How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

After one particularly bad breakup, I signed myself up for piano lessons. Attempting to master the keys not only helped pass the time, but kept me distracted from trying to follow my ex’s every move on social media — and gave me something to talk about with my friends other than the aftermath of my failed relationship.

As it turns out, channeling all that free time into something creative can actually help ease post-breakup pain. “Starting a new hobby or honing one new skill expands your mind and can also boost your self-confidence after a breakup,” says Patti Sabla, LCSW, a social worker practicing in Hawaii.

I never got past learning the chorus of “Let it Be” — but I did get over the breakup with some help from The Beatles. However, if the thought of getting off your couch post-breakup seems beyond the realm of possibility for you right now, Sabla says staying in can also be beneficial to your healing process, as long as you eventually shake off those Cheetos crumbs and rejoin society. “There is nothing wrong with curling up on the sofa and binge watching sappy movies on Netflix for a few nights,” she says. “But if that becomes your regular Friday and Saturday night routine, it’s time to take action.”

What happens in our brain when we go through a breakup

One of the hardest parts of getting over my ex was dealing with the positive memories that would hit me out of nowhere as I was going about my day, whether it was a jingle from a commercial he’d always sing to me or walking past one of the brunch spots that used to be “ours”.

In fact, the whole breakup would’ve been much easier if his false accusations and constant attacks on my character were what came to mind instead. But as Travis McNulty, LMHC, a therapist practicing in Florida explains, that’s unfortunately not how the chemical process of falling in and out of love works.

“For the duration of your relationship your monogamous brain has identified this person as your spouse,” McNulty says. “We’re biologically hardwired to reproduce, so there is a strong bio-chemical reaction that ensues from seeing your ‘spouse’ that releases powerful neurotransmitters that make us feel good.”

So basically, going through a breakup is like trying to quit a drug cold turkey. “When your brain conceptualizes that your partner is no longer with you, grief sets in,” says McNulty. “Your mind no longer releases the feel-good chemicals (oxytocin and dopamine) that it once released every time you saw this person.” All of which leads to that sick feeling in your stomach. “For most of us, our shift in focus leads us to behaviors that are uncharacteristic and even ‘crazy’ trying to win that person back — even when we logically know they’re not good for us.”

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

How grief affects your brain and what to do about it

5 ways to get your mind right after a breakup

Once you’ve spent a few nights in with your junk food of choice, it’s time to start moving forward. Here are five steps to starting over after a breakup that’ll have you feeling like your old self again.

If you’re looking for how to get over your ex fast, we’re hoping these tips and reminders will remind you of how special you are and help you move on and give yourself some much needed self love. As bad as things may seem to you now, you will get over him. Here’s how to get over a breakup and learn how to recover and heal.

Note: Every breakup is different, every couple, ex, person and healing experience is different. So keep that mind when you go through these tips. Remember that there are no general rules and what might work for some could be different for your and vice versa.

How to get over an ex boyfriend:

1. Don’t hold back the tears

We know it’s hard for a lot of people, but in the beginning it’s important to just let yourself feel and deal. Don’t resist, deny or repress your emotions in order to be strong. Your strength is there regardless, even when you’re crying or you want to stay in bed all day and feel sorry for yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re weak, you’re just processing and letting yourself feel sad about what happened, which is completely fine and essential in order to later move on. Acceptance is the first step.

2. Minimize contact

This may sound a little bit childish, but trust me it works! We’re not telling you not to keep it civil, but at least in the beginning try to minimize the amount of communication you have with him. Try to see him less. Pamper yourself instead or have some quality time with your best friends.

3. Avoid social media venting

Facebook statuses, tweets and insta-stories hints about your breakup might not be the best way to heal. Although for a lot of people it’s how they process, remember that sharing and having people overwhelm you with their opinions might make things more complicated and confusing for you. Plus it’s important to respect each other’s privacy as well.

4. New people, new activities

Engage in new activities that will make you have leisure time. This will decrease the amount of time you spend thinking and help you get out of the rut. Dancing classes, yoga classes or even language courses can be perfect options to meet new people. By that, I don’t mean that you should immediately get into a new fling with someone. Dating soon is absolutely okay if that’s what you want, it’s nice to have fun and flirt, but also give yourself time to process even if it’s for a short time.

5. Feel good, look good

Have a haircut, go for a run, workout or get a manicure. Do things that actually make you refreshed and happy. Make yourself feel good and get a makeover. Dye your hair or schedule a spa treatment every week. Try on some new makeup ideas or update your wardrobe with some cool new pieces. Some changes in your look and routine will make you feel better.

6. Limit yourself from talking about him

Talking about him too much, will make it even worse. It’s completely okay to let it out and talk about it, but not all the time. Whenever you feel like mentioning his name or talking about something in the past, try to switch your thoughts to anything else.

7. Let go of anger and forgive

We know that right now reading this, it seems impossible, especially if it was an ugly breakup. But without trying to let go of this anger and trying to forgive, moving on will be a lot harder. How? Well it’s different for everyone, but time of course helps and empathy or making your peace with the fact that everyone’s on their journey and people make mistakes. It doesn’t mean you should forget or be best friends with your ex and you don’t even have to talk to him if you don’t want to, but within yourself try to find peace towards them and less anger in order to move on. This step can be helped also by seeing a counselor or therapist.

8. Avoid checking on him on social media

I know that it is difficult, because of curiosity and missing him, but constantly checking his social media will make it harder to move on. You can even shut off social media for a few days and relax away from it, it order to start the process.

9. Find your passion and plan for your future

A big chapter of your life has ended, so it’s time to restructure and look back into your personal life and how you want to live it now. Look for your passion, do something you love and plan for things that excite you, without any restrictions or attachments.

10. Love yourself

Finally but most importantly self-love. Some lose their self-confidence and self-love after a problematic or toxic relationship. Now it’s important to focus on getting it back without depending or relying on a relationship or partner to do so. Take care of yourself, love your mistakes and faults, accept them, forgive yourself and learn from them.

Main Image Credits: Instagram @marta__sierra

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

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When you’re suffering through a painful breakup, it’s hard to imagine that you’ll ever find another partner — much less, want one! There’s a cliche that it takes one week to get over each month of a relationship, but who has that much time to dwell on the past?

Table of Contents

Getting over a breakup is hard because it suddenly shakes our future.

When we start to be committed to a relationship, we have expectation on each other. Maybe we want to spend the rest of our life with the partner, or maybe we’re planning about something we can do together in the future. Everything in the future is all about “us”, everything in “our” future is positive.

But when the relationship ends suddenly, the commitment and the promises are broken. Our future becomes uncertain all of a sudden. There is also a strong emotional fallout. We are forced to give up something we used to believe in so strongly. And we are forced to give up something we treasure most.

This is a large-scale mental revision, and this is confusing and for sure, very difficult.

But moving on is necessary because getting stuck at a difficult stage blocks out our future opportunities.

The end of a relationship is not the end of life. No matter who initiate the breakup, it means something is not working in the relationship. Most of the time, it’s not about who’s not good enough, it’s about whether the couple is suitable for each other.

If we’re stuck with the “what if’s” and “how comes” continuously, we’re never going to move on. If we let ourselves dwell in the past, we’re neglecting what we can do to be happier now and in the future.

There is still way to go for our lives, there’ll be so many more people we will encounter, and so many more things to experience. Getting stuck in a difficult stage is a really bad thing for our future.

I know getting over a breakup is difficult, I’ve been through plenty of painful breakups too. But these tips will get you the way on how to get over a breakup fast and move on soon.

1. Accept the end of the relationship.

Avoid second-guessing yourself once you end the relationship. Even if you did not end it, don’t start wondering what you did wrong. Relationships end for good reasons. One of you wasn’t happy or getting what you wanted.

Accept that the relationship is over, and now, you have a fresh start to do it right next time.

2. Give yourself some time to get over it bit by bit.

You’re not in the relationship anymore, but you don’t have to get over it right away. If you push yourself too hard to get over your ex, you might do more harm than good. Everything takes time to heal, and bad relationships are no different.

Take time to go to bed early and sleep in late, or stay in on a Saturday night eating ice cream.

3. Replace your hatred and anger with gratitude.

Regardless of what happened to end your relationship, don’t hold a grudge. Everyone makes mistakes, and when emotions are high, people will get hurt. Don’t hate your ex forever and tell everyone that he or she is a bad person. Don’t let your ex have that kind of hold over you anymore. Let those negative feelings go and be thankful for the lessons you have learned instead. Embrace the possibilities of future love and happiness.

4. Realize who you want to be and find yourself again.

It’s not uncommon to lose yourself in a relationship, where you can become a “we” instead of a “me.” A breakup means you have time to find yourself again. Spoil yourself: spend an hour in a bubble bath, watch a marathon of your favorite TV show, cook the favorite meal that your ex hated. This is the perfect time to analyze who you were before, who you were with your ex, and who you want to be in the future. You’re single and you’re healing from a breakup – it’s all about you!

5. Find your support circle and have more fun with your friends.

Just like you lose touch with yourself in a relationship, it’s easy to lose touch with your friends. Being part of a couple means you spend a lot of time with each other, and you might spend less time with your friends as you enjoy your partner more and more. Being single again means you can have quality time with your friends. Don’t spend that time bad-mouthing your ex, or even talking about the relationship or the breakup. Spend time catching up and having fun together.

6. Rededicate yourself to your hobbies and passion.

Due to spending so much time with your ex, your hobbies may have fallen to the wayside. You may have exchanged reading a book in bed at night for pillow talk. Did you stop making jewelry to sit on the couch and watch your ex’s favorite movies? Use this time to rediscover your hobbies and become more in tune with the person you once were.

7. Work out to take your mind off the negativity.

Nothing takes your mind off problems more than working out. (Even if it is because you spend every step of your run chanting, “I hate exercise, I hate exercise.”) Go for a run when you get home from work each afternoon. Join a gym and hit it up each morning before work. As an added bonus, if you join a gym, you’re going to get your body into shape, while increasing your chances of meeting someone new (when you’re ready)!

8. Recognize your self worth: you’re always amazing and you deserve real love.

This is the most important tip of all. Your relationship may have ended, but you’re not a failure because of that. Everyone has stories of failed relationships, and everyone gets past them. Just remember that you’re an amazing, interesting person. One relationship might not have worked out, but there are many other people out there just waiting to meet you. Get excited by the possibilities!

When we are reeling from a breakup, the last thing we want to do is hit gym. Instead, we wallow in our own misery, or turn to stress-eating and completely forget about health and fitness. Ever heard of a downward spiral? Not good.

Signup & Get Early Bird Access To Our Personal Training App

A breakup can leave us with feelings of sadness, melancholy and a loss of control. Don’t fall prey to the post-split spiral. Put down the pint of ice cream and take charge of your life and your health. It is, by far, one of the best ways to get over someone, and to move on with grace and dignity.

Work on being the best version of yourself you can be, and happiness will follow. Don’t believe us? Read on to find out how working out can help you get over a breakup.

Reduce Stress

With a breakup comes a lot of negative emotions — anger, sadness, resentment — and the rollercoaster can be overwhelming, not to mention, extremely stressful.

And when it comes to regulating your stress levels, we all know that there’s simply nothing like a good workout.

Whether you are playing your favourite sport, enjoying the great outdoors or simply pumping some serious iron at the gym, being active allows your body to release endorphins, a.k.a. happy hormones, which are scientifically proven to combat stress.

The hardest part of all this, of course, is simply lacing up your shoes and getting out the door. Thankfully, we have a number of motivation strategies to help you push past the initial slump and lack of motivation. Trust us: Once you get a sweat going, you will feel better.

It takes courage, motivation and grit to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and head to the gym — no easy feat when you’re feeling blue. But you need to keep pushing forward. Life does not stop after splitting ways with your ex, and neither should your workouts.

Gain Confidence

A breakup can negatively affect how you see yourself. Do not allow this to happen. Get ahead of the self-doubt by channeling positive energy into a stronger, more confident you. Focus on your muscles, your power, and all the incredible things you body can do for you.

Exercise is an excellent way to gain confidence at a time when you need it the most. When you see how strong you really are and what your body can actually accomplish, you’ll begin to cast away doubt and learn to love yourself again.

Plus: It doesn’t hurt to know that you look amazing in a swimsuit or tight t-shirt, either.

Get Back Out There

After a breakup, your life will likely undergo some readjustments. The transition period can be fraught with disorder and confusion. That’s why immediately following a breakup, you’ll want to work on instilling a new routine, which can restore a sense of calm and order in your life amidst the emotional chaos. Having a set gym schedule not only forces you out of the house, but it forces you back into the swing of things.

A regular routine helps us stay focused and organized. Additionally, hitting the gym, playing a team sport or attending regular fitness classes is also a great way to stay social and meet new people — so important when we are feeling lonely and blue.

Put Yourself First

Admit it: You may have first hit the gym post-breakup with the goal of achieving a “revenge body,” but it’s important to remember that getting fit post-split isn’t about your ex — it’s about you. Spending time at the gym or doing various physical activities is your way of reconnecting to yourself and treating yourself kindly. Take time to exercise, eat right, and treat yourself every now and again. It could be a nice, long post-workout sauna session, a new outfit, a new haircut — anything that makes you feel a little bit pampered and special.

One Day At A Time

We get it. Breakups are tough. Take a deep breath, lace up those sneakers and take the first step towards feeling better. Prioritize your health and happiness — you’ll not just see your body transform, but your perspective, too. When you are your best version of yourself, you’re more likely to attract someone who admires your positive energy and spirit.

So what are you waiting for? Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get up and get moving. We promise you’ll look better, feel better, and find your inner strength and confidence.

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

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When you’re suffering through a painful breakup, it’s hard to imagine that you’ll ever find another partner — much less, want one! There’s a cliche that it takes one week to get over each month of a relationship, but who has that much time to dwell on the past?

Table of Contents

Getting over a breakup is hard because it suddenly shakes our future.

When we start to be committed to a relationship, we have expectation on each other. Maybe we want to spend the rest of our life with the partner, or maybe we’re planning about something we can do together in the future. Everything in the future is all about “us”, everything in “our” future is positive.

But when the relationship ends suddenly, the commitment and the promises are broken. Our future becomes uncertain all of a sudden. There is also a strong emotional fallout. We are forced to give up something we used to believe in so strongly. And we are forced to give up something we treasure most.

This is a large-scale mental revision, and this is confusing and for sure, very difficult.

But moving on is necessary because getting stuck at a difficult stage blocks out our future opportunities.

The end of a relationship is not the end of life. No matter who initiate the breakup, it means something is not working in the relationship. Most of the time, it’s not about who’s not good enough, it’s about whether the couple is suitable for each other.

If we’re stuck with the “what if’s” and “how comes” continuously, we’re never going to move on. If we let ourselves dwell in the past, we’re neglecting what we can do to be happier now and in the future.

There is still way to go for our lives, there’ll be so many more people we will encounter, and so many more things to experience. Getting stuck in a difficult stage is a really bad thing for our future.

I know getting over a breakup is difficult, I’ve been through plenty of painful breakups too. But these tips will get you the way on how to get over a breakup fast and move on soon.

1. Accept the end of the relationship.

Avoid second-guessing yourself once you end the relationship. Even if you did not end it, don’t start wondering what you did wrong. Relationships end for good reasons. One of you wasn’t happy or getting what you wanted.

Accept that the relationship is over, and now, you have a fresh start to do it right next time.

2. Give yourself some time to get over it bit by bit.

You’re not in the relationship anymore, but you don’t have to get over it right away. If you push yourself too hard to get over your ex, you might do more harm than good. Everything takes time to heal, and bad relationships are no different.

Take time to go to bed early and sleep in late, or stay in on a Saturday night eating ice cream.

3. Replace your hatred and anger with gratitude.

Regardless of what happened to end your relationship, don’t hold a grudge. Everyone makes mistakes, and when emotions are high, people will get hurt. Don’t hate your ex forever and tell everyone that he or she is a bad person. Don’t let your ex have that kind of hold over you anymore. Let those negative feelings go and be thankful for the lessons you have learned instead. Embrace the possibilities of future love and happiness.

4. Realize who you want to be and find yourself again.

It’s not uncommon to lose yourself in a relationship, where you can become a “we” instead of a “me.” A breakup means you have time to find yourself again. Spoil yourself: spend an hour in a bubble bath, watch a marathon of your favorite TV show, cook the favorite meal that your ex hated. This is the perfect time to analyze who you were before, who you were with your ex, and who you want to be in the future. You’re single and you’re healing from a breakup – it’s all about you!

5. Find your support circle and have more fun with your friends.

Just like you lose touch with yourself in a relationship, it’s easy to lose touch with your friends. Being part of a couple means you spend a lot of time with each other, and you might spend less time with your friends as you enjoy your partner more and more. Being single again means you can have quality time with your friends. Don’t spend that time bad-mouthing your ex, or even talking about the relationship or the breakup. Spend time catching up and having fun together.

6. Rededicate yourself to your hobbies and passion.

Due to spending so much time with your ex, your hobbies may have fallen to the wayside. You may have exchanged reading a book in bed at night for pillow talk. Did you stop making jewelry to sit on the couch and watch your ex’s favorite movies? Use this time to rediscover your hobbies and become more in tune with the person you once were.

7. Work out to take your mind off the negativity.

Nothing takes your mind off problems more than working out. (Even if it is because you spend every step of your run chanting, “I hate exercise, I hate exercise.”) Go for a run when you get home from work each afternoon. Join a gym and hit it up each morning before work. As an added bonus, if you join a gym, you’re going to get your body into shape, while increasing your chances of meeting someone new (when you’re ready)!

8. Recognize your self worth: you’re always amazing and you deserve real love.

This is the most important tip of all. Your relationship may have ended, but you’re not a failure because of that. Everyone has stories of failed relationships, and everyone gets past them. Just remember that you’re an amazing, interesting person. One relationship might not have worked out, but there are many other people out there just waiting to meet you. Get excited by the possibilities!

Last Updated: March 26, 2021 References

This article was co-authored by Cherlyn Chong. Cherlyn Chong is a breakup recovery and dating coach for high-achieving professional women who want to get over their exes and find love again. She is also an official coach for The League dating app, and has been featured on AskMen, Business Insider, Reuters and HuffPost.

There are 23 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 32,434 times.

Dealing with a breakup can be very difficult, whether you ended it or they did. Fortunately, things will get better! You can get over your breakup faster by boosting your mood with fun activities and small indulgences. Additionally, use healthy coping strategies to deal with your feelings. [1] X Expert Source

Cherlyn Chong
Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 21 June 2019. As soon as you can, start taking steps to move on with your life.

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

Cherlyn Chong
Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 21 June 2019. Here are some ways you could temporarily distract yourself from the breakup: [3] X Research source

  • Engage in your favorite hobby
  • Draw or paint something
  • Bake treats for your friends
  • Join a few friends for a pick up game of baseball, basketball, or football
  • Go for a hike
  • Browse your favorite shops
  • Host a game night with your friends
  • See a funny movie

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

Cherlyn Chong
Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 21 June 2019. Keeping yourself busy gives you less time to think about the breakup. This lessens how much you experience your negative emotions. Go to school or work, volunteer, catch up on errands, help out your friends or relatives, or take up a new hobby. Not only will your mind be off your breakup, but you’ll also be helping both yourself and others. [7] X Research source

  • For example, you could fill up your free time by enrolling in an art class, volunteering to care for dogs at the local shelter, and helping your grandmother do her weekly grocery shopping. You’ll get to meet new people, make a difference, and assist a loved one while also having a little fun.

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

Elizabeth Yuko

For some people, breakups are just a fact of life that we all have to get through from time-to-time — like vaccines or trips to the dentist. For others [raises hand], breakups feel so awful that they put them off dating completely. Regardless of which group you fall into, you’ve probably had to deal with at least one breakup and may have more in your future.

Though nothing can really prepare you for the sting of a breakup, there are ways to become more resilient and speed up your breakup recovery time. We spoke to several relationship experts and therapists to get some tips for how to get over a breakup with someone fast.

Put it in perspective

Yes, breakups — especially when you’re the person being dumped — hurt. But according to Dr. Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author of Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today , it may be a blessing in disguise. “You don’t have a relationship if the other person’s not really interested,” she tells SheKnows.

Embrace your feelings

After a breakup, no one is expecting you to be all sunshine and rainbows all the time. People understand that you need time to process your emotions — and you need to understand that, too. According to Victoria Tarbell, a licensed mental health counselor, if we try to pretend like breakups don’t hurt by ignoring our heartache, all we’re doing is creating bigger challenges for ourselves down the road. “It’s just like ignoring the sniffle that eventually turns into a full-blown sinus infection because you didn’t give yourself the necessary rest, hydration and vitamin intake,” she tells SheKnows. “Make it somewhat easier on yourself by dealing with it now and knowing that this will be your best bet for long-term healing.”

Swear off guilt

Guilt is like time payments — you can keep suffering forever, Tessia explains. Instead, do the grieving you need to do, figure out how you helped create the problems (or stayed around for them) and decide to change what didn’t work before. “Grieve all you need, but don’t exaggerate your feelings,” she adds.

Think of it as a learning experience

After you deal with the initial upset, review the dynamics of the relationship and analyze what went wrong, what you could have done differently and what you learned, Tessina advises. “There’s no need to give yourself a hard time about it, just process the information, so you don’t repeat mistakes,” she says.

Don’t wait around for closure

Ahhh, the elusive closure . It means something different to everyone, but chances are, you didn’t get it immediately after your breakup. But instead of waiting around for your ex to apologize, or for the two of you to sit down for a relationship post-mortem, try and move on without them.

“Closure requires getting truthful answers to your questions about what happened — to understand why [things ended],” Tessina says. “After a breakup, both of you are upset, hurt and guilty and probably won’t be telling the truth, even if you understand it. Neither of you really wants to hear the truth this soon. Longing to talk ‘just once more’ to your ex is just asking for pain.”

Put away the stuff that reminds you of your ex

This is easier said than done if you lived together, but try, as much as possible, to put away or get rid of your ex’s stuff or items that remind you of them. “You don’t need to throw anything away just yet, but get a plastic tub and put in it everything that your ex gave you and all of your pictures of you both,” Anita Stoudmire, a licensed therapist and dating and relationship coach tells SheKnows.

Don’t play the blame game

It’s easy to blame your ex for everything, but according to Tessina, if you do this, you’ll eventually turn that blame to yourself. So rather than issuing blame, try finding more neutral things to say, like, “we saw things differently,” or “we had some good years, then things changed,” she advises. And if your ex left you for someone else, don’t blame that person, either.

Focus on rebuilding your life

We only have so much time and energy, so rather than wasting it on your ex, work towards rebuilding your life. “Drama is not practical,” Tessina says, “it’s a negative fantasy. Focus on the practical things you need to do and think.”

Part of that involves getting your emotional, personal and financial life together as soon as you can. And consider it an opportunity, Tessnia suggests — think about all the things you now have time to do, and do some of them. Try things you would never have done before, or things you’ve always wanted to do. “Use the energy from your anger and grief, and channel them into doing things just for you,” she adds.

Take a weekend trip somewhere new

Sure, tips with friends are fun, but Stoudmire suggests traveling solo to a place you’ve never been before. “When you are in a new place, your brain is forced to put on hold all of the emotions and feelings you have about your break-up because it needs to take in new information about your surroundings,” she explains. “Your brain has to figure out how you’re going to get to where you’re going and where you will eat and sleep once you get there. It also won’t conjure up any ‘nostalgia’ as you have never been there before and nothing will remind you of your ex.”

Don’t forget about self-care

Breakups are a form of grieving, so give yourself the time, space and care you need. Part of that means surrounding yourself with supportive people. “Talk with sturdy friends and family about the feelings, doubts and worries,” Brittany Bouffard, a licensed psychotherapist tells SheKnows. “Soon, hashing details over and over again doesn’t feel helpful, so utilize others to reflect and reaffirm your abilities to move on.”

Like anything else, resilience takes practice and patience. In the meantime, take care of yourself, give yourself room to grieve and process your emotions and take this as an opportunity for a fresh start.

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

You’ve decided that it’s time to figure out how to get over a breakup and move on, but you’re not sure where to start.

Whether your breakup was sudden or your relationship had been dying a slow death, getting over a breakup can be really difficult. Your life has changed drastically, and not being paralyzed by it is very difficult.

Luckily, there are things that you can do now to get over a breakup and move on quickly.

Here are 5 steps you must take to learn how to get over a breakup and move on now.

1. Be determined.

The most important thing to do to ensure that you can effectively get over breakup in the quickest amount of time is to be determined. When you are trying to make big change, determination is an essential part of being able to do so.

Let’s say that you are trying to quit eating ice cream. You know that it’s not good for you and it keeps the weight on, so you have decided to make a go of quitting it.

But your heart isn’t truly in it, and you are pretty sure that after a day or two you are going to go right back to indulging. That is because you are “trying to quit,” you haven’t “decided to quit.”

Make sure that if you want to go down this path of doing the hard work to get over a breakup, you are determined to do it. If you go in with a half-hearted attitude that you are going to “try” to get over it, you will fail.

And when you fail, you will feel even worse about yourself and the end of the relationship. So, be determined.

2. Cut them off.

I know, I know. The prospect of cutting the person who you were with out of your life scares you.

You get a pit in your stomach that is sharp and painful. The anxiety you feel at the thought of not being in contact with them is overwhelming.

The thing is is that being in contact with your person is a surefire way to not be able to get over them. If you talk to them on the phone, they could talk you into getting back together, or you could miss them and take them back — even if you know you shouldn’t.

If you see them on Instagram or Facebook, hiking with friends or hanging out with someone they could possibly be interested in, it will only sabotage you moving on. You will feel like your person has moved on quickly, and that just won’t feel good.

If you hang out places where you know you will see them, you will be tempted to talk to them, or you will miss them from afar. If it’s at a bar especially, you could do something that might set you back in a big way.

So, push past the pain and anxiety and cut your person off. It will hurt in the short run, but it will make a big difference for you being able to successfully get over a breakup and move on.

3. Write it down.

One of the reasons that it’s hard for you to get over a breakup and move on is because of the tricks that your brain plays on you.

After you break up with someone or are broken up with, you no longer have time with your person. You’re no longer building up memories.

Instead, you are left with memories of things past. And for some reason, your brain only holds on to the good things — the things about your relationship that made you happy.

Perhaps the memories consist of how things were at the beginning, or the time you went to the Bahamas together, or the brewfest you attended last fall. Those were all positive parts of your relationship — the ones you hold onto.

The reality of the relationship might be somewhat different. Perhaps the person they were in the beginning is not at all the person they ended up being.

Perhaps in the Bahamas, they drank way too much and you spent a lot of time alone. Perhaps they were crabby at the end of the brewfest and you had to leave early. The brain doesn’t remember those things.

Make a list while you’re trying to get past a breakup of the things that weren’t good about the relationship. Even if you were broken up with suddenly, I would bet that if you did some soul-searching there would be things that were happening that you might have ignored.

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Write those things down. Having a list will make a big difference as you work to get over a breakup and moving on.

4. Let yourself mourn.

Your friends and family are probably telling you to “just move on.” And I agree that moving on is important to finding happiness — it is out there!

That being said, it’s important that you mourn the end of a relationship. When you get together with someone, you have huge hopes and dreams. If you’re together for a while, you have experiences together, good and bad.

When you break up, you lose someone in your life. Someone you had hoped you might be with forever.

So, take some time. Be sad. Be angry. Be hurt. Eat ice cream on the couch while binge-watching The Umbrella Academy. Feel the pain. And then let it go.

If you stuff all of the pain that you are feeling over this breakup down into your body, it will very hard to release. It’s important that you feel the feelings and then let them go. Only by doing so can you get over a breakup and move on.

Another key part of the mourning process is taking stock of what went wrong and the role that you played in it. You will be in another relationship someday, and you don’t want to make the same mistakes twice.

Whether it’s choosing the wrong person or being clingy or whatever, making the same mistakes twice will only hurt you in the end.

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

How to get over a breakup fast and move on with life

How does one get over a breakup fast?

I thought that if I could just get that answer that I would be able to crack the case. Then I could get over this terrible feeling I had in me.

Looking back at my breakup season, I somehow remembered that it wasn’t that long.

I distinctly remember the period of the breakup where I was depressed, angry, and lonely.

Then my memories show me jumping back into the dating scene, dating multiple guys as once. I was totally living out this “Sex and the City” sort of lifestyle.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure that THE REBOUND SEASON was due to me actually NOT getting over my breakup. I mean, it had only been a year. But make no mistake, I was certainly not crawled up in my bed, stalking my ex anymore.

So if my memory served me correctly, I got over my break up within the first six months. That is until I found my old breakup diary.

And the pages don’t lie. That book had dated well over 100 days of me gushing over my ex. I penned how absolutely miserable I was since we broke up. Sure enough, all those wild club days, and crazy interactions with rebound men were all written in there as well. Yet, there I was, still angry and cussing my ex out long after six months.

I guess getting over that breakup wasn’t so fast.

Now that I’m married with kids, and my life has been completely transformed, I want to look back. I want to ask the question, “Is there such a way to actually get over a breakup fast?”

Sure, when I was actually going through my own breakup experience, I made a TON of mistakes. Like, a TON. Is there anything here that can be salvaged? For the sake of someone like you who is now reading this? And who does NOT want to endure the painful season??

What’s a girl gotta do to get over a breakup fast? Let me go ahead and break this down for you! In this video, I tell you the truth about what you can do to get over a breakup FAST! Click below to enjoy this video!

I just want to go ahead and be completely honest with you.

There is no formula, logic, algorithm as to how fast you can get over a breakup.

I used to, back in the day, go by the tip from “Sex and the City” where Charlotte said it’s going to take half of the amount of the relationship to fully get over your ex or your break up. If I dated someone for two and a half years, I thought FOR SURE by a year and a quarter would be over this guy… Mmmmm, doesn’t really work, Okay?

I don’t want to go ahead and tell you that there is a fast way, but there are some things that you might want to consider to help you move along and kind of SPEED UP the process of how you can get over your breakup and into that new season.

Really analyze why the break-up happened in the first place. How exactly do you analyze a breakup? I’m glad you asked that question! I have this resource for you called “The Break-Up Breakdown” and is literally a workbook that you can do, that you can download today that will help you ask these detailed questions you might not have thought about during the breakup and about your ex. It’s going to help you draw the conclusion of why this breakup happened in the first place.

Once you start to understand why this happened you can be able to say, “Okay, because this is WHY it happened, I’m in a position to say,

a) I deserve better and so my standards are going to be raised,

b) I was not valued or treated right the way I should have been so, therefore, it’s going to be easier for me to look for something better, and…

c) what I have in the future is going to be better for me because that is God’s will and if you trust God with your love life, and if you trust that He has His best for you, then knowing that truth and standing on that truth should help you move this process along a little bit faster.

Listen, sister, I’ve been through plenty of breakups! I know what it’s like. I know what’s it’s like to go back and start second-guessing yourself and start asking yourself, you know, “Why did this happen?” or “Why was I in it for so long?”And what ends up happening is that when we put ourselves in that position we start to tear ourselves down!

If this relationship with everything that it was supposed to be, and if this man was everything he was supposed to be and everything that you wanted him to be, then a breakup would have never been in the light. Focus on that and focus on your worth.

Again, if you’re trying to figure out this break up then check out “The Break-Up Breakdown“, and if you’re in the season where you want to work on yourself and go ahead and download my handout the “Four Keys Every Single Woman Needs to Live a Life That They Love!” Once you develop those keys and unlock this life, I promise you, you’re not going to think twice about this relationship.