How to discover who you are and then how to behave like it

How to discover who you are and then how to behave like it

Everyone says that you should just ‘be yourself’ but what does that even mean? What does being yourself really feel like?

The only way to know how to be yourself, is to understand who you are at your deepest, core level.

Who you are is not your job, your name or the labels you have given yourself through the years. Who you are is underneath all of that, and here is how to discover it:

1.) What Makes You Feel Most Alive?

Think for a moment about all the things you LOVE to do. Start making a list and include everything from “sleeping” to “watching classic Disney movies”. Keep asking yourself-‘when do I feel most alive?’ and write down what ever pops into your mind. Expand your answers from “things” into actions or feelings- for example: “I feel most alive watching my baby sleep” etc etc.

Understanding what you love to do, or what makes you feel most alive is crucial in understanding how you align with your essence, which of course is- Universal Love.

2.) What Are Your Talents?

What natural talents were you born with? We all have them, it may just take a little digging to find them. Perhaps you are very good at using your hands, perhaps you are very good at using your mind or perhaps you are a sudoku master. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s good enough, just write it down. Another good way to discover your talents is asking yourself -what do I like to learn about? And what do my friends ‘know’ me for?

3.) What is Your Potential?

Understanding your potential starts from understanding that we are all energy, and our energy is vibrating at various frequencies depending on our thoughts.

Our thoughts however, are not just what we think consciously, they are also our subconscious patterns developed from early childhood and our karmic patterns which were inherited before birth

This means that our potential is relative to what we think our potential is-

“Whether you think you can, or think you can’t you are right”- Henry Ford

But, there are also certain elements of our potential that cannot be changed or controlled and this is expressed through our karmic or Universal energy- the energy we were born with.

Our karmic energy is our destiny, it is the energy that we came to planet earth with, it’s the energy we have inherited from past lives, our family history, and the Universe.

Your potential is all around you in the present moment and understanding it is truly a life long process. You can however, begin discovering it through meditation, your own intuitive work or through an intuitive astrology reading.

4.) What is Your Purpose?

If you have followed the above steps, discovering your purpose will begin to naturally unfold.

But what you will probably discover if you really start living the above steps is that we don’t really have a direct purpose at all. Our purpose is simply to be true to ourselves and by being true to ourselves, we naturally begin climbing the path of our destiny.

We absolutely have free will and choice in this life, but there are certain factors that are pre-determined and there are certain energies or events that unfold in our lives for a reason. Finding purpose in all of this is up to you.

It is our purpose to find purpose. It is our purpose to simply align with who we are, what we love to do, our talents and our potential, and then live.

“You are the Universe expressing itself as human”- Eckhart Tolle

How to discover who you are and then how to behave like it

Sharing is caring!

Have you ever given much thought to, who you really are? I mean, outside of being a mom, or daughter, friend, employee/employer?

When that person at the party says, “So tell me about yourself.” What do you say?

“Oh, I’ve been married for twenty years, and have two kids. My youngest is starting high school this fall. I work at “insert place of employment here.”

Is THAT who you are? That answer describes your relationship to your family, and where you spend most of your time to bring in income. And while this does tell something about you, It does NOT tell very much about who YOU are!

I was presented with this years ago, and it had me bumfuzzled. (Is bumfuzzled a word?) But really, outside of my relationships and job, I couldn’t answer the question. It was frustrating to come up with a real answer, so I knew I had to explore it.

People can walk about for years lost to who they truly are. Some of us can’t even say what makes us really happy. “Well, I uh, I guess I like to go to the movies.”
“What kind of movies?”

“Uh, I don’t know, just whatever is playing. Chick flicks – I like chick flicks I guess.”

If this sounds a lot or even a little like you, I want to invite you to get to know yourself.

TO BEGIN THE PROCESS OF DISCOVERING WHO YOU REALLY ARE, START WITH THESE 7 POWERFUL STEPS.

1 – Dedicate Time To Getting To Know Yourself

Discovering who you really are takes time. You are going to have to go on a search. A search for YOU! What you like, what you don’t. Why you believe the things you do, and if they are really YOUR thoughts, or the thoughts culture has handed you.

It can be a lengthy process, so plan to set aside some real time to ask some really important questions. Which brings us to the next step.

2 – Ask Some Really Hard Questions

Discovering who you really are takes lots and lots of really tough questions. These aren’t your typical yes or no questions, but real, meaty, thought provoking questions.

Questions like, Why don’t I do more of the things I love? Or, If I could do anything, and time or money wasn’t an issue, what would it be? Or I’ve always said I was a klutz. Where did that come from? And a hundred other ones just like those.

This will get your mind working and thinking about what makes you tick. The more questions you ask, the more you will learn about yourself.

3 – Get a Journal

I strongly encourage you to buy a journal to record all of these really hard questions. They are important and need an actual place to land. You don’t even have to have an answer YET, but just write the questions.

Our thoughts are often a jumbled up mess. We are all over the place with life’s little issues, like what’s for dinner, or what time is this appointment and how am I going to take care of that problem. It is when we slow down and actually write our thoughts down, that we will have clarity.

Clarity, or getting really clear with an issue is the beginning of problem solving. You can’t solve a problem without being aware of what you’re trying to solve. Journaling helps to bring clarity to our thoughts. So get that journal and start writing! To read more about journaling, see my post on it HERE.

4 – Reflect

Once you’ve spent some time writing your thoughts and coming up with those really tough questions, reflect on them. Don’t just write something to move to the next question, really think about it and reflect on it. The answers may not come at once, but keep digging and

The answers may not come at once, but keep digging and ploughing through them. If you get stuck, try asking the question in a different way. Example – instead of, “What brought me to this point in my life?” ask, “When did I first get off track?”

The answer to one question will likely lead to more questions, but the more you answer, the better off you’ll be.

How to discover who you are and then how to behave like it

5 – Be Patient And Forgiving With Yourself

Discovering who you really are is not for the timid, nor is it for the impatient. It takes time. There may even be, actually almost certainly will be, some areas where you aren’t very proud of yourself. Good! It means you see it now. That indicates growth, and growth is good. You can’t fix something broken unless you realize it’s broken. But forgive yourself when you discover a shadow aspect of your personality. We all have lots of junk that gets entangled in the deepest parts of us. When we

You can’t fix something broken unless you realize it’s broken. But forgive yourself when you discover a shadow aspect of your personality. We all have lots of junk that gets entangled in the deepest parts of us. When we unearth it, it can be a little painful, but that’s when we’re ready for the next step.

6 – Move On

Whether it’s something really cool about yourself, or really bad, move on. Do the work to fix what’s broken and set out to take what’s working and make it even better. In other words – go forward – grow – transform into that beautiful creation that you know is within. Bring her out and dust her off. Let her fly!

7 – Starting Over

Yes, you heard me. Once you make some awesome discoveries as to who you really are, start the process all over again. You will be surprised just how much of you is there to find. Like digging for gold, you’ll find a nugget here and a nugget there. Just keep on digging. You’ll be glad you did.

And the next time someone asks you who you are, tell them – really.

Sometimes, a person right in front of you may be in love with you, but you don’t realize it. Perhaps you’re friends who hang out a lot and you even tell others that nothing’s going on — you’re “just friends.” However, little do you know that the person is harboring secret feelings for you .

Or maybe you are dating, but get mixed signals from them — though they’re not saying “I love you,” they are showing you through their subtle actions. Yes, they rescued you when you got stranded in the middle of the freeway when you ran out of gas, but isn’t that what friends do?

To get the scoop, Business Insider spoke to two relationship experts, including Dr. Suzana E. Flores , clinical psychologist and author of “ Facehooked: How Facebook Affects Our Emotions, Relationships, and Lives .” “While there is no guaranteed way to know if a person is truly in love with you , there are a few signs someone can show to reveal how they really feel,” Dr. Flores told Business Insider.

1. They have fun with you even if the task at hand is not fun, per se

The saying, “It’s not what you do, but who you’re with” is popular for a reason — because it’s true. Pay attention to the person who’s always there for you, even when the task at hand is not outwardly a fun one, like helping you move. “A sign someone may be in love with you includes their ability to have fun with you even during mundane tasks,” Dr. Flores said. “If they are happy to see you, no matter what the two of you are doing, it may be love.”

Kailen Rosenberg, elite matchmaker and founder of The Lodge Social Club , a dating application with a three-step vetting process that launched earlier this month, agrees. “The person will often go the ‘extra mile’ to help you with something — a project, a need, an errand, etc.,” she told Business Insider. “Bottom line, they want to be near you, thought of by you, and assist you.”

2. They look at you . a lot

The next time you’re with the person in question, note how often they look at you. Harvard psychologist Zick Rubin found a correlation between eye contact and love. In his study, couples deeply in love look at one another 75% of the time while talking, while people engaged in conversation only look at each other about 30-60% of the time.

“When someone is in love with you, they will stare at your eyes more directly and for a longer period of time; they want to be completely present with you,” Dr. Flores said. “This is why it’s so important to interact with a love interest in person versus just through digital connection — we need to connect emotionally through eye contact.”

3. They pay more attention to you

Everyone is busy, right? But people also make time for things — and others — that are important to them. “Someone may be in love when they begin to focus a lot of their attention on you, especially in one-on-one settings,” Dr. Flores said. Rosenberg agrees. “They’re just like the boy on the playground who used to pull your hair or tease you when you were a kid,” she said.

4. They show empathy — in good times and bad

When someone is not only sympathetic when something happens to you, but also empathetic, it may be another sign that they are in love with you . In other words, your happiness is their happiness, and your pain is their pain.

“Someone in love will care about your feelings and your well-being,” Dr. Flores said. “If he or she is able to show empathy or is upset when you are, not only do they have your back, but they also probably have strong feelings for you.”

5. They remember the little things

When it comes to reading signs to see if someone loves you, pay attention to the little things — because they’ll do them. You two may go to the movies and they’ll mix your popcorn with Raisinettes because you once mentioned you liked that salty and sweet combination.

“Someone in love will remember your birthday, your favorite color, and favorite meal, so the little things they remember and do for you are also meaningful,” Dr. Flores said.

6. They introduce you to the important people in their lives

The more people they introduce you to, especially those important to them, such as their family and best friends, the more likely it is they want to be closer to you emotionally.

“They’ll also go out of their way to connect you with their own friends and connections to help make your life or work easier,” Rosenberg said.

7. They often mention the future

How does the person act when it comes to talking about the future? Do they talk in more “we” language or “me” language? After all, you don’t talk about upcoming and faraway events with just anybody, unless you definitely want them in your life and by your side.

“Notice how the person behaves around you,” Dr. Flores said. “If they suddenly start speaking about a possible future with you, it’s a sign that they are falling in love or are already in love with you.”

How to discover who you are and then how to behave like it

Maybe you’ve made a new year’s resolution to cut the toxic people out of your life. That’s a great idea, but somewhat more difficult to do if you’re noticing signs that you’re a toxic person yourself, oops. Obviously it’s never fun or easy to engage in serious self-criticism, and self-improvement is really really hard, but there’s no other way forward if the source of your problems turns out to be you. Look on the bright side — at least you have control over the way you behave, so if you make efforts to shape up and become easier and more pleasant to be around then you’re likely to reap lots of rewards (instead of having to find new friends or abandon your family).

Now, we’ve all been guilty of indulging in some of these behaviors, but they should not become habits or you are likely to be screwing up your relationships left and right. Although some people, like your best friend or your mom, might stick out the toxicity longer than others, it’s really not good to put yourself in a position where others generally feel like they’re merely tolerating you at best. It’s time to take a step back, observe yourself, and figure out whether you’re the creator of the toxicity in your own life.

All of your problems are someone else’s fault

The number one sign of a toxic person is externalizing responsibility for stuff that goes wrong (i.e. foisting it on whoever else is convenient). Just think about it: seriously, what are the odds that in all of the fights and spates and disagreements you’ve ever had, you’ve never been to blame? It’s wildly unlikely, and this belief is self-serving, but at the steep cost of alienating others. Time to ditch it.

You’re always talking behind people’s backs

Though not every grumble deserves a confrontation, you should be willing and able to discuss problems with people when necessary, that’s the mark of a mature adult. If you’re always gossiping instead, you’re probably lacking in diplomatic skills and taking juvenile pleasure in the gossip to boot.

You love rehashing conversations

Once in a while, someone’s text or comment deserves rethinking. But for the most part, there’s just no secret meaning hidden in these communications. Picking them apart is just an invitation to see upsetting shades of meaning that aren’t real, and drawing others into the non-problem too.

You take more than you give

No one likes a fair-weather friend, but it’s easy to fall into this routine. If you’re only reaching out to friends and family and coworkers when you want something (and disappearing when it’s time to return the favor), face up to the fact that you’re probably a net negative influence on their lives.

You have enemies

Unless you’re some kind of political figure, why on earth would you have real enemies? It’s normal to have people float through your life at various times, maybe you’ve outgrown each other or were never a great fit in the first place. But if can name actual enemies, either you’ve contributed to genuine, significant fights (bad) or you’re imagining that you have (also bad).

You have frenemies

Having frenemies is almost worse than having regular enemies — what are you getting out of keeping people superficially close when you don’t like each other that much and it’s really more of a game? It can’t be anything healthy or good.

You have acquaintances but no friends

If you chronically have tons of acquaintances but no legit friends, then the best explanation is that there’s something keeping people from getting close to you. If you’ve made efforts to escalate some of these acquaintances into friends but it never sticks, you are probably giving off some red flags. Who wants to get newly socially involved with someone who already seems like more trouble than she’s worth?

There’s so much drama

Bottom line: your life is not a sitcom, and every season doesn’t need a dramatic arc. “Drama” should be the exception and not the rule and toying with people in your life or using them as stimulation for your own purposes isn’t ok. If you’re bored, get a real hobby instead.

Written by: braniac

Written on: July 14, 2020

How to discover who you are and then how to behave like it

As luck would have it, you might inadvertently (or not) find yourself in a relationship with a married man. Emotions will run high. You will feel betrayed and foolish. Here is what to do and how to behave if you find out he’s married.

  • As luck would have it, you might inadvertently (or not) find yourself in a relationship with a married man.
  • Here is what to do and how to behave if you find out he’s married.

Yell and scream at him, call him names, whatever makes you feel better, but then control the anger. Allow yourself to feel it – you have, after all, been betrayed in the worst way, but then let it go. You won’t accomplish anything while angry.

Talk to him. Communication is everything. You will need an explanation (you are entitled to one) and perhaps some sort of closure. Deciding how to proceed after you find out that the guy you’ve been seeing is married is a very delicate matter, and depends on your objectives with this man. Are you ready to leave him? Are you willing to be the other woman? I’m not advocating that you continue being his co-conspirator in deceiving his wife, but in the real world it does happen, so it’s worth mentioning. Do you want to resume the relationship once he is divorced/available? Decide what you want and talk to him about it.

  • Communication is everything.
  • Deciding how to proceed after you find out that the guy you’ve been seeing is married is a very delicate matter, and depends on your objectives with this man.

The best thing to do is end the relationship (now, the affair) immediately. That means no sexual intercourse, or deciding that perhaps you can be friends, etc. It means no contact in any way until his situation at home is resolved. This is the healthiest course of action as being the other woman is extremely difficult and emotionally draining. Additionally, it leaves the door open for a reconciliation in the future. It demonstrates that you won’t tolerate being the second woman in his life, ever. It demonstrates that you have respect for yourself and other women. If he is a man of some dignity, he will respect you for doing the right thing and either end or work on his marriage. If the marriage continues and he continues to cheat, you are better off without him. Remember that you could end up in his wife’s shoes.

  • The best thing to do is end the relationship (now, the affair) immediately.
  • If he is a man of some dignity, he will respect you for doing the right thing and either end or work on his marriage.

Don’t call his wife. Now you might have been advised otherwise, but in reality it serves no purpose. Wives will claim that they appreciated being told, but more often than not you will be blamed for the affair while she reconciles with her husband. Most women will want to work on their marriage and move past the affair. There are countless websites, books and seminars on exactly that: forgiving infidelity and building a stronger marriage.

  • Now you might have been advised otherwise, but in reality it serves no purpose.
  • Wives will claim that they appreciated being told, but more often than not you will be blamed for the affair while she reconciles with her husband.

I know someone who had an affair with a married man. He promised to leave his wife, but was of course lying through his teeth. Finally, she got so outraged when it became clear that he had no intention of leaving his wife that she picked up the phone and told her. The wife listened to her story, simply said “Thanks,” and then hung up. My friend got an update almost a year later. They were still together and working on their marriage. They managed to rekindle their passion for each other and the sex was better than ever. The wife once again thanked my friend who felt worse than she did when she found out that he was married. Additionally, I believe that most women know if their man is being unfaithful. We have great intuition and a gut feeling about these things. It’s only a matter of accepting what’s right in front of us and no longer being in denial.

Bottom line: if you find yourself involved with a married man end the relationship immediately. If he comes back to you he’s yours. If he doesn’t, he was never yours to begin with.

More Articles

How to find someone in a UK prison →

How to discover who you are and then how to behave like it

The weirdest Google searches, some of us are guilty of →

How to discover who you are and then how to behave like it

Pro & Cons of the Criminal Justice System →

How to discover who you are and then how to behave like it

The Disadvantages of Dating a Married Woman →

How to discover who you are and then how to behave like it

How to Cope With Receiving Anonymous Letters →

How to discover who you are and then how to behave like it

Signs that a married man is unhappy at home →

How to discover who you are and then how to behave like it

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ―Aristotle

To truly know yourself is the most important skill you can ever possess. When you know who you are, you know what you need to do, instead of looking for permission from others to do what you already know you ought to do. It allows you to bypass tons of frustration caused by putting time into the wrong things. Yes, life is supposed to be full of trial and error, but this lets you find the best areas for you to experiment with in the first place. Once you know yourself, you will become more confident, you will understand your purpose, and you will begin making a bigger impact on the world.

So how can you know who you are and what you ought to do in life? Here are the six steps you need to take in order to know your true self:

1. Be quiet.

You cannot and will not be able to know yourself until you take the time to be still. Many people don’t know themselves because any sort of silence scares them; it’s too uncomfortable to be alone with every flaw staring back at them. But it isn’t until you get alone, evaluate yourself and are completely truthful with yourself that you will actually be able to see every facet of your life—the good and the bad. Be quiet and discover your true self.

“Observing yourself is the necessary starting point for any real change.” —Chalmers Brothers

2. Realize who you truly are, not who you want to be.

I know you already have a set idea of who you desperately want to be, but it might not be who you were designed to be; this is why knowing who you really are is so important. When you know who you are, you will finally see where you and your specific gifts fit into the bigger picture.

And although there are many points along your journey to help you discover yourself, the best way to begin is to take a personality test and the StrengthsFinder test. (If it’s been five or more years since you’ve completed either of these, take them again.) No, these self-evaluations aren’t perfect, but they do pinpoint your top areas of strengths, so you can focus on the change you were meant to bring into the world.

3. Find what you are good at (and not good at).

This might be the most difficult step in the process of finding who you are, but it’s a necessary one. Sure, it takes trial and error to find what you’re good at, and no, I don’t want you to give up before you’ve had more than enough attempts, but knowing when to quit is a gift that everyone needs to learn.

Quit when you’ve put in ample time and your efforts aren’t giving back in return. What is ample time? Only you can decide that. But when you quit correctly, it isn’t giving up, it’s making room for something better. When your actions do nothing but drain you—rather than produce more passion and increase your drive to do more—that’s a good sign it is time to focus elsewhere. Your strengths will show you who you are.

4. Find what you are passionate about.

Following passion of any kind is a good thing, and you need to pay attention when it comes because it indicates an area of life that you need to pay more attention to. If we’re talking about following your passion in work, it’s a good thing. And if we’re talking about having more passion for life, it’s a good thing. Focus more on passion; understand yourself in better ways, and you’ll make a bigger impact. Passion produces effort and continuous effort produces results.

5. Ask for feedback.

If you don’t know yourself, hearing what others have to say about you is a helpful practice. Ask them two simple questions: “What strengths do you think I need to develop further?” and “What weaknesses do you think I need to work on?” Of course, their opinion isn’t going to be perfect, but their feedback will probably indicate a few areas you should at least take a second look at. This step is especially important for those who are stuck in finding themselves. Sometimes those closest to us can see something we might not be able to see in ourselves.

6. Assess your relationships.

A large aspect of knowing yourself can be found in your relationships. When you realize you’ll never truly know anyone else until you discover yourself, the importance of knowing yourself becomes even more apparent. This truth especially rings true for business leaders, because if you don’t know the people on your team, then you will be lost as a leader. But this rule also applies to any relationship in your life. Almost as much as you need to know yourself, other people also need to know who you are. People need you—the real you.

Use your reflections to fight your biggest fears, because when you understand who you are meant to be, your purpose will finally become bigger than your fears. When you realize who you are, you will spend less time spinning your wheels. Focusing on your strengths gives you the needed traction to begin making a bigger and better difference in the world. When you know yourself, you will find more peace, and you will find success quicker than ever before.

Now go take action and find your true self, starting today.

How to discover who you are and then how to behave like it

As a therapist, I’ve treated many people who want to know why they allow others to treat them poorly. Sometimes, it’s an individual who has entered into an unhealthy romantic relationship where they allow themselves to be disrespected.

At other times, it’s an individual who is uncertain how to respond to a colleague who mistreats them.

It’s likely that almost all of us have found ourselves in a situation like this at one time or another. Someone treated you poorly and you allowed it to happen. Maybe you allowed it to happen over and over again.

Understanding why you spend time with people who have treated you poorly is key to preventing it from happening again.

Here are seven reasons you might be willing to spend time with people who treat you poorly:

1. You think you’re the only person who understands them.

It’s easy to convince yourself that you have a special relationship with someone. And you’re the only one who truly gets them.

When other people advise you to steer clear, you’ll remind yourself that they just don’t understand this individual like you do.

2. You see their potential.

It’s frustrating when you see someone who seems to be throwing their life away. You know they could do so much better and accomplish so much if they really wanted to.

So you keep focused on how smart, talented, or skilled they are in hopes that someday, they’ll get the motivation, energy, and drive to reach their greatest potential.

3. You think you help them change.

You think that you have the knowledge, patience, compassion, or time to support the other person in changing.

And you might convince yourself that without you, the other person won’t ever change. So you decide you’re tough enough to handle the mistreatment because you’re hopeful things will get better.

4. You focus on the good.

If things were bad all the time, it’d be easy to cut the person out of your life. But there’s a good chance there are some good times too.

The desire to see the best in people can cause you to focus on the good only. And the more you think about the positive, the more disillusioned you’ll become about the reality of the situation.

5. You excuse the bad.

It can be tempting to look for a reason why someone would behave badly. It can’t possibly be that the other person is mean, disrespectful or uncaring, right?

Whether you’re convinced your colleague had a rough childhood or you think your partner’s behavior stems from a high-stress job, excuses allow the mistreatment to continue.

6. They confirm your beliefs about yourself.

If you have a deep-rooted belief that you’re a loser or that you’re unworthy, you’ll surround yourself with people who confirm your conclusions.

It’s a vicious cycle that’s hard to break. When you’re treated poorly, you’ll feel worse about yourself. And the worse you feel, the less likely you are to believe you deserve to be treated better.

7. You are afraid of giving that person up.

Whether you are afraid of being lonely, or you think you won’t ever find another boss who pays you so much, fear keeps you stuck. You might focus on how bad things might be if you cut someone out of your life.

Over time, you might grow desensitized to the mistreatment you experience. It often evolves slowly and gets worse gradually–so you might underestimate the toll someone is taking on your life.

How to Take Back Your Power

The first step in creating change is to recognize that you deserve to be treated with respect–and to discover why you’ve allowed someone to mistreat you. Then, you can begin to set healthy boundaries and limit the toll they take on your life.

That may mean saying no when certain things are requested of you (like refusing to loan someone money who never pays you back). Or, it may mean ending a conversation every time the other individual becomes disrespectful (like hanging up the phone every time your business partner begins yelling at you).

There’s a good chance the other person won’t respond well to your boundaries at first. But if they don’t respect your wishes you may need to take more drastic steps–like cut the person out of your life.

Now I am going to share with you how to handle the people who perpetually guide you in your life, so you can move forward in the most positive way.

  • Post author

Exclusive Excerpt – The Ultimate Guide to Self Love

By Barbara Rose, PhD

The Critics Who Tell You What You “Should” Be Doing

Perhaps there are people in your life who don’t truly know how to be supportive of you, accept you unconditionally, and show kindness to you. Perhaps, just as in my life years ago, there are people in your life who seem very adept at telling you what you “should” be doing. Do you know what? They are entitled to their views and opinions, and those views and opinions have absolutely nothing to do with you.

I have traveled this path in my own life. My brother, whom I do love very much, called me “a little left of center.” Okay, he’s entitled to his views; and I do not have to try to change them or prove anything to him. Additionally, my mother, whom I also love very much, told me repeatedly to “get a real job” and “work for a corporation” after my first two books were published and I had already worked with many people to help them transform their lives. This was prior to my beloved Mother’s recent passing,

Now, this book is about you, not me; but the only way I can help you is by sharing examples from my own life so you know that I have also been there.

Handling Unwanted Advice and Guidance

Now I am going to share with you how to handle the people who perpetually guide you in your life, so you can move forward in the most positive way.

First, stop sharing what you do, your ideas, plans, creative ventures, worries, fears, and business with anyone who is not fully supportive of you. Simply be kind and cordial. When they ask you what’s going on, tell them about domestic chores and that you just changed the linens on your bed. When they ask how you are doing, say, “Good! No complaints.” After a while, no matter what was happening in my life, when all I discussed was domestic chores and had no complaints, they had nothing to tell me in regard to my life direction because I was no longer feeding them personal information.

The only people I discuss my personal life with are people who love me unconditionally and are emotionally supportive of me. If someone is putting you down, telling you what to do, minding your business, or guiding you, if what they say goes against what feels true to you inside, then simply thank them for their opinion and change the topic of conversation.

You do not need anybody’s approval but your own. The people in your life who are quite adept in minding your business most likely are not living their passion, are not filled with self-love, and are not truly working in an area that they would do for free for the rest of their lives if they could. This is where your passion and life purpose come into play, and I will guide you through this as well because it has a lot to do with how you view yourself and how you feel about yourself.

What to Say and When to Say it

If you do not yet have a loving support system of positive people in your life, before you do attract those people, it is imperative that you stick to your truth regarding your personal life and stop discussing it with anyone who is not a positive, life-enhancing support system for you. When people in your life suggest how you “should” live your life, simply say, “Thank you for your opinion.” Period. Please realize that many people may think that what they are telling you is in your best interest. Rather than telling you what to do, I am guiding you now to start looking within your heart and asking yourself what truly matters to you, and what you naturally love to do. I will get into this in more detail in the next chapter.

But here I will repeat what I said before: It is so important that you know you are not in this life to win approval from anyone on earth. You are in this life to bring out your real qualities, rather than continuing to tell yourself that you are not yet whole and complete, because you really are. You may not feel it yet, but you will. Your life may look different from how you would prefer it to look, but it will be transformed from the inside out.

Your Talents, Gifts and Purpose

It all begins with getting to know and rediscover the best qualities you have within you, along with all of your natural talents and gifts, so you can align them with a purpose that comes from your heart. That purpose is called your life purpose, otherwise known as the reason you came into this life to begin with, and it all comes from the inside out, not the outside in.

Before I bring you to this place deep within your heart, it is important for you to remember that no matter what anybody says to you or about you, the only thing that matters is that you know the real you, and that you live your truth every moment of your life.

Your Experiences and Worth

The complaints you have about yourself definitely do not reflect your pure inner worth, because this worth resides in your heart. The circumstances in your life, my life, everybody’s life on earth are all transient circumstances. This means that they are temporary; not one of them lasts forever. Perhaps just as in my life years ago, the circumstances in your life may be everything other than what you truly desire.

It is important to know that your circumstances never reflect your worth. They are temporary circumstances, period. Your worth cannot be purchased or sold. Your worth has nothing to do with your appearance. Your worth has nothing to do with what you own. Nor does it hinge on a title or a position in society.

No matter what phase of life you are currently experiencing, please know and always remember that your worth is the goodness you were born with in your heart, and from this moment forward, anything that you have been viewing as the basis for your worth can instead be viewed as an experience you would like to have.

Moreover, the critics who may be in your life are actually wonderful catalysts to get you to be true to you. Not to them, to you. Additionally, your truth does not have to be publicly announced. It can remain inside of your heart while you simultaneously move your views of yourself in a more truthful direction consciously, and move your entire life in the direction that reflects the truth you prefer in your deepest heart. It is time that what you feel, think, say, and do all match, in a positive, pure, and life-enhancing manner.

Now I am going to share with you how to handle the people who perpetually guide you in your life, so you can move forward in the most positive way.

  • Post author

Exclusive Excerpt – The Ultimate Guide to Self Love

By Barbara Rose, PhD

The Critics Who Tell You What You “Should” Be Doing

Perhaps there are people in your life who don’t truly know how to be supportive of you, accept you unconditionally, and show kindness to you. Perhaps, just as in my life years ago, there are people in your life who seem very adept at telling you what you “should” be doing. Do you know what? They are entitled to their views and opinions, and those views and opinions have absolutely nothing to do with you.

I have traveled this path in my own life. My brother, whom I do love very much, called me “a little left of center.” Okay, he’s entitled to his views; and I do not have to try to change them or prove anything to him. Additionally, my mother, whom I also love very much, told me repeatedly to “get a real job” and “work for a corporation” after my first two books were published and I had already worked with many people to help them transform their lives. This was prior to my beloved Mother’s recent passing,

Now, this book is about you, not me; but the only way I can help you is by sharing examples from my own life so you know that I have also been there.

Handling Unwanted Advice and Guidance

Now I am going to share with you how to handle the people who perpetually guide you in your life, so you can move forward in the most positive way.

First, stop sharing what you do, your ideas, plans, creative ventures, worries, fears, and business with anyone who is not fully supportive of you. Simply be kind and cordial. When they ask you what’s going on, tell them about domestic chores and that you just changed the linens on your bed. When they ask how you are doing, say, “Good! No complaints.” After a while, no matter what was happening in my life, when all I discussed was domestic chores and had no complaints, they had nothing to tell me in regard to my life direction because I was no longer feeding them personal information.

The only people I discuss my personal life with are people who love me unconditionally and are emotionally supportive of me. If someone is putting you down, telling you what to do, minding your business, or guiding you, if what they say goes against what feels true to you inside, then simply thank them for their opinion and change the topic of conversation.

You do not need anybody’s approval but your own. The people in your life who are quite adept in minding your business most likely are not living their passion, are not filled with self-love, and are not truly working in an area that they would do for free for the rest of their lives if they could. This is where your passion and life purpose come into play, and I will guide you through this as well because it has a lot to do with how you view yourself and how you feel about yourself.

What to Say and When to Say it

If you do not yet have a loving support system of positive people in your life, before you do attract those people, it is imperative that you stick to your truth regarding your personal life and stop discussing it with anyone who is not a positive, life-enhancing support system for you. When people in your life suggest how you “should” live your life, simply say, “Thank you for your opinion.” Period. Please realize that many people may think that what they are telling you is in your best interest. Rather than telling you what to do, I am guiding you now to start looking within your heart and asking yourself what truly matters to you, and what you naturally love to do. I will get into this in more detail in the next chapter.

But here I will repeat what I said before: It is so important that you know you are not in this life to win approval from anyone on earth. You are in this life to bring out your real qualities, rather than continuing to tell yourself that you are not yet whole and complete, because you really are. You may not feel it yet, but you will. Your life may look different from how you would prefer it to look, but it will be transformed from the inside out.

Your Talents, Gifts and Purpose

It all begins with getting to know and rediscover the best qualities you have within you, along with all of your natural talents and gifts, so you can align them with a purpose that comes from your heart. That purpose is called your life purpose, otherwise known as the reason you came into this life to begin with, and it all comes from the inside out, not the outside in.

Before I bring you to this place deep within your heart, it is important for you to remember that no matter what anybody says to you or about you, the only thing that matters is that you know the real you, and that you live your truth every moment of your life.

Your Experiences and Worth

The complaints you have about yourself definitely do not reflect your pure inner worth, because this worth resides in your heart. The circumstances in your life, my life, everybody’s life on earth are all transient circumstances. This means that they are temporary; not one of them lasts forever. Perhaps just as in my life years ago, the circumstances in your life may be everything other than what you truly desire.

It is important to know that your circumstances never reflect your worth. They are temporary circumstances, period. Your worth cannot be purchased or sold. Your worth has nothing to do with your appearance. Your worth has nothing to do with what you own. Nor does it hinge on a title or a position in society.

No matter what phase of life you are currently experiencing, please know and always remember that your worth is the goodness you were born with in your heart, and from this moment forward, anything that you have been viewing as the basis for your worth can instead be viewed as an experience you would like to have.

Moreover, the critics who may be in your life are actually wonderful catalysts to get you to be true to you. Not to them, to you. Additionally, your truth does not have to be publicly announced. It can remain inside of your heart while you simultaneously move your views of yourself in a more truthful direction consciously, and move your entire life in the direction that reflects the truth you prefer in your deepest heart. It is time that what you feel, think, say, and do all match, in a positive, pure, and life-enhancing manner.