How to end negative self talk and reinvent your self image

Do you find identity stuck in a time-warp of your past?

Looking for a process that will help you reinvent your self-image?

If you answered yes to either of these questions, then this post was created with you in mind. Let me begin by saying I applaud you for finding your way to this post. This means you’re ready to enter a new dimensions of yourself, and that takes REAL courage.

Through trial and error, I’ve realized that the keys of reinvention lie in the definitions we use to describe ourselves. So in this post, I discuss 5 ways to redefine your current reality, and reinvent yourself with style and substance.

How to end negative self talk and reinvent your self image

The Art of Reinvention

In Let’s Talk Cycles: 3 Phases to Embodying Your Authenticity, I presented 3 phases one must experience to embody a more authentic self-image. These three phases included: exploration, revision, and actualization, which are fundamental in igniting true transformation.

If you’re desiring reinvention, you must understand that your characteristics, mindsets, and emotional states are your art tools. With this understanding, you hold the wisdom for pruning unfruitful behaviors, and sprouting new fruitful patterns in your life.

How to end negative self talk and reinvent your self image

But First…. COMES Redefinition

It would be easy to give you a few style tips, and say you now have a manual for reinvention. But, THIS IS NOT THE CASE. Understanding the art of reinvention, a vital part of the process are the terms used to define your self-concept.

Psychological Terminology: Self-Concept
A individual’s self-concept consists of
what one knows and believes about oneself.

In this case, to reinvent your self-image, you must redefine what you know and believe about yourself. Redefinition requires you to define again the changes you desire as a particular end. Through redefinition, a foundation is laid for reinvention to be derived. Therefore, reinvention occurs when your new definitions to completely remake and embody a new self-concept.

If you’re ready to embody a new self-concept, below are 5 practical steps to help you redefine and reinvent yourself in your own style.

5 Steps Towards Redefining & Reinventing Yourself

Explore your current self through journaling what’s causing your stagnation.

Stagnation is a sign you’re no longer growing. Journaling gives you the opportunity to reflect upon your daily habits, allowing you to see what is hindering your progression. Self-Coachingtip: Write often. Writing is a powerful way to bring your unseen thinking into physical form.

Create new definitions to who you desire to become.

Once you’ve recognized what thought processes are holding you back, begin to discard what’s defining those thought processes. Once discarded, redefine what you’re willing to become! Self-Coachingtip: Don’t be afraid to remove outdated ideologies. By discarding old definitions, you allow room for new positive definitions to empower a new sense of self.

Envision the characteristics, mindsets, and emotional states of the new you.

Envisioning is the process of picturing to oneself. And, now that you’ve created new positive definitions of yourself, it’s time to picture what these new definition means to you. Self-Coachingtip: Like a writer developing a character, develop an inner script of the specific characteristics, mindsets, and emotional states of the new version of yourself.

Align with the new you through embodying the new script you created.

After forming the script for your new self-concept, you must practice the lead role from where you currently are. Aligning is an act of establishing synergy between mind, body, emotions and behavior. Self-Coachingtip: Equate this step to an actor preparing for a new role in a movie, except you’re preparing yourself for a new expression of yourself.

Execute by being this new version of self in your daily life.

As the Japanese proverb goes: “Vision without action is a daydream”. Once you have become acquainted with this new version of yourself, you must consciously execute it in your daily life. Self-Coachingtip: You must execute your vision for it be a reality. Daily execution takes you to think, feel, and act out the new self-concept of you.

The Reinvention Recap

Let’s recap! The 5 steps to reinvention requires you to: explore, create, envision, align, and execute who you desire to become. Through utilizing the 5 step process of reinvention, your current state will lead you towards new realms of who you are. Therefore, be patient on your journey towards the newer version of yourself. Allow yourself time to embody the highest of your evolution.

Did this post help you on your journey towards reinventing yourself? If so, comment below. Also, Subscribe to the monthly networking newsletter for more tips and tools towards embodying your personal best!

Until next time,

Be fearless, Live fabulous, Express what’s uniquely YOU!

How to end negative self talk and reinvent your self image

It’s human nature to get stuck sometimes. Stuck at a job we don’t like in a town we would rather leave, stuck in bad relationships or toxic, destructive thought patterns.

While it might seem obvious to just walk away from that job or that town or that relationship, the reality is, no matter what changes we make on the surface, (even though those can sometimes be the best decisions we will ever make) the biggest, most important step to getting unstuck, is to begin with the mind.

To overcome low self-esteem, you must become more mindful.

Often, the reason we settle for the job we are over-qualified for or the partner who doesn’t respect and value us, is because we are stuck in the grips of our own negative and disempowering thoughts.

When we experience setbacks and blows to our progress and self-esteem, it’s natural to want to take a step back and go into hiding.

I’m incredibly guilty of this, myself. But staying in that safe place where nothing bad ever happens to us isn’t doing ourselves, or the world around us, any favors. When we feel hopeless, unsure, confused, frozen in place, unable to make decisions or take a leap of faith, it’s a clear sign that there is work to be done internally.

The good news is that we all come equipped with the tools to get unstuck; we just need to make to the first move and the universe will follow our lead. Several factors contribute to feeling stuck; low-self esteem, negative self-image, and poor habits to name a few, but with a little self-evaluation and self-care, transformation is possible.

Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” -Mandy Hale

Here are 3 ways to get unstuck and better yourself by overcoming low self-esteem.

How to end negative self talk and reinvent your self image

1. Evaluate your self image.

Negative self-image has the ability to destroy us from the inside out, if we allow it. Do you ever catch yourself literally hearing your own voice in your head criticizing you and cutting you down? Ask yourself where this is coming from. Is it the voice of a parent or teacher from your childhood who once projected their insecurities on to you?

Our minds are incredibly sneaky and have great success at tearing us down when we keep those thoughts silently to ourselves. But when we share them aloud, we take away their power. Make an agreement with yourself that when you hear those negative thoughts rolling around in your head, you will call a friend or write it down in a letter to yourself. Would you call up a friend and tell them how stupid and ugly and boring and nerdy you are? Would you journal about all the excuses your subconscious mind feeds you as to why you’re not good enough? Negativity is a silent killer, and it loses its power when we don’t allow it to eat away at us.
So when you find yourself in that situation, you have two choices: share those thoughts out loud, OR, find a way to change them. Sometimes calling a friend and sharing your pain is a great way to flip the dialogue and get some positive feedback, and other times, just the thought of calling them up and telling them how awful you think you are is all that you needed to make yourself realize that its all lies. By changing your thoughts and forcing yourself to see the good, you are bringing light to a dark place. The more you are able to utilize this practice, the brighter you shine from the inside out.

Whenever you notice your thoughts detour in to attack mode, say out loud or to yourself: happiness is a choice I make.” –Gabrielle Bernstein

2. Make intentional choices.

The other day I went and saw a speaker named Joshua Reeves give a speech called “The Power of Yes”. He said that every day, the average person makes somewhere around 30,000 decisions.

These decisions range from small ones, like which foot to place on the floor first, to big ones, like whether or not to sell off all of your possessions, move to another country, and become a monk. But with every moment, therein lies an opportunity to choose. And not every choice is a choice between something “good” or something “bad”, but every choice we make, whether it’s a conscious choice or a subconscious choice, alters the flow of our lives.

When you feel overwhelmed with decisions, it’s helpful to break it down in to smaller pieces so you are able to more easily digest the flow of life. Take a moment to slow down and make intentional choices. What are you saying yes to? Are you saying yes to growth, or yes to destruction? Which choice will bring you closer to your goals? Closer to yourself? Closer to the light you wish to emanate? Or as Oprah says, “what is the next right move?” What can you let go of that will allow you to chose the path of highest integrity?

Being conscious of the choices you make gives you power, and the more powerful you feel, the more confident you become and the more capable you are of getting unstuck.

It only takes one spark to light up the dark” –MC Yogi

3. Get moving.

Our emotions are stored in every cell of our bodies. Prolonged negativity can lead to illness, chronic pain, weight gain, and disease, to name a few. There is no separation of body and mind when it comes to our emotions. Sitting stagnant on the couch or at a desk trying to think of solutions is like sitting on the shore of a lake without a pole, hoping a fish will jump out and land in your basket. You have to cast the line.

You have to make a move. Movement creates flow not only of our blood, but also of our thoughts and our creative juices. Go for a walk, do some yoga, walk amongst the trees. Some of my greatest ideas and revelations have come to me when my thoughts were silenced and I was focusing only on the physical task at hand. Bringing awareness to your breath and to your movements forces your mind out of the hamster wheel of negativity and in to a place of receptiveness. Putting one step in front of the other, one dance move before the other, or one breath in front of the other opens your mind to the endless flow of ideas and possibilities available to you.

The important thing is this: to be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.” –Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

Overcoming negative self-image and low self-esteem is possible. When you find yourself feeling stuck, ask yourself to be the representation of love. Choose the most loving voice in your mind, to be the most loving voice in the room, and the most loving voice in the conversation. Let go of the inner conflict and anxiety and intentionally choose the path that leads you to your highest self.

How to end negative self talk and reinvent your self image

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How to End Negative Self Talk and Reinvent Your Self Image

By Kathryn Sandford | Jan 19, 2019

How to end negative self talk and reinvent your self image

Negative self-talk is has a huge influence on how we live our lives. The consequence of living life controlled by your negative self-talk is no self-belief and a poor self-image.

My Life Hack article provides tools and strategies on how you can bring control back into your life and lift your confidence and self-esteem.

For me, this quote by Israel Ayivor speaks volumes about those people who live their lives controlled by the negative self-talk. We are all accountable for how we live our lives and we all have the ability to be great leaders. We don’t have to be CEO’s and lead huge organisations nor do we have to be famous leaders however we do need to demonstrate the behaviours of personal leadership within our families, our communities and in our professional lives. Those who demonstrate the behaviours of personal leadership are those people who have self-belief and confident in who they are.

‘Those who mistrust their own abilities are being too wicked to themselves, discouraging themselves from doing what they should have been excelling in. If you are good at discouraging yourself, you can’t be a good leader because leadership is built on inspiring others to face challenges.”
― Israelmore Ayivor

You are not serving yourself nor living your life to your true potential when you are controlled by your negative self-talk

How to end negative self talk and reinvent your self image

People talk to themselves — a lot. With studies showing that our internal dialogue clips along at a pace of 4,000 words per minute, we cram a lot of thoughts into our day. And the person listening on the other end is us.

That would be great if those 4,000 words were full of self-affirmation and motivating talk, but they’re not: Up to 70 percent of our “mental chatter” is negative. Because we believe our self-talk, that negativity can overwhelm our positive, energizing thoughts and put a damper on our motivation.

That’s why getting others’ voices into our heads can sometimes be a very good thing. By absorbing others’ encouraging words and exposing ourselves to different ideas, we can put ourselves in a much more positive headspace. Here are five podcasts whose hosts will help you do just that.

1. “Happier Podcast” with Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin, the author of “The Happiness Project” and several other books on seeking happiness and improving oneself, hosts “Happier.” Founded on the idea that life is a project in which we are all experimenting to find what makes us most fulfilled, Rubin and her co-host, Elizabeth Craft, discuss habits and triggers to help adopt new perspectives. The podcast has covered a range of topics, including how to quit an addictive app, why examples carry more power than good advice, and how our happiness intersects with others’.

2. “The Stay Grounded Podcast” with Raj Jana

Raj Jana, the Chief Brewing Officer at JavaPresse Coffee Company, runs the “Stay Grounded” podcast. JavaPresse’s mission is to transform ordinary coffee rituals into extraordinary daily experiences, ensuring they offer a moment for people to pause, center themselves, and fuel the rest of their day, and Jana’s podcast follows the same theme. He invites people from a variety of backgrounds to ruminate on happiness, success, and how our daily rituals and routines can tie into creating both. His episodes run the gamut, featuring reflections inspired by entrepreneurs like Daymond John from “Shark Tank” and focusing on topics as diverse as putting yourself first and using fear to fuel happiness.

3. “The Lively Show” with Jess Lively

Jess Lively, a business coach-turned-wellness guru, uses online classes, as well as “The Lively Show,” to fulfill her quest of helping others live their dream lives. Based on the belief that listening to our intuition and focusing on our values and intentions can influence what’s to come, Lively aims to offer uplifting insights and goal-driven looks into the business world. The show features interviews with guests like Elizabeth Gilbert of “Eat, Pray, Love” fame; in recent episodes, the podcast has covered everything from self-love to cryptocurrency.

4. “Good Life Project Podcast” with Jonathan Fields

Jonathan Fields manages Good Life Project, a mission- and education-based effort that includes classes, summer camps, and the “Good Life Project” podcast. Designed to share ideas about living a “fully engaged, fiercely connected and purpose-drenched life,” the podcast pledges to follow a real-world approach that leads to long-lasting change and happiness within the lives listeners have already built. Offering tools and strategies, the podcast interviews well-known names like Seth Godin and Brené Brown and discusses subjects ranging from reclaiming one’s identity to learning the art of good conversation.

5. “The School of Greatness Podcast” with Lewis Howes

Lewis Howes, a former professional Arena League football player, is a lifestyle entrepreneur, a current member of the USA men’s Olympic handball team, and the host of “The School of Greatness.” The podcast aims to inspire listeners by sharing the experiences of leading athletes, business people, and celebrities to underscore “what makes great people great.” The show has hosted a variety of guests, including Gary Vaynerchuk, Ray Lewis, and Andy Grammer; it’s touched on topics ranging from setting boundaries for healthy relationships to choosing what creates a spark in us.

It’s not a bad thing that we talk to ourselves a lot — but the words we choose to say to ourselves can be defeating. By taking the time to listen to podcasts designed to motivate and invigorate us, we can start filling our heads with more positive phrases. If we push ourselves toward success, not away from failure, we may truly find success — and that will really give us something to talk about.

We all have a person in our lives who is negative most of the time. They can be tiring and draining to be with, but for whatever reason, we have to spend time with them. They can be our colleague, friend’s partner, partner’s friend or a family member. But how do you deal with negative people without letting it drain you?

In short, there are 7 things you can do when dealing with negative people.

  • Drown them out
  • Avoid whenever possible
  • Put yourself in their shoes – empathy
  • Mirror exercise – projection
  • Be happy
  • Be grateful
  • Don’t try to make them happier

It can be really hard to deal with negative people, as it is in our genetic makeup to want to be liked. Therefore we don’t want it to seem as if we don’t like other people, because that might reflect poorly on us. But if you are suffering because you are spending time with someone who is complaining, always angry, judging other people (or even worse, you), and routinely brings you down, what are you to do?

How to end negative self talk and reinvent your self image

1. Avoid whenever possible

The most obvious way to deal with negative people is to not spend time with them, and avoid them as much as possible. Walk away from them, and leave them for who they are. Naturally, this is easy to do with people you don’t have much of a relationship with. But it’s much harder to do with people you have to spend time with. Like that colleague or family member.

2. Drown them out or ignore them

If you can’t avoid them, can you ignore them? Letting them ramble on in their own negative cocoon might be one of the most effective ways to deal with negative people. Granted, this also takes some energy, but definitely less than engaging with it.

People who are very negative usually like to be negative with other people. This is a great example of ‘misery loves company’. So when you don’t engage with it, it becomes less ‘fun’ for them and they’ll likely stop bothering you with it.

According to this website, a good way to stop their complaints could be to ask how they’re going to fix the problem. it’s meant to focus on action and positivity, and the realization that they have power over this situation.

Keep in mind that these two options could cause other people see you as anti-social or rude, so that’s a choice you have to make.

How to end negative self talk and reinvent your self image

3. Put yourself in their shoes – empathy

One trick I use when I have to deal with negative people is to try and understand where they’re coming from. Probably something(s) have happened in their lifes that made them view the world this way, or react to a situation in this way. Instead of being angry or upset with them, try to understand where they’re coming from.

If you know them well, you can even ask them why they think something or view it that way. Not to argue with them and tell them how stupid it is, but to see their point of view and try to understand it.

4. Mirror exercise – projection

Often, we get annoyed by behaviour in other people because it is something we don’t like about ourselves. So when you are around someone who has an attitude you don’t like, take a look at yourself. Do you also sometimes show this behaviour? Do you engage in negative talk or gossip? Are you complaining a lot?

When you notice behaviour in others that you don’t like, always take a moment to reflect on your own behaviour, and look for similarities. This can either help you understand them and forgive them for being who they are because you also engage in this behaviour, or it can remind you that you also engage in this behaviour, therefore you want to improve yourself.

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How to end negative self talk and reinvent your self image

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There’s no shortage of self-help gurus who swear that repeating positive phrases to yourself can change your life, encouraging that if you simply tell yourself “I am strong and successful”, your fears will simply disappear.

If you’ve tried using positive affirmations, you know that it can be a difficult habit to maintain. You may spend five, 10 or even 20 minutes reciting your affirmation, but the other 23 hours of the day? Chances are that your mind drifts back to old, repetitive thoughts that have burned deep grooves in your brain.

The problem with positive affirmations is that they operate at the surface level of conscious thinking and do nothing to contend with the subconscious mind where limiting beliefs really live.

It goes without saying that if you command yourself to think “I am abundant and attract wealth”, yet your deeply held core belief is that you are never enough or unworthy of your success, your brain will be quick to incite an inner war. If you are trying to tell yourself “I am successful”, but you struggle with insecurity regarding your skills and accomplishments, your subconscious may likely remind you of the many times you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of your boss or made a mistake at work (trust me, we’ve all been there!).

Gallery: 8 Ways To Turn Negative Feedback Into Something Positive

The truth is that it’s natural and healthy to experience a range of feelings, including less pleasant ones like disappointment, sadness or guilt. While there’s no question that ruminating in negative emotions can turn toxic, whitewashing your insecurities with positive thinking is merely a temporary fix.

Unreasonably optimistic thinking can trigger a self-defeating spiral, particularly for those prone to anxiety and depression. Research shows that while repeating positive self-statements may benefit people with high self-regard, it can backfire for those lacking confidence.

If positive affirmations can be ineffective–even detrimental–how are we to take control and mentally empower ourselves to change?

While wishing ourselves into a success mindset won’t work for most, here’s a few strategies to try to make your self-talk work for you instead of against you.

Dig Yourself Out From “Debbie Downer” Thoughts.

Start with articulating and acknowledging thoughts weighing you down–ones that don’t serve any useful purpose beyond keeping you stuck. Releasing statements, such as, “I forgive myself for procrastinating” or “It’s okay for me to be angry” shortcut self-bashing and free up emotional resources.

If you spend less time beating yourself up for procrastinating, you can redirect that energy into breaking down a project into manageable tasks and actually tackling your to-do list instead.

Give Interrogative Self-Talk A Try.

Research shows that asking ourselves questions rather than issuing commands is a much more effective way to create change. It’s as simple as tweaking the way you speak to yourself. When you catch your inner critic flinging accusations, think: how can I turn this statement into a question? (see what I did there?). Asking questions opens up exploration and possibility.

Here’s some examples:

  • Am I willing to do what it takes?
  • When have I done this before?
  • What if [insert worse case scenario] happens?
  • How can I…?

This type of self-inquiry powers up problem-solving areas of the brain helping you tap into your innate creativity. You’re able to greet negative thoughts with curiosity instead of fear.

Focus on Progress, Not Perfection.

Using a positive affirmation like “I am wonderful and powerful” may backfire if you don’t truly, deeply believe it at both a cognitive and emotional level. To effectively re-frame your thinking, consider who you are becoming, focusing on your progress–the current track or path you’re on.

You might re-work your self-talk to sound more like “I am a work in progress, and that’s OK.” It’s pointing you in the direction of positive growth and is both realistic and achievable. Another example: telling yourself “Every moment I’m making an effort to be more conscious about how I spend my money” acknowledges the fact that you are evolving and that you have choice in creating a better financial future for yourself.

Most people don’t realize it, but as we go about our daily lives we are constantly thinking about and interpreting the situations we find ourselves in. It’s as though we have an internal voice inside our head that determines how we perceive every situation. Psychologists call this inner voice ‘self-talk‘, and it includes our conscious thoughts as well as our unconscious assumptions or beliefs.

Much of our self-talk is reasonable — ‘I’d better do some preparation for that exam’, or ‘I’m really looking forward to that match’. However, some of our self-talk is negative, unrealistic or self-defeating — ‘I’m going to fail for sure’, or ‘I didn’t play well! I’m hopeless’.

Self-talk is often skewed towards the negative, and sometimes it’s just plain wrong. If you are experiencing depression, it is particularly likely that you interpret things negatively. That’s why it’s useful to keep an eye on the things you tell yourself, and challenge some of the negative aspects of your thinking.

You can test, challenge and change your self-talk. You can change some of the negative aspects of your thinking by challenging the irrational parts and replacing them with more reasonable thoughts.

With practice, you can learn to notice your own negative self-talk as it happens, and consciously choose to think about the situation in a more realistic and helpful way.

Challenging the Self-Talk

Disputing your self-talk means challenging the negative or unhelpful aspects. Doing this enables you to feel better and to respond to situations in a more helpful way.

Learning to dispute negative thoughts might take time and practice, but is worth the effort. Once you start looking at it, you’ll probably be surprised by how much of your thinking is inaccurate, exaggerated, or focused on the negatives of the situation.

Whenever you find yourself feeling depressed, angry, anxious or upset, use this as your signal to stop and become aware of your thoughts. Use your feelings as your cue to reflect on your thinking.

A good way to test the accuracy of your perceptions might be to ask yourself some challenging question. These questions will help you to check out your self-talk to see whether your current view is reasonable. This will also help you discover other ways of thinking about your situation.

There are four main types of challenging questions to ask yourself:

1. Reality testing

  • What is my evidence for and against my thinking?
  • Are my thoughts factual, or are they just my interpretations?
  • Am I jumping to negative conclusions?
  • How can I find out if my thoughts are actually true?

2. Look for alternative explanations

  • Are there any other ways that I could look at this situation?
  • What else could this mean?
  • If I were being positive, how would I perceive this situation?

3. Putting it in perspective

  • Is this situation as bad as I am making out to be?
  • What is the worst thing that could happen? How likely is it?
  • What is the best thing that could happen?
  • What is most likely to happen?
  • Is there anything good about this situation?
  • Will this matter in five years time?

When you feel anxious, depressed or stressed-out your self-talk is likely to become extreme, you’ll be more likely to expect the worst and focus on the most negative aspects of your situation. So, it’s helpful to try and put things into their proper perspective.

Learn more about: Depression Symptoms

4. Using goal-directed thinking

  • Is thinking this way helping me to feel good or to achieve my goals?
  • What can I do that will help me solve the problem?
  • Is there something I can learn from this situation, to help me do it better next time?

Recognizing that your current way of thinking might be self-defeating (e.g., it doesn’t make you feel good or help you to get what you want) can sometimes motivate you to look at things from a different perspective.

You can conquer your negative self-talk today by challenging yourself with these questions every time you catch yourself thinking something negative to yourself.

Don’t let your inner dialogue rob you of mental strength.

How to end negative self talk and reinvent your self image

Your private inner dialogue can either be a powerful stepping stone or a major obstacle to reaching your goals. If you constantly make negative predictions like, “I’m going to mess up,” or you call yourself names, your self-talk will rob you of mental strength.

Your thoughts affect how you feel and how you behave. The way you think has the power to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thinking, “I’ll never get this job,” may cause you to feel discouraged as you walk into an interview. Consequently, you may slump your shoulders, stare at the floor, make a poor first impression—and inadvertently sabotage your chances of success.

If you have a harsh inner critic, you’re not alone: Self-doubt, catastrophic predictions, and harsh words are common. But you don’t have to be a victim of your own verbal abuse.

From among the many exercises that we use in therapy to help people change the way they think, here are seven ways to tame your inner critic:

1. Pay attention to your thoughts.

You’re so used to hearing your own narration that it’s easy to become oblivious to the messages you’re sending yourself. Start paying close attention to your thoughts and you may discover that you call yourself names or talk yourself out of doing things that are hard.

It’s estimated that you have around 60,000 thoughts per day. That’s 60,000 chances to either build yourself up or tear yourself down. Learning to recognize your thought patterns is key to understanding how your thinking affects your life.

2. Change the channel.

While problem-solving is helpful, ruminating is destructive. When you keep replaying a mistake you made in your head over and over again or you can’t stop thinking about something bad that happened, you’ll drag yourself down.

The best way to change the channel is by getting active. Find an activity that will temporarily distract you from the negative tapes playing in your head. Go for a walk, call a friend to talk about a different subject, or tackle a project you’ve been putting off. But refuse to sit and listen to your brain beat you up.

3. Examine the evidence.

Your thoughts aren’t always true. In fact, they’re often exaggeratedly negative. It’s important to examine the evidence before you believe your thoughts.

If you think, “I’m going to embarrass myself when I give that presentation,” pause for a minute. Take out a piece of paper and write down all the evidence that indicates you’re going to fail. Then, list all the evidence that you aren’t going to fail. Looking at the evidence on both sides can help you look at the situation a little more rationally and less emotionally. Reminding yourself that your thoughts aren’t 100 percent true can give you a boost in confidence.

4. Replace exaggeratedly negative thoughts with realistic statements.

When you recognize that your negative thoughts aren’t completely true, try replacing those statements with something more realistic. If you think, “I’ll never get a promotion,” a good replacement statement might be, “If I work hard and I keep investing in myself, I may get promoted someday.”

You don’t need to develop unrealistically positive statements; overconfidence can be almost as damaging as serious self-doubt. But a balanced, realistic outlook is key to becoming mentally stronger.

5. Consider how bad it would be if your thoughts were true.

It’s tempting to envision a misstep turning into an utter catastrophe, but often the worst-case scenario isn’t as bad as we fear. If you predict you’re going to get rejected for a job, ask yourself how bad would that actually be? Rejection stings but it’s not the end of the world. Reminding yourself that you can handle tough times increases your confidence. It can also decrease much of the dread and worrisome thoughts that can stand in your way.

6. Ask yourself what advice you’d give to a friend.

It’s often easier to be more compassionate toward other people than to yourself. For example, while you might call yourself an idiot for making a mistake, it’s unlikely you’d say that to a loved one. When you’re struggling with tough times or doubting your ability to succeed, ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend who had this problem?” Then, offer yourself those kind, wise words.

7. Balance self-improvement with self-acceptance.

There’s a difference between telling yourself that you’re not good enough and reminding yourself that there’s room for improvement. Accept your flaws for what they are right now while committing to improvement in the future. Although it sounds a bit counterintuitive, you can do both simultaneously: You might accept that you feel anxious about an upcoming presentation at work while also making a decision to improve your public speaking skills. Accept yourself for who you are right now while investing in becoming an even better version of yourself down the road.

Train Your Brain to Think Differently

Your mind can be your best asset or worst enemy. It’s important to train it well. The good news is that mental strength exercises will help you silence the toxic self-criticism for good. With practice, you can develop a more productive inner dialogue that will fuel your efforts to reach your goals.

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How to end negative self talk and reinvent your self image

Feeling stuck is the root of many evils.

“I wish I could”¦.” is the third most common phrase in English after “good morning” and “f**k it.” – I`m kidding.

“I wish I could lose more weight.”

“I wish I can get him to like me.”

“I wish I can be more social.”

“I wish I can make more money.”

All are wishes. All prove to me that deep inside, everyone wants the best for themselves. Most people, like you, want to reinvent themselves.

The problem? But most people are stuck. They want change, but they don`t know how it works or whether or not they can handle it. So, they choose to watch and cope instead of building the life the matches all the gifts they`d been given. So, today I made you a post on how to un-stuck and reinvent yourself from scratch so that the next months and years are all yours. Here they are:

How to end negative self talk and reinvent your self image

Have a goal that excites you

Set a goal for yourself and strive to achieve it. Goals give us hope which makes hard work more endurable and makes you push past your limits —and thus build self-confidence and trust.

According to a study published in the Journal of Social Psychology, how happy you are as an adult relies strongly on how good you are at setting and achieving goals. Goal-setting is also a technique Navy Seals use to increase passing rates. Recruits are taught to set extremely small goals —like making it from lunch to dinner— so that each time they achieve a goal, they get a dopamine kick and a boost in self-confidence which make them go even further.

So, pick a goal, any goal, and write a plan to achieve it. Make it something that excites you and revises that goal as many time as you can during the day and night. An easy method to set, and achieve, goals is that one used by psychologist, and author, Richard Wiseman. I`ve been using it for years, and I swear by it. You divide any goal you want into 3-5 sub goals, then for each sub-goal write:

I believe that I can achieve this goal because…
To achieve this sub-goal I will…
This sub-goal will be achieved by the following date ../../…
My reward for achieving this will be”¦

Follow this formula with any goal you want to reach. I`m sure you will hit some nice home runs if you follow that drill at least once a day.

Write down five things that scare you (and overcome them)

Fear is crippling and it can ruin your career and life. One study found that people who are afraid of losing their jobs actually lost those jobs because of how bad fear made them perform.

My advice? Find out the 20 percent of your fears causing 80 percent of your troubles then smack them down. You must confront your fears, especially fear of rejection, so you don`t waste your life hovering around your goals instead of conquering them.

Spend time with yourself and ask what can I do if I were a little bit braver. Come up with as many ideas as possible then tackle the five most influencing ones until you`re no longer afraid. It can be anything from fearing to talk to a girl to fearing to email someone for help or cold-call a client. If you truly want to reinvent your life then fear should be the compass you use to find out what you should do. Cracking through your most deeply-rooted fears will liberate you, and it`s totally worth it.

Expand/change your social circle

Happiness is having a group of supportive, like-minded, fun-loving friends who stick with you in sickness and health. Being lonely won`t make you happier being around the wrong people will make you stressed, which is why you must consider reshaping your social life, so the process of reinventing your life works appropriately..

A 2018 study by Washington University says there`s a strong link between loneliness and dementia, chronic diseases and higher mortality rates. The same study suggests that 46 percent of America`s adults feel lonely most or all the time ““ and in case you want to know, many of these adults are between 18 and 22 years old.

Another study by Northwestern University found that the quickest way to learn anything is to hand around those who possess that skill. Which means you must spend some time around happy, successful and wiser people even if it means living in another city, finding a mentor, or replacing your old, unsupportive buddies with better ones. It`s hard, I know, but it`s doable.

Learn how to calm your mind

I want you to make at least one of these habits — running, journaling, yoga, and meditation— a lifetime habit. If you feel stuck in life, then I think you`re also victim to over-thinking, and nothing can control that muss in your head better than the four habits I just mentioned. They will give you the edge.

Social function, relaxation and mental health scores for a group of chronic worriers had gone higher following a 10-week yoga program, according to this study, which is primarily because yoga can reduce your primary stress hormone, known as Cortisol.

Running is another activity that improves your mental fitness. Though it looks boring to some people, running gives you the chance to train your mind not to quit. It`s an everyday battle between you and your inner, comfort-loving voice, and the harder you push without giving up, the quieter that quitter in you will be.

Finally, journaling allows you to understand your thoughts and feelings more adequately. It`s like putting them under the microscope with no one but you can examine them. You can`t imagine how much relieved you will start to feel after a month or two of journaling. Studies have found that this is one of few effective ways psychologists use to help vets returning from Iraq cope with their reintegration problems. Why not give it a shot?

Take good care of your looks

Reinvent yourself by working on your physical image? It`s not a bad thing, is it? You will feel desired which will improve your social life —look at how overweight people become suddenly social after they drop a ton of weight— and you will develop self-discipline as you begin to eat properly and hit the gym.

Trying to look better is a sign of self-love that. Even if you think can`t endure the hard work at the gym, there are so many “small” things you can do to look better. Get enough sleep, shower every day, book a monthly massage, get a celebrity-like haircut, shave/wax consistently, and buy new clothes that actually fit you. You will feel happy and motivated to hit the gym, fix your diet and work on your relationships. It`s a closed loop that you can affect by any small positive, or negative decision you make, so choose progress.

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