Most people misunderstand mentoring — I certainly did. For the longest time, I said I wanted a mentor but didn’t understand what that even meant. That is, until someone pulled me aside, invested in me, and taught me what a mentor really was.
I see a lot of young people approaching mentoring the wrong way.
They ask a leader they admire to mentor them, forcing the person into an awkward position in which she feels bad for saying “no” or obligated to say “yes.” But this is not how mentoring works.
Common misconceptions of mentoring
I have a passion to see that change. There is a lot of misunderstanding about how mentoring works, including how to begin a relationship with a mentor. Here are some of them:
- Mentoring is about me.
- I need to wait for a mentor to find me.
- Being mentored is more passive than active.
- I need to ask someone to mentor me up-front.
Face it: Everything you know about mentoring may be wrong. It’s time to start seeking out a mentor the right way. In finding a mentor, there are 10 important steps I’ve found that usually work:
1. Find someone you want to be like
Don’t just find someone who has a job you want or a platform that you covet.
Find someone that is like you, someone with a similar set of strengths and skills you want to emulate. Otherwise, you’ll just end up frustrated.
Spend some time finding the right person. In fact, have several candidates before committing to a single mentor.
2. Study the person
Follow his blog. Get to know people who know him.
If you don’t know the person well, see if he is really like his public persona projects.
Make sure you understand his strengths and weaknesses. Set your expectations realistically.
3. Make the “ask”
Don’t ask for the person to “be your mentor” right off the bat. That’s a big ask. Far too big for the first meeting.
Rather, ask for an initial meeting — something informal, over coffee maybe. Keep it less than an hour.
Come with questions that you’re prepared to ask, but let the conversation flow relationally. (Note: the formality really depends on the potential mentor’s communication style — something you should be aware of before the initial meeting.)
When in doubt about when to make the ask, just go for it. (That’s what I do, and it usually works.)
4. Evaluate the fruit
After meeting, do you want to spend more time with this person?
Did she begin the meeting by encouraging you or telling you what to do? Did she ask questions, or wait to provide answers?
Did you leave the meeting feeling better about yourself? Was a connection made? If not, feel free to let the relationship go and seek out someone else, instead. You don’t have time to waste on a self-centered tyrant.
If it went well, then immediately put together a follow-up plan.
5. Follow up after the meeting
This is not like dating. It’s okay to appear overly ambitious. You want this person to know that you’re serious.
It’s appropriate to follow up immediately, thanking your prospective mentor for her time.
A good way to do this is via email or other form of passive communication, so that you don’t appear overbearing or waste the person’s time.
This is also a good time to mention that you’d like to do it again. If she reciprocates, offer to get something on the calendar. (You may need to suggest a time.)
Make sure that it feels relaxed and not contrived. You’re still vetting each other at this point.
6. Let the relationship evolve organically
We sometimes place too high of expectations on mentoring. We want to give it a name, because it gives us a sense of status and importance. But really it’s just a relationship.
Mentoring is organic. It’s healthy to let it grow like any other relationship — over time and based on mutual respect and trust.
Don’t force it. That will kill a potential mentoring relationship faster than anything. Give it time; it needs to grow.
7. Don’t check out when you feel challenged
I was recently speaking with a friend who’s mentored a number of young men over the years. He said the saddest part about what he does is that a lot of guys check out whenever he challenges them.
It will happen. You’ll get to a point where your mentor will feel comfortable enough to call you out. And what you do next is crucial to your growth.
Remember: this is what you signed up for. Don’t wimp out when it gets tough; this is where the really good stuff happens.
8. Press into relationship
Don’t wait for the mentor to initiate. Learn how to manage up. Persevere. Ask for more of your mentor without demanding it.
This doesn’t bother him (at least, it shouldn’t). It honors him. It shouldn’t be a big deal to ask this person to coffee or lunch, outside of your normal meeting time.
If a mentor can’t be a friend, then he’s probably not a mentor. Finding ways to solidify the bond you’ve created will only strengthen the relationship.
9. Ask your mentor for feedback
Feedback can be hard, but it’s good. As your relationship with your mentor progresses, this will be the #1 way you grow. It will be a highlight for the both of you.
While asking for feedback may initially feel weird, eventually it will become almost second-nature. You will find yourself thirsting for those words you used to fear.
Similarly, a good mentor will treat these times with great care and sensitivity.
10. Commit to the process
You can’t be mentored in a summer. That’s an internship. Mentoring takes real time and real work.
In order for it to be a real mentorship, you have to commit to the relationship. Come hell or high water, you’re going to make it work.
Then, you will begin to understand what it means to be a student, a disciple, a protege.
Do you have a mentor? How did you find him or her? Share your mentoring experience in the comments.
- 1 Overview
- 2 A helping hand
- 3 Dream potion
- 4 Dreamland
- 5 Rewards
- 6 Required for completing
Overview [ edit | edit source ]
- Twenty pieces of 3 kinds of food (purple sweets and Mint cakes cannot be used; stackable foods, such as holy biscuits, will be counted as a single piece of food; cake can be used in all 3 pieces)
- An easy way to acquire the food items is to use the lodestone teleport to Port Sarim, which brings you right next to the food shop, and then lodestone teleport right back to Lunar Isle.
- Cabbages, onions, and potatoes can be found within Rellekka. To use fewer inventory spots, you can fill the vegetables into empty sacks, or alternatively bring uncut pineapples.
- Goutweed (double check your bank in case you saved a spare while completing Eadgar’s Ruse)
- 1 Astral rune
- A good weapon and armour
- Food (bring the highest-healing food for your level)
- A ring of recoil can be useful, especially for players low on food
- Being on the lunar spells and having runes for the NPC Contact spell
A helping hand [ edit | edit source ]
- Enter the mine in the north-east area of Lunar Isle.
- Crawl-through the cave entrance (quest minimap icon).
- Talk to the fallen man (close the interface when it appears). ( ✓ ) …
|1||Just don’t worry.|
Raising his spirit
|Answer #1||Answer #2|
|You seem like a nice guy.||Just being honest.|
|When we get out of here I’ll buy you a drink!||Whatever and wherever you want – my treat.|
|I’m very impressed you managed to get into this cave.||I would have given up personally.|
|You’ll survive this easily.||Think of all the places you can visit when you get out!|
|What are you going to do when you get out of here?||That’s up to you. You could travel with me!|
|It’s a good thing you have me to look after you.||Not that I’m bragging or anything.|
|Not long now and you’ll be back on your feet!||On whether you mind me helping you further.|
|You’re sounding much better.||If you need anything, just let me know.|
|It’s quite cozy in here.||The perfect environment for getting back on your feet!|
|You’re very safe in this little cave.||The suqah will never fit through that tunnel.|
|Just don’t worry.||Of course.|
|You’re looking better now.||Well, you look and sound more lively.|
|Are you looking forward to getting out?||That’s the spirit!|
|Tell me a bit about yourself.||Fishing!|
- Talk to him and raise his spirit as before
- Repeat until a short cutscene plays and he sits up.
- Feed him 6 more food.
- Talk to him and raise his spirit until he stands up.
- Raise his health and spirit to full.
- Talk to ‘Bird’s-Eye’ Jack in the bank. ( 2 ) …
2 Cyrisus in the mine 1 Talk about the Armament
Dream potion [ edit | edit source ]
- Talk to the Oneiromancer at the astral altar for a dream vial. ( 2 ) …
Dreamland [ edit | edit source ]
- Light the Ceremonial Brazier in the long hall building, near the lodestone.
- Talk to Cyrisus. ( 1 ) …
1 Yes, let’s go! 2 Cyrisus
Rewards [ edit | edit source ]
- 2 quest points
- 15,000 experience
- 10,000 experience
- A dreamy lamp, which will give you 15,000 experience in a combat skill from the following – Strength, Ranged, Magic, Constitution, or Defence
- 8 new spells added to the Lunar spellbook:
- Monster Examine
- Hunter Kit
- Stat Spy
- Plank Make
- Spin Flax
- Spellbook Swap
- Access to the ‘Random’ option on NPC Contact
- 2 Treasure Hunter keys and 2 Hearts of Ice (Ironman accounts will not receive these)
- Down and Out – upon entering the cave with Cyrisus
- On the Up – during the cutscene when Cyrisus stands up
Required for completing [ edit | edit source ]
Dream Mentor is directly required for the following quests/miniquests:
Grow Your Business, Not Your Inbox
A mentor’s hindsight can become your foresight on the path to success. There are few investments in your life that will yield higher rewards and greater acceleration to success than a great mentor. These leaders light the way before you with their experience, helping you to avoid common pitfalls and mistakes they’ve made and experienced. Every entrepreneur needs a mentor, so if you haven’t got one right now, it’s time to invest some time into finding the right one for you.
Here’s the catch: How you approach your mentor is critical. Remember, you aspire to be like this person, because he or she is already at the top of their game. That means they’re busy with their own business, family and life. You need to give them a reason to want to devote some time to you. Why should they talk to or mentor you?
The truth is most great leaders love to mentor, but they want to be approached in the right way. (You are surely not the first, and won’t be the last, to ask for their time and help). So before you blaze down their door or email inbox with your request, keep the following tips and etiquette in mind when approaching your desired mentor.
Research what they already offer. Before you ask them to give you something (like their time), do some research to see if they already offer any programs. Do they provide a class or seminar you could try first to gain access to them? What about an upcoming conference lecture or speaker series you could attend? Have you already read all their books and heard all their podcasts? If not, get on it. Asking them to give you something for nothing if they make part of their living from formalized mentoring is not a good move. So before you build up the courage to confront them for a one-on-one meeting, try out the mentoring relationship through any formal program your mentor already offers.
Approach them with a winning proposition. If you’re going to request for input or guidance from a mentor, value his time and respect him enough to suggest a winning proposition. Not sure what a winning proposition entails? Well here is a losing one: “I have a question, can you help me?” What’s in it for them? And just who are you again?
Instead of asking for a single answer, Josh Shipp, author of Jump Ship: Turn Your Passion Into A Profession, approached a mentor by providing a summary question and three ideas for a solutions to the problem. Then he simple asked the mentor which one he thought was the wisest. By using this techniques, you are showing you are proactive and respectful of their time.
Follow through, then follow up. One of the greatest disappointments a mentor faces is when she takes the time to share her advice and mentor someone, only to have the mentee completely disregard or otherwise abandon the advice. If you are going to take the time or spend the money to ask for help from the mentor of your dreams, be prepared to do your part and actually implement her advice. Nothing is more frustrating than being asked for insight and then having the mentee be too lazy or too stubborn to heed the information they were given.
Be prepared to put on your big-kid boots and pull yourself up to the level of advice you’re asking for from your mentor. Make sure you recognize the help that was provided by your mentor and thank them for the advice.
If you aren’t ready to follow through and use the information they give you, then don’t ask for help.
The benefits of having mentors during the course of your career are pretty much endless. They provide you with knowledge, show you areas you can improve, and help you make connections.
But you already know that a mentor is a must-have to grow yourself professionally.
Since you’ve already decided to find one, we’re here to provide you with the framework to land the mentor of your dreams. With this foolproof guide, you’re sure to find a mentor that’s the right fit for you.
And you’ll find out the best way to get them to work with you!
Table of Contents
1. Identify Your Perfect Mentor
First and foremost, don’t go into your search thinking anyone is out of your league.
You need a winning attitude from the very start. Don’t assume people aren’t interested in mentoring you. You never know how anyone really feels. You may be surprised by what you find.
How Do I Identify My Perfect Mentor?
Start coming up with a few people that fit the idea of what you want in a mentor. Think of people who you admire and whose values align with your own.
Make sure you do your research!
Read, watch, and listen to as much of your prospective mentor’s work as possible. See what you can learn about what they have to offer before approaching them.
It’s a good idea to have at least three people in mind you’d like to pursue for your mentorship. Make a list of anyone you think would make a great mentor for you, no matter how long or short it is.
2. Know What You Have to Offer
The last thing you want to do is show up to the table empty-handed. That’s a surefire way to end a mentorship before it even begins.
This is where your research will start coming in handy.
How Do I Know What I Have to Offer?
Take a look at what the person you hope to be your mentor is doing. What is their social media presence like? What events are they putting on?
And most importantly: What can you do to help them?
Think of it this way — if someone has the skills and work ethic to make you want them as a mentor, they’re probably a busy person. You shouldn’t ask for their valuable time and help without adding to the relationship.
So, think about what skills you have and how you can put them to use.
3. Approach Them With Confidence
Now it’s time to lay down your proposition. Do so as if you know for sure they’re going to say yes.
It won’t do you any good to be timid.
How Should I Approach My Prospective Mentor?
If at all possible, approach them in person. It’s best to have this conversation face-to-face. A phone call or video should be your second choice.
At least then you can use your voice. Email is the last resort.
Don’t be afraid to show them how much you admire them.
Bring up examples of their work that inspired you and made you want to pursue them as your mentor. Show them that you did your research and you are confident that they’re the right mentor for you.
They’ll appreciate how serious you are about working with them!
4. Take Plenty of Initiative
Don’t expect your mentor to do absolutely everything for you. They’re not here to take you by the hand and lead you.
You’re a competent adult. You should already have a good idea of how this person can help you and what you want out of the relationship.
How Do I Take the Initiative?
Always have a plan for meetings with your mentor.
Know ahead of time what questions you want to ask or what you need to talk about. Better yet, set up the meetings yourself. Do your due diligence and find out when your mentor is most likely to be free.
Bring a time and place to them instead of asking what they want to do.
In the end, this relationship is here to help you advance your career. They are where you want to be, which is why you picked them.
Chances are, they got where they are because they work hard. Don’t waste their time or yours by being unprepared.
5. Follow Up on Their Advice
Whatever advice your mentor gives you, jump on it as quickly as you can. Implementing their solutions shows you’re getting the most out of your mentorship.
Once you’ve put their advice into action, always follow up with them.
How Should I Follow Up?
Let them know exactly what you did and how it turned out. Was the outcome what you expected or did it go another way? Did it end up going well or not so well?
Here’s the deal: communication is key to a successful mentorship.
Bonus Tip: What to Do If Your First Choice Says No
Sometimes things just don’t go as planned. It’s nothing you did wrong. The stars just didn’t align on this one and that’s okay.
It’s still possible to get something out of being told no if you know where to go from there.
What’s My Next Step After Hearing “No”?
If you’re dead set on having this person as your mentor, you have questions to ask. First, ask them if they’re open to revisiting the idea of a mentorship later down the line when they have more time.
If you’re okay with moving on, ask them for a recommendation. They may know someone else who suits you and is willing to take on the role of mentor.
By keeping the lines of communication open you show them that you’re serious
about furthering yourself and your career. In some cases, you may just change their mind with your tenacity.
Landing the mentor of your dreams is a combination of attitude and finding the right fit. More often than not, people are happy to mentor others because they had a great mentor themselves.
And maybe one day you will find that you’re someone else’s dream mentor.
Following these steps is a proven way to make the best impression on someone you admire.
Once you find your mentor, they’ll want to help you become an even better version of you.
Ryan Sundling is a Group Marketing Manager at Cardinal Group Management and works closely with Wildwood Baton Rouge to help them with their marketing efforts. He has over ten years of experience in the student housing industry.
Ramit may have doubled his business over the years, but he didn’t get there alone. He’s not ashamed to admit that he sought out a trusted advisor, which helped him make $100,000 in one month. Yep, you read that right.
Wondering how to find a mentor and see results like this for yourself? For Ramit, it all started when he bought a book by Jay Abraham called Getting Everything You Can Out of All You’ve Got . This inspired him to buy a seat in a program Abraham was launching for small business owners. Each month for 15 months, Ramit flew from NYC to LA to not only learn from his hero but to surround himself with a community of like-minded, inspired entrepreneurs. This year+ changed the course of his career and launched him towards great success.
Amazing stuff, right? Ramit realized the benefits of working with a mentor were:
- Firm but friendly advice on how to advance in your career or business
- Accountability, a mentor will help you stick to your business or career goals
- Fresh ideas and a sounding board to test out your own
- Career coaching to help you advance down your dream career path
No matter if you’re 20 years in or just starting out, everyone can benefit from the advice of someone who’s done it before.
How to find a mentor that’s right for you
Ready to get started? Here are some top tips for seeking a mentor if you don’t already have someone in mind.
Find that special someone you admire
Finding a mentor is unsurprisingly all about choosing the right person. If you don’t already have a dream mentor in mind, there are a few exercises you can do to find that special someone.
- What do you want to be like in 10 years? Time for some daydreaming. Imagine your life in 10 years, what does it look like? Who do you want to be like?
- Identify what you want in a mentor. Do you want someone you feel comfortable with or would you prefer someone who says it how it is? Are you looking for someone who has overcome the challenges you’re facing right now?
- Make a list of people you know or admire and check who meets all your criteria. Your dream mentor doesn’t have to be someone you know personally. It could be someone on social media or an author of your favorite business book.
Learn everything you can about them
Once you’ve made your choice, it’s time to learn everything about this person you can. Preferably in a non-creeper way. You don’t need to know how they take their coffee but you should read up on their background. Learn about their experience, how they got where they are and the reasons behind their success.
This will put you in a great position to approach them because the information you learn here will be crucial to succeeding in the next step.
Approach your dream mentor
How you approach your dream mentor is all about first impressions. First off, let’s take a look at what you shouldn’t do.
The most common reasons people get rejected when they ask someone to be a mentor is because:
- They come off as desperate or weird
- They’re arrogant and irritating
- They’re lazy and haven’t done their research
The chances are the person you’re asking is busy all the time. That means you need to work hard to get their attention , not waste their time and show you’ve done your research. If you ask vague or bland questions, you’re probably not going to get a response.
The simplest and easiest way to get in touch with a potential mentor is through email. Here are three simple steps to approach your mentor and get them to say “yes!”
Step 1: Focus on them
You’re trying to get their attention in a sea of thousands of emails. Make sure your opening is punchy, to the point, and of course, about them.
You can do this in a lot of ways but Ramit’s 1-2-3 Choice Technique is a simple way to introduce yourself. It goes a little like this:
“Hi [mentor’s name], I loved your [talk at X/your blog/book] and really liked the part where you said XYZ. I’m trying it out but I’m stuck on something. I have 3 options to try out next:
- Choice 1
- Choice 2
- Choice 3
I’d love to hear your thoughts on what you think I should do next.”
This achieves several things. It shows you’ve done your research, you’re already putting their advice into practice, you value their opinion and want more of their advice.
Best of all from the mentor’s side is they just have to do one simple thing — pick one choice and explain why. A direct question like this will have a much better response rate and leaves a great first impression.
Step 2: Make them interested in you
The next step is to spin it around to you. Why are you interesting? What skills do you have? What’s your background?
When you email your mentor, don’t leave it generic . Be specific, be engaging. When you tell them what you do, give examples or even samples of your work. Don’t say “I’m great at writing sales emails.” Instead say, “I’ve helped [company] increase their email list by X in three months.” That second line is much harder to ignore. It’s direct, it’s specific, and it shows your value instantly.
If you can tie this into something relevant to the mentor’s business or current needs, even better. What the mentor wants to know is who are you and how do you make their life easier? What’s in it for them?
Step 3: Give them an offer they can’t refuse
You’ll want to make whatever you’re asking for easy to say yes to. So, what can you offer?
It could be offering to do some work for free in exchange for advice. If you can help your mentor out on a side project they just don’t have time for, it becomes easy for them to say yes.
Just as a side note, if this all seems like an overwhelming amount of information to throw at a potential mentor, don’t worry. You don’t have to pile your life story into one golden email. If, in Step 1 or 2 you can prompt the mentor to give a response, you can then follow up with Step 3 if that feels more natural.
Be the best mentee
If your potential mentor agrees to work with you, congratulations! You just tapped into one of the best keys to professional growth you can get. But the work doesn’t stop there. You still need to make sure you’re a good mentee.
The mentor-mentee relationship is all about give and take. Make sure you listen and more importantly, put their advice to action. A good mentor will hold you accountable and push you to succeed, so don’t waste their time. This will be key to a good long-term mentoring relationship that works for both of you.
Now that you know how to find a mentor, go on … find your Mr. Miyagi, your Dumbledore, your Yoda. Ramit did and now look at him.
Having a skilled mentor can get you closer to living your Rich Life.
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Full Transcription for the video lesson below:
Welcome, I’m Farnoosh Brock. I’m a career expert that helps you get promoted and create your ideal career, and today we talk about a three-step process that helps you land your ideal mentor.
Now, if you’re not sure why you need a mentor to be successful, please make sure to watch the video I made earlier because everyone that has had any level of success in corporate or in business has had more than one mentor.
Now, let’s talk about a three-step process that helps you get the ideal mentor for you.
Finding a Mentor: Who is Right for You?
Number one, I call it “The acquisition of the mentor,” if you will.
Who’s going to be your mentor? Well, think about the people that you admire. Now, mentors are people internal to your company, as opposed to coaches that would be outside the company. So, think about people that you admire as leaders, as professionals, as great people, successful people, and identify three to five people you would love to have as your mentors.
Don’t be shy here because don’t think that people are out of your reach, out of your league- think that everyone is a fair game. And, if you have no idea, then look at the people who are successful at your level or a little above you and approach them and ask them if they have ever had a mentor, and if they are willing to share who that was. So, this gives you some ideas on how to identify the top three to five people that would be your great mentors.
The Simple Technique on How to Approach the Mentor
So the next step is “Interacting with the mentor” – approaching the mentor.
This is the second step in the process. Now, when you do this, you need to go into this confidently. You don’t need to think of this as you asking them a favor which is what most people think about, and to be honest with you, the mentor gets a lot of satisfaction and reward from the relationship assuming it’s a gratifying, good relationship between the two of you. I had a fantastic mentor who was an extremely successful and busy woman back in my corporate job, and she told me that my success showed her the reward she needed from the relationship.
So don’t be shy. You approach the mentor, and usually this is in person if you can manage that, or on the phone. The last resort is email. When you approach them, maybe you include these things in your communication:
Number one; show that you admire this person, their leadership qualities, what they have done for the company. Maybe there are specifics that you can mention in terms of their accomplishments.
And then, tell them that you are looking for someone to help you grow professionally. Tell them that you would love that person to be them, and you would love to enter into a mentoring relationship with them.
Then, tell them what you hope to get out of this mentoring relationship and what you hope to put into it; what you intend to put into it.
So, include this in the communication either in person, your first choice, and then if not, over the phone or in email, and go ahead and have this interaction.
Exactly What to Say when Mentor Says Yes. Or No.
The last step of the process, the third step, is “The follow-up,” or the reaction, or the thing that you do after you hear back from the mentor.
So, how many ways can this go? They say, “Sure, I’d love to be your mentor,” and then you move on to developing a successful, mentoring relationship.
But, the other one that scares most of us is what if they reject us, and here is the deal: they don’t reject you as a person- they just turn down this particular proposal or opportunity, if you will. So, if that happens, here are a couple of things you can do:
- You can ask them whether they would be willing to consider this in 6 months or 9 months when maybe things get easier or they have more time to invest.
- Another question that you want to ask is, whether they can think of someone else that could serve as your mentor. So continue the dialogue so that they see you are serious, you’re serious about yourself, about developing yourself as a professional, and that you put some thought into this.
You didn’t just ask them a random question, and you may be surprised first of all that they may change their mind, and if not, they may put you in touch with other people who may serve as a great mentor for you.
So, that’s the three-step process, and to recap really quickly:
- It’s the “acquisition of the mentor”
- It’s the “approaching the mentor” and interacting with them
- And then, it’s your “reaction and following up” after the mentor has responded to you.
Put that process in place and go get yourself a great mentor. If you want to find out more about me, come visit me at fasttrackpromotion.com, and I’ll talk to you in the next video. Bye!
Finding a Mentor Is Just One Piece of the Puzzle
For more strategies on advancing your career, check out Crack the Code to Get Promoted. It’s my comprehensive training kit for the serious corporate professional.
A few days ago, I was reading a piece by one of my favorite bloggers and it started like this: “There will come a moment when all that matters to you is that you experience growth, not comfort. When that time comes, it will shake your world up. It will cause you to expand into areas of thought that you never thought possible”. As I read those first sentences, the words jumped out at me, and me stand up.
Those first few sentences resonated strongly with me because it took me back to how I felt at the beginning of this year. I have noticed many of us desire growth, but we never really actively work towards it. On the other hand, some of us actually start to work towards it, but we never grow all the way because we lack a few things. One of the things that I discovered going into this year, is that I had been lacking having a mentor, specifically for my career path.
The truth is many of us have people we look up to from a distance. We admire them, we even observe what they do and try to emulate them. Very often, I would hear people refer to such individuals as their mentors. Can we really regard them as mentors if there is no interaction with them at all?
Can you imagine if these same people you refer to as your mentors actually had conversations with you on a monthly basis or quarterly basis? Imagine you being able to reach out to them whenever you needed advice, insight or help navigating a difficult stage in your life, job, business, academics or ministry. When these kind of interactions begin to happen, that’s where active mentoring takes place.
A mentor is someone who takes the initiative to join you on your life’s journey and willingly helps you become all that you were born to be, so that you are able to do all that you were born to do. A mentor can also be described as someone who gives you a vital push at a certain stage in your life and without whom you may not have done so well.
Sounds like a real life superhero right? Believe the hype! A great mentor is an invaluable asset to anyone who wants to grow. But how does one approach and connect with a mentor especially when the person is far away or sometimes has no idea that you need them? I will share three steps I have learned to use this year.
Step 1: Identify your Mentor
Approaching the right mentor to come along on your journey is extremely critical. In very rare cases, will your mentor approach you offering ‘mentoring’ services. Usually, it’s the person who wants to be mentored who will need to take the initiative.
In this step, it is also very important that you have a good grasp on who you are, where you want to go, and most importantly, why you need a mentor. You can’t invite someone to help you on your journey if you have no idea where you want to go.
After you have answered these questions, you can now begin to look for someone you would want to have by your side on your journey – as a student, wife, parent, entrepreneur, working professional, creative etc.
Great mentors have a variety of characteristics but here are a few that you can be on the lookout for. A great mentor is someone:
- Who has achieved what you hope to achieve, and could potentially provide you a platform to get started.
- Who could give you advice or insight and help you see the bigger picture.
- Who has values you would want to emulate.
- That can help you navigate difficult terrain.
After identifying this person, get your hands on any material about the person, do your research so that you are able to establish if the person is a good match.
Step 2: Making the First Connection
You will need to reach out. This is usually where most of us get stuck because we don’t know what to say. You can reach out physically if the person is close by, but if the person is in another city or country, you will need to reach out virtually. Email is a great way to make a first connection, but when email fails, try social media. In addition, if you know someone who already knows your mentor, you can ask the person to make an introduction on your behalf.
When it comes to what you have to say, keep it simple. Start by telling the person a little about who you are. Next, tell the person where you are right now and where you are hoping to go. This is a great time to share your story. Follow up with why you need a mentor and end by telling the person why you want him/her to mentor you. Be honest. Be real. Mentors see through ‘fakeness’ and flattery.
Step 3: The Pursuit
This can be one of the hardest aspects of establishing an active mentoring relationship. But when you know how valuable a mentor can be to your success, you’ll take this last step seriously. The pursuit involves following up, especially when the mentor is far away, in a different city, country or time zone. You will need to be deliberate and intentional about communicating, asking questions, and giving your mentor feedback on what is happening with you, so they are able to give you the input you need for your next step.
Be serious about the mentoring relationship. Even when you aren’t having that physical interaction in person, endeavor to keep learning from them. If they have books, blogs, or other material- read them. If they are active on social media – participate with them on those platforms. If they are members of a particular organization, volunteer at that organization. Observe what they do, and always keep a book of questions.
Finally, this year I’ve learnt and seen first-hand how valuable having an active mentor is for one’s growth. Mentors are growth catalysts that many of us are not exploring. My dad said something few months ago, that I can’t forget: “When people don’t know what they can become, what they have become blinds them.”.
That’s what I love about mentors- they make sure we see much more than we possibly could by ourselves. So take the plunge today, find a mentor who is willing to come along on your journey. Happy Growing!
Do you have an inspiring mentorship story to share?
About Ayanfe Olonade
Ayanfe Olonade is the founder of Resonae Solutions, a strategic communications company that specializes in helping brands who want to make a social impact fix their content and use their story to capture and engage their target audience and customers. Ayanfe has successfully brought her expertise in content development and storytelling to a variety of industries with experience cutting across academic, financial, international development, and advertising sectors.
Details [ edit | edit source ]
- 85 Combat
- Completion of the following quests:
- Lunar Diplomacy
- The Fremennik Trials
- Lost City
- Rune Mysteries
- Shilo Village
- Jungle Potion
- Eadgar’s Ruse
- Druidic Ritual
- Troll Stronghold
- Death Plateau
- Lunar Diplomacy
- The ability to defeat 4 powerful monsters without the use of prayer
- A seal of passage
- 3 Different kinds of food: 6 of 1 type and 7 of 2 others for a total of 20 pieces (Sacks of cabbages, potatoes and onions can be used as they each contain 10 piece of their respective food and only require a total of 3 inventory slots)
- An astral rune
- A tinderbox
- A hammer
- A pestle and mortar
- A good weapon(trident of the seas recommended because they have no magic defence), good armour, good food such as sharks, and super potion sets.
Walkthrough [ edit | edit source ]
Helping the fallen man [ edit | edit source ]
Items required: 3 Kinds of food, 6-7 of each, Seal of Passage.
- Travel to Lunar Isle.
- Enter the mine in the north-east area of Lunar Isle.
- Crawl through the cave entrance ( Quest minimap icon).
- Talk to the fallen man, follow the dialogue and close the interface when it appears.
- Feed him 4 food, starting with one you have seven of, while cycling through your different foods. Avoid using the same food twice in a row.
- Talk to him again. ( 1 • 1 ) …
1 Just don’t worry. 1 Of course. 2 Cyrisus in the mine
Use NPC Contact spell to make sure you get the right things for him. If your combat level is determined by your magic/range level, select different equipment
Return and talk to Cyrisus for a cutscene. ( 1 ) …
1 Talk about the Armament
Dream potion [ edit | edit source ]
- Talk to the Oneiromancer at the astral altar for a dream vial. ( 2 ) …
Dreamland [ edit | edit source ]
Items required: Dream potion, good food, armour, weapon and a tinderbox.
For a detailed explanation of how to combat the upcoming enemies, refer to the full quest guide.
Note: You cannot use Prayer. You cannot use emergency teleports – the only way to leave during the fight is using the lectern.
Magic Strategy 1: If you have Ancient Magicks unlocked, a simple strategy would be to bring runes for Blood Burst and Ice Burst. Setting your staff to autocast Blood Burst while manually casting Ice Burst to freeze the enemy as needed. The Burst spells area of effect damage works well against the multiple Doubt’s which spawn around you. The healing effect of Blood Burst can keep you alive if you run out of food.
In this article, we are going to talk about the Dream mentor OSRS quest, which is from the second last quest from the Fremennik series and takes place on Lunar Isle. What will you do in the Dream mentor OSRS quest? In this quest, you must help a fellow adventurer that doesn’t do so well against threats.
With perseverance and the magical help of the Moon Clan, there should be no monster that can’t be defeated. But is that true? How about the monsters in your dreams? How about your inescapable fears? How would you defeat them? Well, you’ll soon find out so let’s start this quest.
Requirements and Items For the Dream Mentor OSRS
This quest doesn’t need too many requirements, first and very important is that you need to complete the other quest from the Fremennik series. The names of the quest are The Fremennik Trials, Lunar Diplomacy, and other quests like Lost City, Rune Mysteries, Shilo Village, Jungle Potion, Eadgar’s Ruse, Druidic Ritual, Troll Stronghold, Death Plateau.
The last requirement for the Dream mentor OSRS is to have 85 Combat. Moving on to the items, you need a seal of passage, 3 Different kinds of food that are edible, Goutweed, astral rune, Tinderbox, Hammer, pestle and mortar, dragon dagger, good armour, good food such as sharks, and super potion sets.
Helping The Fallen Man
To start the Dream mentor OSRS you must go to Lunar Isle, after that head north-east from the bank, and go down the mine. Then crawl through the passageway to reach the fallen man south-east of where you entered the cave.
Inspect the fallen man and help him, this will open a status screen. You will need to increase his three stat bars, in this order: health, spirit, and armament. To feed him, you should take three kinds of food.
It doesn’t matter what kind of food, take seven pieces of two kinds and six of the third. Cyrisus will reject any type of food that he has eaten recently, either the last piece of food or the one before that. Use the one piece of the two foods that you have seven of on Cyrisus to feed him, followed by the one that you have six of.
Continue feeding him in this order until the chat box says he doesn’t need any more food. If he refuses the food, you already fed it to him recently, so just give him a different kind of food. You will have to feed him four separate times, with dialogue in between.
You can increase his spirit by talking to him, but just try to choose the most positive things. This part is long, but there are no consequences if you get it wrong. Make sure he’s standing up and both his health and spirit are at least at 70 and 72% before you leave the cave.
For armour, go to the bank on Lunar Isle and talk to the most right banker ‘Birds-Eye’ Jack. Tell him you want to access Cyrisus’ bank account and then select a helmet, top, legs, boots, and weapon.
The easiest way to check if you got the right armour is to use the level 67 Lunar spell, NPC Contact, to ask Cyrisus whether you chose right. It may take several tries, but he will tell you that your choice is just right, take that set to him in the cave.
Now, you have to reach 100% in all of his remaining stats. When Cyrisus has reached 100% in all stats, he’ll tell you that he’s afraid of Combat. But you have to agree to accompany him to the Oneiromancer, and exit the mine.
Making The Potion
Head south to the Oneiromancer she is on the south-east of the island near the Astral altar. Talk to her and Cyrisus will appear, the Oneiromancer will suggest going into Dreamland together to solve Cyrisus’ fear of combat. The Oneiromancer will give you a dream vial which you will fill with water.
You need to obtain some goutweed, either by growing a gout tuber or by stealing it from the troll kitchens during Eadgar’s Ruse quest. Use the goutweed with the vial and use a hammer with an astral rune, and then use a pestle and mortar on the result add this to the potion to get a dream potion.
Last Part of The Quest: The battles
For this part, you have to enter into a dream world, but be careful because the first form of the boss hits incredibly hard. He is the most difficult part of the fight, while the other three are safespottable.
If you are using melee for this part of the quest you should take a halberd to tackle the second and third forms of the boss. You must complete Regicide to use a Dragon halberd, but a Rune halberd has no requirement other than level 40 Attack and 20 Strength.
Before entering the dream world bank and prepare for a hard fight. So stocking up with high-quality food like sharks, tuna potatoes, etc. If you can use the Blood spells from the Ancient spellbook or you can use Blood Blitz instead. Also, you will need a tinderbox to light the brazier, the dream potion.
Light the brazier and talk to Cyrisus to enter the dream state. You will enter his dream world where you will have to fight many high-level monsters in a row, without Prayer. The first form can use Magic but won’t do so when you melee it, so kill all the monsters with melee combat.
When you are fighting The Inadequacy use a dragon dagger which is very effective against him. Otherwise, the blowpipe is also a very effective weapon, because it can hit rapidly and the boss seems to have a relatively low ranged defense.
Magic is also extremely efficient even in melee armour as this monster has almost no magical defense. Don’t try to fight the Doubts, as they will disappear after the Inadequacy is defeated, so set Auto Retaliate to off to avoid fighting them.
Next, the second and third monsters can be fought with a halberd, you can use safespots right beside the lectern. The bar above will show Cyrisus’s Courage, which will increase as you fight and when the bar fills, Cyrisus will attack or use “Vengeance Other” on you.
Place your character right beside the lectern, and the second and third monsters will not be able to attack you. This is a good time to use a halberd, but if you want you can use ranged weapons for the second and third monsters.
The second monster is a level 223 called “The Everlasting”. For this boss, it is recommended to tank him so you can safespot the next one with a dragon halberd. Don’t forget to move off from the safespot, immediately after The Everlasting dies because you can get attacked from the next boss upon spawning.
The third monster is “The Untouchable”, which should be much easier than the first form but this one has high Defence. The fourth monster is The Illusive who will appear and disappear regularly during this battle, simply run after it to its new spawn-point and hit it.
The Illusive will then burrow and re-emerge and it will begin in the middle of the room each time, which should make it easier to spot his new location. The Illusive is similar in combat conditions to a Giant Mole, except that it does not run so far and rarely hits back.
After you’re done with all the bosses, go back to the Oneiromancer on the south-east of Lunar Isle and Cyrisus will be waiting for you to talk to the Oneiromancer to complete the quest.