ll calm you down. Usually, someone will come to you with the intention of helping you learn something new or improving in an area. If you’re unclear on the feedback, be sure to ask questions or reframe it back to them. This is not a time for miscommunication. It’s important that you understand it completely and receive the feedback well.

2. See what you can learn. You already know that no one is perfect, so keep that in mind and seek out personal improvement. Take some time to process the information. What can you learn from what was just delivered to you? Is there something there that will help you improve personally or professionally? Do not bury your head in the sand and assume that you’d be better off ignoring the advice. Your natural instinct is to protect yourself and run away, but remember. This is the office — not a life or death situation.

3. Don’t take it personally. Assume the other person isn’t out to harm you. If your instinct is that they are personally attacking you, take a step back and ask yourself what’s really going on. Oftentimes, what we see in another person is a reflection of something that we are afraid to see in ourselves . If it feels like the person giving you the feedback is a “know-it-all”, contemplate if you’ve ever worried that someone has that same perception of you. Notice where you feel triggered and try to identify the root cause. Did something happen in the past that is bringing up these negative emotions.

Note: If it turns out that the person is being overly negative, aggressive, or really is personally attacking you, be sure to remove yourself from the situation ASAP. This is unprofessional, and no one should ever put up with a workplace bully. If it persists, take it up with HR or your supervisor.

4. Say thank you. Be gracious for the feedback you’ve received, no matter how tough it may have been to hear it, and thank the other person. Surprise them with your positive attitude ! Practicing gratitude is something you should already be incorporating in your daily life. Incorporating mindfulness at work can help you deal with difficult situations in a new light.

Criticism is something that everyone needs to deal with. Make it more tolerable by following the tips above. Instead of ignoring the feedback or putting up a fight, keep an open mind and see what you can learn. The way you handle feedback is a direct path to how your colleagues will respect and receive you moving forward. Keep it positive and show them that you are professional.

How to deal with rejection at work 9 powerful tactics

January 23, 2016 12:00 AM EST | 5 min read

Rejection is painful. Whether it comes from a potential spouse, a potential employer, or your boss who you were trying to sell a proposition to, rejection has the power to take away your high spirits and happiness.

What’s even worse is when rejection comes from the people who you hold dearest to you. However, unfortunately, rejection can come from anyone, even our families. As much as we’d like to think that people who truly love us wouldn’t reject us, it happens and hurts us in ways we can’t imagine.

Overcoming rejection can be difficult when you feel too dejected to do anything. This article aims to motivate you to snap out of that low-spiritedness you might be feeling and act in a way that heals your heart so you can move forward.

Figure out what caused the problem

For children who feel like they have been rejected all their lives, it’s important to figure out what caused the problem. Perhaps, it has to do with something that happened when they were too young to know what went on. By noticing someone’s words and actions, you might be able to figure out where the problem lies.

Once you know what the problem is or always has been, you can find ways to deal with it constructively before you move on to other solutions.

For instance, a child could have always been rejected by his father because his mother had passed away during child birth. The father may have always held the child responsible for what happened and found it as a way to deal with his sorrow. Once the child realizes this, he could take steps to grow closer to the one and only parent he has left and make him realize that a misfortune was also met with a blessing (a new familial relationship).

Talk it out

Perhaps, you already know what went wrong and you feel like your viewpoint needs to be shared. In this case, the easiest way to deal with the issue is to talk it out. Sit with the one who has been rejecting you and (nicely) discuss what seems to be the root of the problem. If you feel guilty for something, apologize humbly. Don’t be afraid to cry, because it will release your stress and allow you to open up. This calm and composed approach will likely result in that person reacting in the same way: apologizing and talking it out is a mature way.

Give it some time

Sometimes, emotional levels (such as anger, frustration, and resentment) are so high that it is better not to discuss anything until things have mellowed down a bit. In this scenario it’s best to do what they say: “let the pain heal with time”. If the rejection period is really tough, you might have to move out and stay over at the relative’s, neighbors, or friend’s house before things can be sorted out. If your family truly cares for you despite your choices or mistakes, they will come around eventually and invite you to their house again to make things better.

Find a way to compromise

Very often, rejection can be a result of decision or choice you’re making that your family doesn’t particularly approve of. For example, you could be thinking about getting a degree in business, but your parents might want you to follow family tradition and get a degree in law. If there’s a way you could settle the opposing aspirations, go for it! For example, you could opt for a degree in Business Law.

Seek a family counselor

There’s no harm in involving a third party, particularly someone who would not see the problem in a biased way. An arbitrator could level out both points of view and present possible resolutions. If you’re not comfortable with a family counselor, you may try and involve a trustworthy relative who can try to make things work out.

Walk out

This is going to be the hardest decision to make, and one that needs considerable thought and contemplation before it is reached. Sometimes, your choices in life can completely set you apart from what your family. For example, you may choose to adopt another religion or live in a way that your family completely disapproves of.

If time, talks, counseling and everything else has been tried and a consensus can’t be reached, you may have to think about moving out and only visiting them until they are ready to do so. Sometimes, this is the only way to avoid further dispute, aggression, and negative feelings being boiled up in the family.

Finally, remember that the key to a happy life is always being happy with your own self, regardless of what others may think—even your family! If you think you are right, cheer up and live your life. Avoid those who don’t care about your happiness!